The Justin Timberlake Scene

On Saturday night I attended the NLA-U play party. The theme was "Queen of Hearts." But I had my own theme in mind. You see, it was Justin Timberlake's birthday that same day. Certainly something worth celebrating! Other people were sadly unaware of this except for those who didn't tune me out for the past week. But that's okay. I knew and I had a plan. A Justin Timberlake scene would be happening. 

I started thinking of a playlist to fit the mood. It would have to be a mix of JT songs with some 'N Sync throwbacks for good measure. I wanted to have each album represented but I did leave out "Home For Christmas" since it didn't really fit. No offense, Christmas album. I still treasure you. I thought of warm up, more upbeat stuff for the middle, and then cool down to end things. This was the final list for anyone who wishes to replicate such a magnificent scene.

1. FutureSex/LoveSound- JT- FutureSex/LoveSound

2. Tearin' Up My Heart- 'N Sync- 'N Sync

3. Cabaret- Drake, JT- The 20/20 Experience

4. Rock Your Body- JT- Justified

5. Dress On- Justin Timberlake- The 20/20 Experience

6. Giddy Up- 'N Sync- 'N Sync

7. (And She Said) Take Me Now- JT- Justified

8. Up Against The Wall- 'N Sync- Celebrity

9. (It's My) Dick in a Box- JT, Andy Samberg

10. SexyBack- JT- FutureSex/LoveSound

11. Digital Get Down- 'N Sync- No Strings Attached

12. Gimme What I Don't Know (I Want)- JT- The 20/20 Experience

13. Damn Girl- JT- FutureSex/LoveSound

14. I Drive Myself Crazy- 'N Sync- 'N Sync

15. Suit & Tie- JT- The 20/20 Experience

I emailed S the playlist. He was able to find all the songs except for "Dress On" which is apparently an exclusive on the version of the album that was sold at Target. Music was in order. Now my mind went to wardrobe. I had a new dress to wear that was above the knee and dark blue with faux leather piping down the sides. But how would I show this was a JT scene? I had the idea to make the letters JT out of duct tape and put them on the back of my panties. You can see the end result on the right. Now I was ready. Music. Check. Wardrobe. Check. Sort-of-willing-top. Check.

I arrived at the party about the same time as S. Since we were going to be somewhat disruptive with our own music I wanted to find a space that was out of the way of the crowd. Because I'm fucking courteous like that. I do realize there are some poor souls who do not appreciate the music of JT. I can't fix all that is wrong with the world. The party was packed and every play space was taken right from the beginning. We waited and were able to snag an open massage table in a side room and get set up. 

I laid down on the table and pulled my dress up. S set out things from his toy bag, got the playlist started on his phone, and playing through his portable speaker. We were immediately surrounded by JT's sexy voice. He started spanking me with his hand to warm me up. Though he has a tough hand these days so that is not always easier to take than some of the implements. My skin felt cold at the beginning which made each swat stingier. He cycled through his tawse and some straps. I occasionally moved from side to side to the beat of the music besides my normal squirming.

Parties tend to always play shitty industrial music in the background so my playlist did catch some attention from passersby. People would poke their heads in and watch for a moment and then go on their way. When "Dick In A Box" started I heard some laughter. That's always a crowd favorite. S continued with some other items from his bag, checking that I was still doing alright. Towards the end I counted out loud a final 34 swats with his hand as JT's birthday proxy. We didn't make it all the way through the playlist but it was a successful scene.

The above picture was the end result. My J got mussed up a bit from the dress being pulled up and down. I was left with a big smile and a nicely reddened backside. Thank you to S for playing along. Even though he refused to sing along. Pfft. I even got 2 more spankings that night. One was as a proxy for an attendee's birthday. And the other was with someone I had been looking forward to playing with for the first time. All went well and I had a lot of fun at the party. My bottom ended up even more colorful but unfortunately I didn't get a pic at the end of the night. I'm sure this scene will live in infamy as nobody else has done such a thing. 

*Author's note- Yes, I know that I am a ridiculous person and I appreciate everyone who humors me.*

Happy 34th Justin!

Happy 34th birthday to Justin Timberlake! "Here We Go" again. You've been a huge success since such a young age because you just "Do Your Thing." Every "Senorita" wishes she could "Rock Your Body" and be your "Girlfriend." I know, I know. There's "That Girl." Jessica. But "Just Don't Tell Me That." I'm "Crazy For You" even through the bad times.

