Thursday, May 19, 2011

Spanko Vision

Whispering in my best Haley Joel Osment impression, "I see spanked people..." 

Do you have spanking on the brain? You could call it a sixth sense, the spanko sense even. I find it a bit odd that there are people who don't think about spanking all the time. Freaks... Lol. It is certainly something on my mind a lot. The size of one's hands and tone of one's voice are some of the first things I notice about a person. I rewrite spanko versions of songs all the time. (You can find my latest one here.)  I always wonder what other people may be into spanking. Nearly everything I see is a potential implement and anything said can become spanking innuendo. I spend a good amount of time on spanking forums, chatting with spanko friends, and reading spanking blogs. A friend called it "obsessive spankulsive behavior". Here are some potential signs.









                   Is the "S" section of your dictionary the most worn?










When you look at this, do you think I'd love to take a nice hot bath or do you think RUN!!

Do you observe the irony of Arnica gel being sold near the bathbrushes at Whole Foods?








        
             Does being called young lady make you blush?










Have you used the term "getting toppy" in your everyday life to describe getting what you wanted?






Do you hang out near the belt section of your local department store to hear that swooshing sound when they are tried on? Okay, not as subtle. Lol.








When someone uses the word "banking" in conversation, do you think twice about what they may have said?








Have you ever used the term "spankable bottom"?













        Are you balding yet still own a collection of hairbrushes?









Are the words "tops" and "bottoms" forever disassociated with clothing in your mind?








Do you get butterflies in your stomach when you see a straight backed chair in the middle of a room?










If you answered yes to a few of these, you too may have spanko vision. But don't worry, I think it just makes life all the more interesting. I observe these things and smile that I'm in on a joke that the majority just doesn't get.

8 comments:

joeyred51 said...

Lea,

Yes, I have spanko vision also. I visit the belt department first when I am shopping for clothes. I look over the wood in the big box DYI stores. When I shop at Bed Bath and Beyond, I check out the hair brushes and bath brushes and think of what beyond means. My long distance running coach is very toppy. Sometimes I count reps in French, or brat and get extra work, or answer Yes Sir or Ma'am (depends on who is the coach) to the coach's orders. Also, I read spanking blogs and comment in Fetlife and write on the Delphi message board.
I guess I too have "obsessive spankulsive behavior."
:):)
Lea: Great blog topic. You are very clever and witty.

bree512 said...

I think it's just a phase I am going through. Yeah.....One big long phase! (giggles) A spanko remake of "The Sixth Sense" must be made now. Hehe.

@joey "and I think of what beyond means". Very funny joey. I think you will find out the meaning soon I hope. Hehe.

@Lea I answered yes to mostly everything, but "banking"? Please explain. Are you tired of explaining things to me yet, Lea? (giggles)

bree

eileen061209 said...

This list is so amusing, young lady. In the last couple of years, I have collected a number of items you discuss above: I was just wondering yesterday if my [really great] bath brush would be nice in the shower, then I regained my senses; I own at least 3 wooden hairbrushes...none of which I use to blow dry my hair; and your white chair makes my pulse race: In December, 2009 I was expecting a gentleman caller but did not have a suitable straight-back, wooden chair. I found one almost identical to you chair pictured above [mine is a cream color] at a used furniture shop for $20. With the exception that my chair has 3 wide verticle panels in the back, they are the same. Please note the cross bars below the seat; I'm sure you can imagine how "handy" they can become as the harsh discipline increases.

Lea said...

@joey, thank you. I also wonder about what the beyond means. ;-)

@bree, you know, "banking" rhymes with "spanking". So if you hear it in conversation it may make your ears perk up and listen harder.

No joke, today on Days of our Lives no less, there was a line where a woman was saying to a man "It was a great date. I'll probably be sore for a week, but it was worth it." I thought, uh what now? Then recalled that in a previous episode the characters were going hiking together. Yeah...

@eileen, bath brushes go in the shower?? Hehe. I don't think there is one chair in my home that has arms on it. Odd...

Alan_FMS said...

Very nice topic and very appropriate to all of us. I identify very much with the hairbrush comment. I have had several people use my bathroom and ask me why the heck I have so many hair and bath brushes. Just a couple of days ago Conair hairbrushes were BOGO at the local supermarket and I couldn't resist adding more.

Sammie said...

LOVE this post! I often look at people and wonder, are they...naaaaa. When I see someone that looks like they could be a very good top, I think "should I test them and find out....naaaa".

I'm very happy to hear my thoughts are not odd, it's the vanilla people that are weird, we are the normal ones.

Bonnie said...

Hi Lea,

Yes, yes, and yes. All I can say is that we're in fine company! :D

Hugs,
Bonnie

Lea said...

@Alan_FMS, I think that one hairbrush is more than ehough. Just sayin'.

@Sammie, absolutely we are the normal ones.

@Bonnie, very fine company indeed.