New York

I want to head East again. My last vacation away in April feels like SO long ago. This last week, a friend announced that she was granted a job transfer to NYC that she'd been wanting for a while and will be moving there next month. I'm really excited for her. A bit jealous even. Though I couldn't even afford the rental space for a cardboard box to live in out there. Lol. Having a job and money is kind of key to moving, whether it's a few blocks away or across the country. I'm a realist.

I'm not much of a baseball fan.

I'd be perpetually lost in the subway system.

I'm not big on the outdoors.

It's crowded and expensive.

But it sure is fun to look at and visit.

And I think I have the attitude to fit in.

Even Peeps love NYC!

And then there's one of the city's highlights, SCONY, where all my friends hang out.

I miss you all! October can't come soon enough!

"New York" cover by Cat Power

Start spreading the news I'm leaving today I want to be a part of it New York, New York  These vagabond shoes Are longing to stray Right through the very heart of it New York, New York I wanna wake up in a city That doesn't sleep And find I'm king of the hill Top of the heap These little town blues Are melting a way  I'll make a brand-new start of it In old New York If I can make it there I'll make it anywhere It's up to you New York, New York New York, New York I want to wake up In a city that never sleeps And find I'm a number one, top of the list King of the hill, a number one These little town blues  Are melting a way I'm gonna make a brand-new start of it In old New York And... if I can make it there I'm gonna make it anywhere It's up to you New York, New York



(All pictures with exception of the Peeps car taken by yours truly. And once again, Blogger's preview is not showing the post like I spaced it out to look. Grr..)

Ode To The Cane

Love it or hate it, the cane is something that causes a reaction before it even touches you.

Fear. Pleasure. Loathing. Intrigue.

Thinking about it can twist my stomach into knots. If you'd asked me a few years ago if I'd be willing to experiment with a cane, I would've said hell no! It was a hard limit for me in the beginning. Everything I saw or heard about caning seemed so severe which terrified me.

And being American, it's not the most common type of implement to really be exposed to anyway. Many spankos have never touched one. My friend Mr. A started to really get into caning last year and after hearing many good things from others who'd tried it, I bit the bullet. It was a really good experience, which I wrote about here.

Crazy me, I've since requested it on a few occasions. I've grown to really enjoy it at times. But that certainly doesn't mean that I always receive nice canings. It can leave a sting like no other. For those who've never tried it, just remember that no one implement is really "bad." It's a matter of the intent to which it's being used and who is wielding it. Just about anything can be used softer or sensually up to making you feel like you've been attacked by a swarm of bees.

I also prefer sting to thud so it works quite nicely for that. But there are a lot of different canes out there and I'm told that many of them are on the thuddy end of the equation, if that's your cup of tea. I also love the ritual part of a spanking. Canes can give a very school-type traditional feel to a scene. Being bent over a desk, skirt raised, can be thrilling and terrifying all at the same time.

When I'm in the right headspace for it, the cane creates quite the mindfuck. Hearing that unmistakable swish through the air before it strikes. Feeling the light taps across my bottom before the harder stroke lands. The sound, the feel, it's the whole package. *shivers* Mindfuck. I know someone will get after me for language, but that's really the perfect word to describe it. I need something that gets into my head sometimes.



found at The Pink Papers



If you're a fan of marks, the cane leaves some distinct and lovely ones. Angry little lines of fire. It can be applied in many different ways. Softer, sensually, with a touch of sting. A slow, steady build-up, preparing you for the six of the best at the end. Fast and furious, squirm-inducing, feet kicking, feeling like your bottom is on fire sting. Tonight I received the latter and am typing this while sitting on my stinging bottom with a smile.

The Technicalities Of BDSM?

Things like this can be found on the internet, but we're worried about 50 Shades Of Grey giving a false perception of the world of BDSM? Lol. I now know that the "sin bin" is what the penalty box is called in rugby, thanks to recently watching the movie "Forever Strong." I've never been involved in any jelly wrestling though. Am I doing this all wrong?

Stress Relief

This picture was taken at a party a few weekends ago where I met with many different implements. This post is actually not about the party, but I wanted a picture to go with it. And since I was asked by many, I'll also add that the fishnets were from Torrid. It's rare that thigh highs really go to my thigh because of my height, but they fit nicely. Anyway, on to the current week's events.

