tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214002689789881480.post4188649479699001055..comments2023-05-14T07:49:56.478-06:00Comments on Lea's Corner: Clique- A Four Letter Word?Leahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08935712285136696225noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214002689789881480.post-50097800662585882752012-02-09T23:07:50.955-07:002012-02-09T23:07:50.955-07:00@Michael, Thank you! And I'm glad we're al...@Michael, Thank you! And I'm glad we're all associated through this clique/kink of ours. :-)Leahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08935712285136696225noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214002689789881480.post-76202013471272191972012-02-09T20:13:15.533-07:002012-02-09T20:13:15.533-07:00Lea, what a marvelous post. So honest and insightf...Lea, what a marvelous post. So honest and insightful. I particularly liked when you said:<br />"In the above definition it states "held together by common interests, views, or purposes." Technically that would make all us spankos one big clique." <br /><br />Thank you for these precious and wise words.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214002689789881480.post-84020109132421829712012-02-08T21:44:10.287-07:002012-02-08T21:44:10.287-07:00@Newt, You've been embraced because you are aw...@Newt, You've been embraced because you are awesome. :-) The spanking/blogging community is full of great people and there's always room for more.Leahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08935712285136696225noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214002689789881480.post-85815930302713187822012-02-07T16:23:28.343-07:002012-02-07T16:23:28.343-07:00What a great post. While I am extremely out-going...What a great post. While I am extremely out-going in the vanilla world I felt like the new kid on the playground when I started commenting. Within a remarkably short time, I have been embraced to a point I never imagined. I am a total tech spaz- Have had so many people walk me through the steps, had people feature my blog. I was shocked to find how welcoming and open people are. From blogs to forums to twitter. I am not big on the word clique. Instead I will just say how happy I am to be a newbie in this Spanking tribe. Lea, you have left truly touching comments on my bog. thank U.Newthttp://theanthropologyofnewtkai.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214002689789881480.post-71054399703485193722012-02-06T22:33:40.719-07:002012-02-06T22:33:40.719-07:00@Erica, Very true. Most people already have their ...@Erica, Very true. Most people already have their mind made up one way or another. <br /><br />@joey, I try to stay aware of all new people because I definitely remember what it was like being the one in that position. And even after being around for a few years, sometimes I can still feel a bit out of it but there's always somebody to lend a hand (no pun intended lol) and pull me into a conversation.Leahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08935712285136696225noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214002689789881480.post-59320886675152747072012-02-06T05:20:43.565-07:002012-02-06T05:20:43.565-07:00Lea,
I agree with you and the comments made on yo...Lea,<br /><br />I agree with you and the comments made on your post about the warmth of spankos and their friendly nature.<br /><br />I remember how terrific people were to me when I attended my first spanking weekend. Honestly, I have never experienced anything like it in years of attending conferences in the vanilla world. Often cliques in my experience were used to exclude people from the "in" group. I always found that practice diabolical.<br /><br />This is a great topic for us. As we become more friendly with each other, we must never forget the newbie or the person standing alone at the party. It is very easy to become lost in a conversation with our good friends while people sit by themselves or stand alone and watch while others are having fun. I hope that in our special community we always maintain an inclusive friendly manner and welcome new comers to the group. <br /><br />It is also important for people new to a group to enter into conversations with people and get to know them. "Can I spank you" is not a recommended first line. "How did you learn about this group" or "Can you tell me about the protocols of the group" are better. Introduce yourself to the organizers and ask if they will introduce you to some of the members. <br /><br />Excellent topic Lea, thank you.<br /><br />joey<br /><br />@ Regan -- you are a sweet, intelligent and lovely young lady.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214002689789881480.post-62836823980049264612012-02-05T22:25:13.402-07:002012-02-05T22:25:13.402-07:00Sarah said it all very well, and all I can add is ...Sarah said it all very well, and all I can add is two words: sour grapes. I've spent years defending the people at spanking parties and groups, and now I realize that people will think what they think, despite painstaking explanations. Kind of sad and stupid, but what can you do?Ericahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02230915556455020371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214002689789881480.post-9028877888306152112012-02-05T20:36:51.614-07:002012-02-05T20:36:51.614-07:00@Todd and Suzy, "Honestly, in our entire live...@Todd and Suzy, "Honestly, in our entire lives... we haven't found a 'clique' as a whole more welcoming than spankos have been."<br /><br />I totally agree! I'm happy to have become part of such a great friendly group of people.<br /><br />@Regan, You're shy?? ;-) I am too but some people just don't believe me. You should've met me back at my first weekend, I was a mess! If you're an oddball you are the most awesome oddball I've ever met!