And by that I mean some of your hairstyle choices. "Last Night" I was remembering the braids, the 'fro, the Ramen noodle looking 'do. "It Makes Me Ill" to think about some of it. Thank goodness you've said "Bye Bye Bye" to bad style. But none of that matters, "This I Promise You." You're the icon who brought "SexyBack." I'll love you "Until the End of Time." I'll always have "Tunnel Vision" when it comes to the King of "Pop." Happy birthday!

I'm attending an NLA-U party tonight and there WILL be a Justin Timberlake scene. I'll be back with that story. Stay tuned!
 

Happy Birthday Justin!

Today is a very special day. It should be a national holiday, damn it. Why am I at work? How do we not recognize the current King of Pop's birthday on all of our calendars? Yes, it's that time again. Justin Timberlake's birthday. He is now 33. Can you imagine having a net worth of $100 million at that age? At any age? I suppose it helps to have extraordinary talent.

Justin first appeared on television screens in 1992 as a contestant on Star Search. He didn't win. Nice hat! He was born in Memphis.

In 1993 and 1994 he graced the screen again on the cast of The New Mickey Mouse Club. Did anyone else watch this every week? Remember the pre-teen soap opera within the show called "Paradise Cove"? Haha.

'N Sync was formed in 1995 and their self titled album was released in the U.S. in 1998. They came on tour to Salt Lake City and it was the first concert I ever attended, with my mom and sister, because that's how cool I was. Hey, I couldn't drive yet! They returned a few years later on the "No Strings Attached" tour. I attended that one sans Mom.

A true fan is present through all the style changes no matter how bad they are. I remember the bleached hair phase and oversized clothes. Oh, the hoop earrings.

The hair that resembled Ramen noodles.

Those braids.

And who can forget the infamous 'fro? (I had the Justin and J.C. marionettes. It also had a bleached 'fro.)

just because

And Justin grew up. He went on to a successful solo career that some blame for ending 'N Sync.

He stayed busy with several acclaimed solo albums and many collaborations with other artists. 

If he wasn't already a success in music and in film, I think he could've been a comedian. I always tune in when he's going to be on SNL.

He's starred in many movies and continues to tour for his latest album.

I've followed him through it all. I mean I didn't literally follow him. He keeps changing the security code to his home anyway.

Justin, I will never forget who brought SexyBack. I will never say Bye Bye Bye to my 'N Sync albums. You're so talented, I know that God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You. It Makes Me Ill that you skipped over Salt Lake City on your latest tour, but I forgive you. Let's get away, just The Two Of Us. We can go Sailing around the world. You can bring your Suit and Tie. 

With your net worth of $100 million, we can buy all the Strawberry Bubblegum we want and always live like we Just Got Paid. Tell Jessica that The Game Is Over. No one will ever love you Like I Love You. You've got me LoveStoned. Happy birthday to the King of Pop!

The Twelve Days Of Fucking Christmas

December can be rough. Some people just seem to lose their damn minds when the holidays approach. This is my Twelve Days of Christmas parody on some of the annoyances that we've all probably encountered at this time of year. Except the Peeps. Those are not an annoyance. Enjoy!

The Twelve Days Of Fucking Christmas

 

 On the first day of Christmas December gave to me
a package of snowman Peeps

On the second day of Christmas December gave to me
2 malls to avoid

and a package of snowman Peeps

On the third day of Christmas December gave to me
3 snowstorms
2 malls to avoid
and a package of snowman Peeps

On the fourth day of Christmas December gave to me
4 credit card bills
3 snowstorms
2 malls to avoid
and a package of snowman Peeps

On the fifth day of Christmas December gave to me
5 stomachaches
4 credit card bills
3 snowstorms
2 malls to avoid
and a package of snowman Peeps

On the sixth day of Christmas December gave to me
6 pints of eggnog
5 stomachaches
4 credit card bills
3 snowstorms
2 malls to avoid
and a package of snowman Peeps

On the seventh day of Christmas December gave to me
7 trips of shopping
6 pints of eggnog
5 stomachaches
4 credit card bills
3 snowstorms
2 malls to avoid
and a package of snowman Peeps

On the eighth day of Christmas December gave to me
8 days of crazies
7 trips of shopping
6 pints of eggnog
5 stomachaches
4 credit card bills
3 snowstorms
2 malls to avoid
and a package of snowman Peeps

