Sunday, May 15, 2011

The Sounds Of Spanking

Simon and Garfunkel, please forgive me. I just had to spankify this song. For those who've been living under a rock for 40 years, here's the original.

Now for my version.

The Sounds of Spanking

Hello paddle, my worst friend
You've come to meet with my rear end
Because I spoke without thinking
And soon my top will have me shrieking
Anticipation that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Amid the sounds of spanking

Across the room I walked alone
To a corner of brick and stone
Passing minutes ticked by slowly
I turned my eyes to him sorrowfully
When my bottom was smacked by the flash of his hand out of sight
That pierced the night
With the sounds of spanking

And bent over the bed I saw
Ten thousand implements, maybe more
Brushes talking without speaking
Canes and crops sure got me listening
Straps landing smacks that voices will never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sounds of spanking

"Lea", said he, "Now you must know
I'll spank your bottom 'til it glows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take these swats that I might reach you"
And his words, on my conscience fell
And echoed
With the sounds of spanking

And my knees began to sway
I knew my backside wouldn't be saved
He had succeeded in his warning
The marks were already forming
And I said, "I've learned my lesson sir, and I know you care. I'll be good I swear."
And so ended the sounds of spanking


Erica said...

HAHAHAHAHA! Brilliant! And that's my favorite S & G song, too. :-D

Ursus Lewis said...

Very nice Lea! When do I hear you sing this version?

bree512 said...

(I had my lighter flicked on throughout the reading of your version.) WooHoo!! (clap, clap, clap. whistle, whistle) Excellent Lea. It sent shivers up my spine and that's a good thing.


Erica said...

Yay, your parody is back! Since they haven't restored the comments, I'll restate what I said yesterday -- this is brilliant and funny, and it's my favorite S&G song. :-)

Bonnie said...

Hi Lea,

I love this song, both the original and your version. How much do I love it? This much!

Great minds... :D


bree512 said...

@Lea (I had my lighter on throughout the reading of your version of the song) Yay! Excellent! Clap! Clap! Clap! Whistle! Whistle! I love it! I love it! I love it! (Standing ovation.)

I love that song too.

I can't say that every time I hear that song again I will now think of your version. Can't because I already have heard that in my head with my version.

Since Decemeber of last year I have SCONYized and spankized almost everything. Is there a doctor in the house?

Yes, take two severe spankings and call me in the morning.


I feel better already.


Lea said...

@Erica, thank you!

@Bonnie, OMG I repeat that I will never be able to find a topic that you haven't already covered! Lol! Really like your version.

@bree, I know right? What's wrong with us anyway? ;-)

Anonymous said...

Well done Lea.

Bonnie said...

Thanks, Lea. I have the same problem. My solution is to do it better the second time.

Here is some related fun.


Lea said...

@joey, thank you!

@Bonnie, I was playing the original in the background while reading your lyrics. Fantastic!

Now I'm wondering what to do with Cecilia, my other fave S&G song. I can hear it now...

"Cecilia, I'll spank that bottom, I'll spank that bottom daily.
Oh Cecilia, get over my knee, get over my knee right this moment.
Cecilia, I'll spank that bottom, I'll spank that bottom daily.
Oh Cecilia, get over my knee, get over my knee right this moment.
Right this moment.
Spanking fun in the afternoon with Cecilia, up in my bedroom.
Spanking fun!
I get up to remove by belt
Then I come back to bed to give her more than a welt..."

Ah, I can't turn it off! S&G is just providing too much good material. I mean, the song has "knee" in the lyrics, what do you expect? It's begging to be changed. Hehe.

Bonnie said...


I love it! That's one S&G song I haven't corrupted yet.

I always thought Cecelia deserved a spanking anyway.


eileen said...

It may be a fact that most people, or at least many women, from my generation cannot avoid the image of Dustin Hoffman as the camera follows him in the opening scene of The Graduate to the song, Sound of Silence. Simon and Garfunkel became icons of the musical industry and were part of the very best that the 1970's offered; it didn't get any better.

So, how could you do it, lea? How could you take the lyrics of a classic, melancholy ballad and adapt it so...beautifully for the spanking genre. The words are so crisp, so clear and authentic that..well, it makes my bottom burn!

What can you do with Bridge Over Troubled Water?

Lea said...

@eileen, Sounds Of Silence makes me think of The Graduate as well. Yes, no comments about how young I am, I've heard of the movie, own it even. If you look at the link in Bonnie's comment above, Bridge Over Troubled Water has already been given a terrific spanko spin.

Hermione said...

Lea, that's very clever! They're one of my favourite duos too.


Lea said...

@Hermione, thanks for reading!

Dr. Ken said...

Lea -- I've done a few song parodies for my own blog. I must say I enjoyed this. Well done!

I might have to consider doing an S&G song in the future....

Lea said...

@Dr. Ken, thank you! S&G certainly provides some good material.