 

This past week was fucking terrible. By Monday at 7, after a really long stressful day of work where I left an hour later than I should've had to be there, I was ready to write my own children's book. Lea's Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Fucking Day. The adult sequel to Alexander's, of course.

Tuesday was more of the same. Crazy busy at work, every nutjob customer seemed to come out of the woodwork at once. And why do they all seem to call in the last hour of the day anyway? Then I go out to my car and some asshole parked their big truck well over the yellow line into my space, so close that I couldn't even get into my driver's side door. I had to get in on the passenger's side and climb over the median between the seats, which the top then broke off of, to get into the driver's seat. Ever tried being 6 feet tall in a Corolla and climbing over anything? FML.


Wednesday continued the trend of shittiness for the week. My bank account bounced and I got hit  with  overdraft fees after a payment that was supposed to post to a different card didn't. Work seemed endless. And I can't even watch The Daily Show before I go to bed because DirecTV is in some fight with the company that provides a handful of the channels which have been suspended for days now. What am I  supposed to do without Comedy Central?? Argh! (Seriously, if someone else who uses DirecTV has any idea how long this is going to go on, please let me know. Can't find out a thing from them.)



Tell me about it, Maxine.



Plans to see S on Thursday night were my last hope for salvaging the week. After how the past few days had gone, I was unusually direct for me, lol, and told him I needed a hard spanking when I saw him. And he's nice and stuff so was happy to oblige. :-D Some stress relief was definitely called for. Spanking can be a lot of different things to different people. Various aspects of it do different things for me, but one of my favorite applications of it is for stress relief. Having that opportunity to just let go, even if only for a moment, is lovely. Making my mind just pause and take in the moment, not worrying about anything else.

When he came over, I lied out on my bed with my bottom bared. He selected the rattan cane and leather paddle from the toybox. He started with the cane in quick lighter taps, building up to harder strokes. It didn't take too long to get me squirming because that thing stings like no other. Why do I prefer sting over thud again? He set that down and switched to spanking me with his hand for a while and then to the leather paddle. That is one of my favorite toys because of it's versatility but it can definitely induce some squirminess when applied with the intent to do so. He had that intent. And I'd asked for it, literally, so why do I still complain? Eh, it's a bottom thing. Lol.

He kept rotating between the cane, paddle, and his hand. I was definitely feeling each swat and my legs were kicking and I kept squirming around. He wrapped his arm around me to secure me from wriggling off the bed. (A sprained ankle is the last thing I need this week!) After I was good and pink, the spanking wrapped up. My head was clear and I was soothed. Success! I really hope I can get a second dose of stress relief this next week. Pretty please?

Basket Case

Yesterday would have been my fifth wedding anniversary. Did you know that the fifth is supposedly the wood anniversary? Guess I got out of that just in time. Lol. The last few months have been hard. Harder than I thought they would be. And it's not even about him. I don't want to reconcile. I don't want him back.

It's about me. I don't feel like I know what to do with myself sometimes. I've always felt I was a pretty level-headed person. Always the mature one in my groups of friends throughout life, the one who others came to for advice on their own problems. But lately, I feel like a complete basket case. I think I've cried every single day for the last few weeks. I'm not a crier.

I don't want to jump into another marriage, that's for sure. That wouldn't help anything anyway. I have to work on myself and figure out what I even want before worrying about anybody else. And that's the scary part. I don't really know where to begin. How can you expect someone else to love or care for you when you don't love yourself? That's the question that has been eating at me for a while now. And I don't have an answer.

I've always thought I was pretty good at being alone. In past relationships I wasn't a super clingy type. Definitely not one of those annoying makes-me-want-to-hit-them-attached-at-the-hip couples. Lol. I was happy doing my own thing, having my own friends and interests, and all of that. Being completely dependent on someone was never my personality. It's not a matter of feeling like I can't go on without having someone in my life. I know I can. I'm an independent adult. But that doesn't mean I don't miss having someone around in certain moments.

I think the part that has been really hard in this change (aside from the fact I don't adjust well to change, even if I know the change is for the better in the long run) is it has brought to the surface all the insecurities I've always had about myself. I'm too tall, I'm not pretty enough, I'm pessimistic. Who would even want me anyway? I know that's not productive thinking but those are things that have been on my mind. And I have at least one friend who would totally beat my ass if he heard me talking bad about myself. Lol.