On the ninth day of Christmas December gave to me
9 angry phone calls
8 days of crazies
7 trips of shopping
6 pints of eggnog
5 stomachaches
4 credit card bills
3 snowstorms
2 malls to avoid
and a package of snowman Peeps

On the tenth day of Christmas December gave to me
10 throbbing headaches
9 angry phone calls
8 days of crazies
7 trips of shopping
6 pints of eggnog
5 stomachaches
4 credit card bills
3 snowstorms
2 malls to avoid
and a package of snowman Peeps

On the eleventh day of Christmas December gave to me
11 hours of traffic
10 throbbing headaches
9 angry phone calls
8 days of crazies
7 trips of shopping
6 pints of eggnog
5 stomachaches
4 credit card bills
3 snowstorms
2 malls to avoid
and a package of snowman Peeps

On the twelfth day of Christmas December gave to me
12 rude customers
11 hours of traffic
10 throbbing headaches
9 angry phone calls
8 days of crazies
7 trips of shopping
6 pints of eggnog
5 stomachaches
4 credit card bills
3 snowstorms
2 malls to avoid
and a package of snowman Peeps

 

Happy fucking Holidays!

 

Why I Love Fall

The time is coming! October is almost here! It's finally one of my favorite times of the year. Don't you just love fall? 

Football!

Pretty colors!

Campfires! (Which means Peeps roasts!)

Great temperatures with heat of summer gone but not yet stuck with snow!

Corn mazes!

Silly pumpkin carving!

Delicious seasonal coffee!

Delicious seasonal foods!

Haunted houses!

Cuddling is the best when it gets cool!

What is the best thing about October? Well anyone who has read here for a while knows what is coming next.

HALLOWEEN PEEPS!

Oh wait. Is that not what you thought I was going to say? There is something else and the 30 day countdown has begun. SCONY's Mountain Weekend!

I'm so excited to see all my friends again and meet some new ones. SCONY makes me think of the theme song from Cheers. It is the one place I can go and be surrounded by friends and people actually remember my freaking name (and say it right, unless they're just being jerks)!

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

 

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.

Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot.

 

Wouldn't you like to get away?

 

Sometimes you want to go

 

Where everybody knows your name,

and they're always glad you came.

You wanna be where you can see,

our troubles are all the same

You wanna be where everybody knows

Your name.

 

You wanna go where people know,

 people are all the same,

You wanna go where everybody knows

your name.

 

 

A very fitting song, I think. 28 more days, my friends! (And check out the countdown clock I added on the top right!) What do you love about fall?

Part Of Your World- Spankified

I haven't spankified a song in a while so here's a new one for you. Set to the tune of "Part Of Your World" from The Little Mermaid. I really miss all my friends who I'll be seeing in October who inspired this one. Enjoy!

Part Of Your World

 

Look at this stuff, isn't it neat?

Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?

Wouldn't you think I'm the girl

The girl who has everything?

Justin's poster on this wall unfolds

How many Peeps can one apartment hold?

Looking around here you'd think

Sure, she's got everything

I've got tawses and paddles a plenty

I've got leather and floggers galore

You want hairbrushes? I've got too many

But who cares? No big deal, I want more

I wanna be where the spankos are

I wanna see wanna see 'em bratting

Watching them become dead..

What do you call it? Meat

Without some tops you don't get too far

Laps are required for lying over

Spanked 'til my bottom feels..

What's that word again? Heat

Up where they walk, until they run!

Up where they play all day just for fun

Over a knee

Wish I could be

Part of that world

What would I give if I could live

Amongst the odder?

What would I pay to spend a day

With some good friends?

Betcha out there, they're always fair

Bet they don't reprimand their bottoms

Bright young women, sick of vanilla men

Ready for a hand

And ready to know what the people know

Ask 'em my questions and get some answers

What is a FES and why does it..

What's the word? Burn

When's it my turn?

Wouldn't I love

To explore that spanko world up above

Over a knee

Wish I could be

Part of that world

My Favorite Things- Redux

This is my parody of The Sound of Music's "My Favorite Things" which I shared a while back. Hope you enjoy!