<br /><br />@sarah, Very well stated. I agree. Some people need to focus more on themselves and not worry about what everyone else is doing. That is a recipe that'll always leave the worrier feeling bad. I'll happily start this on the spanking world group. Don't steal it! ;-)Leahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08935712285136696225noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214002689789881480.post-77372761024113382702012-02-05T17:49:51.378-07:002012-02-05T17:49:51.378-07:00BTW, you should totally star this discussion on th...BTW, you should totally star this discussion on the spanking world, Lea! That is, if someone else doesn't steal the topic for themselves! <br /><br />sarahsarah thornehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07297956738875001690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214002689789881480.post-42555648789526090282012-02-05T17:46:53.965-07:002012-02-05T17:46:53.965-07:00I guess my biggest thing about people who complain...I guess my biggest thing about people who complain about 'cliques' is...why are you so concerned with who others are choosing to hang out with? Why is it anyone else's business?<br /><br />I have found that the ones who tend to complain most about 'cliques' seem to be insecure in general about their own likability. So, instead of looking inward at themselves and focusing on what would make *them* happy and working towards that, they focus on what others have that they want and basically bitch that they don't have a right to have friends, and enjoy their friends, or prefer to hang their friends.<br /><br />Big deal. People have close friends, and that's who they choose to spend time with. Why is that anyone else's business to dictate? When someone accuses others of being 'cliqueish', they're basically saying, "you have friends that you enjoy, and I have to see it and I don't like it because I'm not involved too!"<br /><br />How stupid.<br /><br />People need to focus on their own lives and friendships, and not worry so much about the lives and friendships of others. Cuz I doubt people are gonna decide to just up and say, "OH! This one person doesn't like that I enjoy my group of friends! I suppose I should stop being friends with my friends so they won't call me snobby or elitist."<br /><br />Yeah. Like I am gonna do that to please someone who doesn't like me anyway for having a group of friends that I can enjoy.<br /><br />People need to grow up and stop worrying about what others are/are not doing to their own liking, and establish their own happiness instead of bitching about others'.<br /><br />:-D<br /><br />sarahsarah thornehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07297956738875001690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214002689789881480.post-5856307221735873082012-02-05T16:21:42.785-07:002012-02-05T16:21:42.785-07:00I have to agree with Todd & Suzy (and add, as ...I have to agree with Todd & Suzy (and add, as a side note, that I'm thoroughly impressed with their tandem typing skills). I am grateful that I have been warmly received, despite being a dork and an oddball.<br /><br />The sad thing is that so many people just don't seem to progress beyond their set of eighth grade social skills. This is everywhere. I don't know why or how to change this. Maybe some people can't stop being elitist any more than I can stop being shy. <br /><br />--ReganAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214002689789881480.post-16694216518542856532012-02-05T10:16:36.407-07:002012-02-05T10:16:36.407-07:00As a general rule the spanking scene is open and i...As a general rule the spanking scene is open and inviting. Most folks remember being a newbie and being treated well as they emerged from the shadows. The protocols and such are relaxed and usually just being a friendly person is enough to get you in. It can be a far bigger challenge in other BDSM cultures where there are specific rules about interacting with people and your level of experience has a great deal to do with your standing. Spankos tend to be far more relaxed.<br /><br />There are cliques though. Like you say, you find those everywhere in life. They develop naturally. Again though, those tend to be pretty friendly to newbies. The very first party we ever attended... Shadow Lane in Las Vegas... we were welcomed with open arms into several different "private" suite parties. People knew we were newbies and many used that fact as a reason to go out of their way and welcome us. That included some well known people... like Erica Scott.<br /><br />There are, however, a few that are cliquish and snobby to a degree that is unwelcoming. While they might seemingly be friendly from the outside, you find yourself being treated as a 'less than' once you're actually interacting with the group. There is a peeking order based on a criteria you don't quite understand. Some score the better treatment... some don't. And some are flat treated like 'interlopers.' Easy to get sucked into that too, because you start believing if I just do the right things... including engaging in the same cliquish behavior advocated by the group... I'll score that invitation to the main house and be part of that coveted inner circle. It's a lot the same way the social scene was structured in the Jr High cafeteria. That is something to avoid.<br /><br />The spanking scene is filled with warm hearted people that will welcome you with honest open arms... and that's where you want to be. Sure, they'll have shared stories and inside jokes... but they will invite you in, in a positive and fun way. Honestly, in our entire lives... we haven't found a 'clique' as a whole more welcoming than spankos have been.<br /><br />:)<br />~Todd and SuzyA.S.S.http://americanspankingsociety.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7214002689789881480.post-34978645327434077072012-02-05T09:38:00.368-07:002012-02-05T09:38:00.368-07:00Amen girl! I have more to say and will be back whe...Amen girl! I have more to say and will be back when I am not on my phone, and have an actual computer in front of me to expand on my thoughts! :)<br /><br />Sarahsarah thornehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07297956738875001690noreply@blogger.com