I probably have my own self-image too tied up in how I perceive others feel about me. And that's not good. As much as I say "whatever, I don't care what others think about me" that's not really true. Is it even possible to really not care about what other people think? I do care, particularly when it's someone close to me whose opinion means a lot. I'd think that's the case for many. I feel like I'm rambling. The plan? Focus on myself. How to do that? I still don't know.

Wood (What Is It Good For?)

Unfortunately, I don't have any stories about 4th of July spankings. Things were all vanilla for the holiday. But I hope you enjoy my latest song parody. This is my take on the classic War (What Is It Good For?) by Edwin Starr. Hope you'll sing along!

Wood (What Is It Good For?)

Wood! huh-yeah 

What is it good for? 

Absolutely nothing
Uh-huh

Wood! huh-yeah 

What is it good for? 

Absolutely nothing 

Say it again y'all

Wood! huh good God 

What is it good for? 

Absolutely nothing 

Listen to me

Ohhh wood I despise 

Because it means destruction 

Of innocent thighs

 Wood means tears 

To thousands of bottoms eyes 

When they grumble and fight 

and lose with a sigh

I said- Wood! Huh Good God y'all 

What is it good for? 

Absolutely nothing 

Say it again

 Wood! Whoa, Lord.. 

What is it good for? 

Absolutely nothing 

Listen to me

Wood! It ain't nothing but a buttblazer 

Wood! Friend only to the meanest spanker

Wood! It's an enemy to all bratkind

The thought of wood blows my mind

Wood has caused unrest in the spanko population

Induction then destruction-

Who wants to cry?

Ohhh Wood, Good God y'all

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing

Say it, Say it, Say it

Wood! Uh huh Yeah- huh!

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing

Listen to me

Wood! It ain't nothing but a buttblazer

Wood! It's got one friend, that's the meanest spanker

Wood has shattered many a bottom's dreams

Made them tearful and sorry as can be

Bottoms are too precious to paddle on all day

Wood isn't right, it should go in the fire to stay!

Wood! Huh Good God y'all

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing

Say it again

Wood! Whoa Lord..

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing

Listen to me

Wood! It ain't nothing but a buttblazer

Wood! Friend only to the meanest spanker

Peace love and understanding;

tell me, is there no place for them today?

With tops we must fight to keep our pants on

But Lord knows there's got to be a better way

Wood! Huh Good God y'all

What is it good for?

You tell me

Say it, Say it, Say it

Wood! Huh Good God y'all

What is it good for?

Stand up and shout it

Nothing!

 

 

I Am A Person, Not A Fetish!

Yes, it's true. I am a whole person, with a face and everything, though I don't show it here. This rant is in follow up to some annoying out of the blue messages and friend requests on FetLife that I'm sure many of us have encountered. (Hell, Erica Scott could write a book about it!) You know, the ones from a complete stranger who you have no common friends or interests with. The one who clearly didn't read your profile where it says in big red letters:

If I don't know you, please send a message along with any friend requests. I don't add people I've never talked to. Thanks.

Usually the message isn't even a complete sentence. The subject line will read "Do" and the body of the message: "you need to be spanked?" And that example has better grammar than many I've seen. I'm quite tempted to reply with Subject: "Who" Body: "the fuck are you?" Because that is my first thought. Has social media shorthand and constant texting reduced our intelligence so greatly that we don't know how to say "hello" anymore? Can people still speak in complete sentences and have a conversation? I'm getting lost on a grammar tangent here but I'll return to my original point.

I am a person, not a fetish. Whether online or in person, a good way to start a conversation is to say "Hello. I'm (fill in blank). What's your name?" Then let the conversation lead where it may which could include talking about interests in the scene or outside of it. Obviously if you see me at a spanking party, I probably like to spank or to be spanked or am thinking about it. We're all there for the same reason but that doesn't mean that all social norms can be thrown out the window. Approaching a person who you've never spoken with and starting a conversation with "I'd love to beat your ass" isn't in good form. 

We are all still people. Most people like to get to know a person a little better before letting them put their hands all over their body. Use some common sense and some social skills, please. As nice as it may be to have my butt complimented, I am more than just a "spankable bottom." I can talk and everything! I know approaching people isn't always easy. I admit that I'm terrible at it myself as I'm very shy. But even I can manage a hello and introducing myself.  So if you see me, come say hello! And if you want to tell me that you'd love to beat my ass, maybe save that for a few minutes into the conversation. ;-)