My Favorite Things

Rosy spanked bottom that's sore when I'm sittin'

Bending over for spankings in the kitchen

Cane-iac packages tied up with strings

These are a few of my favorite things

Cute colored panties with pictures of poodles

Dreaming of spankings all day while I doodle

The sound of a belt whipped off before it swings

These are a few of my favorite things

Tops in white dress shirts, sleeves rolling in a flash

Getting The Look that makes me want to dash

Anticipation that makes my hands wring

These are a few of my favorite things

When the strap bites

When the cane stings

When I'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel so bad

Scoldings over things I shouldn't have written

Reminded there are times my tongue should be bitten

Damn, I forgot how much his hand can sting

Why were these some of my favorite things?

It wasn't smart saying his arm spanked like a noodle

Now I'm gonna get it, the whole kit and kaboodle

The paddle comes down hard making my ears ring

I need to reassess my favorite things!

Why does it seem our logic always clashes?

I pout out my lip and bat my eyelashes

He's not falling for it and makes the cane sing

Leaving furious lines until to him I cling

When the strap bites

When the cane stings

When I'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel so bad

Santa Baby

Christmas is approaching and I wrote a new parody to share with you. Hope you enjoy this spankified version of "Santa Baby." If you want to risk your hearing, click play on the video at the bottom. That's me singing. Happy holidays everyone!

Santa Baby (spanko style)

 Santa baby, pull me right over your knee,
Oh please,

I've been an awfully bad girl,

Santa baby, oh hurry up and spank me tonight.

Santa baby, what? 54 swats of the strap too?

You Scrooge!

I'll be a good girl dear,

Santa baby, not sure I want to be spanked tonight!

As you pull me by my wrist,

I say "Alright, alright, if you do insist,"

I'm o'er your lap to be spanked good,

Now please check off my Christmas list.

Santa baby, I wanna swat,

Oww not all on the sit spots!

Been an angel all year,

Santa baby, give me a good girl spanking tonight.

Santa honey, there's one thing I really do need,

To feed,

This spanko's desires,

Santa honey, oh hurry up and spank me tonight.

Santa cutie, and now my bottom is quite a wreck,

Oh heck,

Signed with stinging red lines,

Santa cutie, you've got my bottom burning tonight.

This next year oh you will see,

I'll be so good I won't need any spankings,

I really do believe in you,

Now why are you laughing at me?

Santa baby, now leave me with one mighty big swing,

That stings,

To remember you by,

Santa baby, oh hurry up and spank me tonight.

Hurry up and spank me tonight,

Hurry, tonight.

Spanking Carols!

I'm working on a new Christmas parody, but still have a few final touches to make on it. In the meantime, here are a few spankified Christmas tunes I shared last year. Enjoy!

During last year's holiday season, some friends and I turned nearly every Christmas tune into a spanking parody. But this involved me, so of course the Peeps could not be left out. "Peep" rhymes with "tree" and it just went downhill from there. So here is my little song to the tune of O Christmas Tree, followed by a few others I wrote.

O Christmas Peep

O Christmas Peep! O Christmas Peep!

You are so very tasty;

O Christmas Peep! O Christmas Peep!

You are so very tasty;

Not only trees when winter's here,

But also chicks at Easter.

O Christmas Peep! O Christmas Peep!

You are so very tasty!

O Christmas Peep! O Christmas Peep!

You are so very sugary;

O Christmas Peep! O Christmas Peep!

You are so very sugary;

How often has the Christmas Peep

Afforded all the greatest glee!

O Christmas Peep! O Christmas Peep!

You are so very sugary!

O Christmas Peep! O Christmas Peep!

Your colors shine so brightly!

O Christmas Peep! O Christmas Peep!

Your colors shine so brightly!

From green to pink, yellow and white,

There's only splendor for the sight.

O Christmas Peep! O Christmas Peep!

Your colors shine so brightly!

O Christmas Peep! O Christmas Peep!

How good Just Born has made thee!

O Christmas Peep! O Christmas Peep!

How good Just Born has made thee!

You know who the true and faithful be,

We love our Peeps unchangingly.

O Christmas Peep! O Christmas Peep!

How good Just Born has made thee!

The Twelve Days Of Christmas (Lea style)

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me

 a spanking over his knee

 On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me

 Two burning cheeks

 And a spanking over his knee

 On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Three scoldings

 Two burning cheeks

 And a spanking over his knee

 On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Four leather straps

Three scoldings

Two burning cheeks

And a spanking over his knee

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Five bars of soap

Four leather straps

Three scoldings

Two burning cheeks

And a spanking over his knee

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Six canes-a-swishing

Five bars of soap

Four leather straps

Three scoldings

Two burning cheeks

And a spanking over his knee

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Seven swats-a-standing

Six canes-a-swishing

Five bars of soap

Four leather straps

Three scoldings

Two burning cheeks

And a spanking over his knee

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Eight belts-a-swinging

Seven swats-a-standing

Six canes-a-swishing

Five bars of soap

Four leather straps

Three scoldings

Two burning cheeks

And a spanking over his knee

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Nine hairbrushes

Eight belts-a-swinging

Seven swats-a-standing

Six canes-a-swishing

Five bars of soap

Four leather straps

Three scoldings

Two burning cheeks

And a spanking over his knee

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Ten tears-a-streaming

Nine hairbrushes

Eight belts-a-swinging

Seven swats-a-standing

Six canes-a-swishing

Five bars of soap

Four leather straps

Three scoldings

Two burning cheeks

And a spanking over his knee

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Eleven wooden paddles

Ten tears-a-streaming

Nine hairbrushes

Eight belts-a-swinging

Seven swats-a-standing

Six canes-a-swishing

Five bars of soap

Four leather straps

Three scoldings

Two burning cheeks

And a spanking over his knee

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Twelve minutes in the corner

Eleven wooden paddles

Ten tears-a-streaming

Nine hairbrushes

Eight belts-a-swinging

Seven swats-a-standing

Six canes-a-swishing

Five bars of soap

Four leather straps

Three scoldings

Two burning cheeks

And a spanking over his knee

Spanking Christmas

(to the tune of White Christmas)

 

I'm dreaming of a spanking Christmas

Just like the ones I used to know

Where the tops say "Listen!"

And bottoms glisten

Their heat melting all the snow

I'm dreaming of a spanking Christmas

With every apology card I write

Where the day brings "sorries" and feeling contrite

And a bottom glowing bright

I'm dreaming of a spanking Christmas

A top with a long list in sight

While their day may be merry and bright

My bottom will be burning all night!

Carol Of The Canes

(to the tune of Carol Of The Bells)

Hark! How the canes

Mean wooden canes

All seem to say,

"Run, run away!"

The tops are here

Instilling some fear

To young and old

Meek and the bold

Whiish, Craack! Whiish, Craack!

That's how they smack

With a big swing

Bottoms stinging

One seems to hear

Words not of cheer

From ev'rywhere

Filling the air

Oh how they pound,

Raising the sound,

O'er hill and dale,

Telling their tale,

Gaily they swing,

While people scream,

Words not of cheer,

The tops are here

Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!

Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!

On, on they send

On without end

Their awful swing

Bottoms stinging

Swiish, craack, swiish, craack!

 

 

I'll Spank You For Christmas

(to the tune of I'll Be Home For Christmas) 

 I'll spank you for Christmas

You can count on me

 Please set out the straight backed chair

 And be in the corner standing

Christmas Eve will find you

Pulled o'er my knee

I'll spank you for Christmas

  Merry Christmas to lovers of spanking

 

 

Here Comes Mr. Top
(to the tune of Here Comes Santa Claus)

Here comes Mr. Top!
Here comes Mr. Top!
And he's got a cane!
  Ronnie and Bonnie and all the bottoms
try to run out of the way!
He starts swinging, girls are shrieking,
Bottoms burning bright
Hang your head and say your prayers
'Cause Mr. Top comes tonight

Here comes Mr. Top!
Here comes Mr. Top!
And he's got a cane!
He's got a bag full of implements
you won't want to see again!
Strap a'swinging, tears are streaming,
Bottoms try to flee from sight
He is near, cover up your rear,
'Cause Mr. Top comes tonight

 

And for anyone celebrating Hanukkah, I haven't forgotten you!

 

Paddle, Paddle, Paddle
(to the tune of Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel)

He has a big old paddle
He made it out of wood
And when he's toppy and ready
I'll quickly learn to be good!

Oh paddle, paddle, paddle
He made you out of wood 
And when he's toppy and ready
I'll quickly learn to be good!

It has an evil body
With holes so short and thin
And when my bottom's tired
I give in and never win!

Oh paddle, paddle, paddle
He made you out of wood
And when he's toppy and ready
I'll quickly learn to be good!

The paddle's never playful
It takes away my grin
He points to the chair and says,
Bend over, let's begin!

Oh paddle, paddle, paddle
He made you out of wood
And when he's toppy and ready
I'll quickly learn to be good!
 

 

Climbing Every Mountain

SCONY Mountain Weekend- Thursday

The SCONY mountain weekend was on the horizon. I got on the red eye flight to JFK which was thankfully only about 4 hours long with the jackass in front of me reclining into my legs. Why does that person always sit in front of me when no one else in the whole row is leaning back? Guess what? Passive aggressively slamming back into your seat repeatedly isn't going to magically make me any shorter. I am tall and my legs have nowhere else to go. Quit being a dick.

Mr. Grumpypants picked me up from the airport at an ungodly early hour. He packed and ran errands before we were on our way to pick up our Canadian friends D and B from another airport. After finding them, we headed into the city to get Alicia and BV. BV gave me some Halloween Peeps which was awesome. After some questionable tying of luggage to the roof, we were on our way to the resort. We stopped for lunch at Cracker Barrel where I was oddly excited to have okra (this coming from the non vegetable eater). I also almost won that game with the pegs getting down to having just 2 left.

We made it by early afternoon and there were already many people there. There was excited chatter and hugs all around. These trips always appease my hug slut fix. It's weird because in everyday life I'm pretty uncomfortable hugging people, but here I can't get enough of it. It feels so natural and I'm so happy to see everyone. I checked in and got my room key along with a hug from J, the fantastic manager. I miss the staff almost as much as I miss my other friends. Everyone is so fun. I forced myself to lie down for a bit knowing it'd be a long night and then got ready before dinner.

Other folks continued to arrive including our fearless leaders, Ms. M and Mr. R. It was a huge crowd at dinner for a Thursday night. I remember when I was new a few years ago and Thursdays were maybe half the size. I caught up with friends and realized that none of the Harry Potter spells were making the salad that had been placed in front of me disappear. Hmm. Following dinner many of us made our way down to the lounge for karaoke. Usually I have a whole playlist in mind but this time I didn't.

I sang "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me" from Culture Club and apologized to the people who have heard me do that 4 or 5 times now. There were a few group numbers as well. I think we should be called the Singing Club Of New York, destroying one karaoke bar at a time. Lol. I sang. I chatted. I met the owners of the fuzzy chickens from April. Yes, I mean that literally. I did not hit my head on the low ceiling beam that gets me almost every weekend. Not yet anyway.

I was surprised how many people were already wandering off to the upstairs area to play. Thursday is usually pretty low key as everyone gets settled in and some like me are dead tired from a long day of travel. With my wussy status and bruising ability, I try to pace myself to not outplay myself in the beginning when there are several days to get through. I didn't say I was successful at that, I just said that I try. Lol. Sometimes I do alright, sometimes I don't.

I did play once that night with Joey. He was a gentleman as always and well aware of it being only Thursday. We went upstairs and I bent over the pool table. He spanked me with a leather paddle over my pants, enough that I could feel it but definitely not overdoing anything. It was a nice warm up for the weekend as we chatted about the activities to come over the next few days. It ended with a hug and we returned to join the group downstairs.

I opted not to attempt the nearby hot tub, though some did, because it was pretty damn chilly and the uphill walk back to my room is always a long one when soaking wet. I hung around until after midnight but the exhaustion had long since set in so I called it a night. Regarding the title of this post, the location of the party is a very hilly area. As I'm gasping for breath going up and down hills all weekend, I always think that I really should attempt some exercise at least a week before arriving. Then I remember I'm lazy. What can you do? A verse of "Climb Every Mountain" from the Sound of Music comes to mind.

Climb this damn mountain
Duck under beams
Oowws and Aahhs will echo
As tops make me scream

Part 2 to come!

Every Spanking Hurts (R.E.M. Parody)

Recently, my friend Amy let me share her awesome parody "That Top's Decision."  Now I'm revisiting R.E.M. for my take on "Everybody Hurts." It has "hurts" in the title, how could I not spankify it? Enjoy!

Every Spanking Hurts

When you're told you're wrong and his hand spanks you for so long,

When you're sure you've had enough of this top, blabbing on

Just let yourself go, feel free to roll those eyes. Every spanking hurts sometimes.

Remember this little song,

As the spanking goes along.

When your bottom's red and sore, (hold on, hold on)

Your palms resting on the floor, (hold on)

When you think you've had too much of his hand, well hang on.

Every spanking hurts as the top roasts your end.

Every spanking hurts. But so does his hand. Ha, ha. So does his hand.

If you feel you need to groan, no, no, no, you are not alone.

If you're lying o'er the pillows, the swats feel hard and strong.

When you think you've had too much of the strap, hang on.

Well, every spanking hurts, sometimes.

At least it's not your thighs. And every spanking hurts sometimes.

And every spanking hurts sometimes. So hold on, hold on.

Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. (fade)

Every spanking hurts.

You are not alone.

That Top's Decision (R.E.M. Parody)

The credit for this wonderful parody goes to my friend Amy. I'm even mentioned in the chorus! We sang this one during the jam session at the September SCONY weekend and it was a blast. No, I didn't get sent to the corner after singing it. ;-) Hope you enjoy the spankified take on the R.E.M classic, Losing My Religion.

That Top's Decision

Oh.. tops, are bigger

 Their egos are bigger than you and me

The lengths that they will go to

To put tears in your eyes

Oh no I've said too much

I set you up

That's Lea in the corner

She just had a big fight about that top's decision

He likes to tell her what to do

And I don't think she's gonna do it

Oh no I've said too much

I haven't said enough

I thought that I saw you kicking

I thought that I heard you scream

I think I thought I saw you cry

Every moment of every waking hour

Tops try to get confessions

From innocent bottoms just like you

Like an evil and jaded fool, fool

They always say so much

To set it up

Consider this, consider this,

The thing called the F.E.S.

Consider this, the strap

That buckled both my knees

Now, what if tops with belts and straps start to flail them around

Now I've said too much

I thought that I saw you kicking

While you were across his knees

I think I thought I saw you cry

But that was just a scream

That was just a scream

That's Lea in the corner

She just had a big fight about that top's decision

He likes to tell her what to do

And I don't think she's gonna do it

Oh no I've said too much

I haven't said enough

I thought that I saw you kicking

I thought that I heard you scream

I think I thought I saw you cry

But that was just a scream

Why cry

Try to fly away

That was just a scream

Just a scream

Just a scream, scream.



Wood (What Is It Good For?)

Unfortunately, I don't have any stories about 4th of July spankings. Things were all vanilla for the holiday. But I hope you enjoy my latest song parody. This is my take on the classic War (What Is It Good For?) by Edwin Starr. Hope you'll sing along!

Wood (What Is It Good For?)

Wood! huh-yeah 

What is it good for? 

Absolutely nothing
Uh-huh

Wood! huh-yeah 

What is it good for? 

Absolutely nothing 

Say it again y'all

Wood! huh good God 

What is it good for? 

Absolutely nothing 

Listen to me

Ohhh wood I despise 

Because it means destruction 

Of innocent thighs

 Wood means tears 

To thousands of bottoms eyes 

When they grumble and fight 

and lose with a sigh

I said- Wood! Huh Good God y'all 

What is it good for? 

Absolutely nothing 

Say it again

 Wood! Whoa, Lord.. 

What is it good for? 

Absolutely nothing 

Listen to me

Wood! It ain't nothing but a buttblazer 

Wood! Friend only to the meanest spanker

Wood! It's an enemy to all bratkind

The thought of wood blows my mind

Wood has caused unrest in the spanko population

Induction then destruction-

Who wants to cry?

Ohhh Wood, Good God y'all

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing

Say it, Say it, Say it

Wood! Uh huh Yeah- huh!

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing

Listen to me

Wood! It ain't nothing but a buttblazer

Wood! It's got one friend, that's the meanest spanker

Wood has shattered many a bottom's dreams

Made them tearful and sorry as can be

Bottoms are too precious to paddle on all day

Wood isn't right, it should go in the fire to stay!

Wood! Huh Good God y'all

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing

Say it again

Wood! Whoa Lord..

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing

Listen to me

Wood! It ain't nothing but a buttblazer

Wood! Friend only to the meanest spanker

Peace love and understanding;

tell me, is there no place for them today?

With tops we must fight to keep our pants on

But Lord knows there's got to be a better way

Wood! Huh Good God y'all

What is it good for?

You tell me

Say it, Say it, Say it

Wood! Huh Good God y'all

What is it good for?

Stand up and shout it

Nothing!