Broken

My nose is in the corner  

Butterflies rage fiercely in my stomach

It's maddening not seeing what he is doing 

Only hearing his movement and the unzipping of bags.

My senses are on edge

I flinch as he approaches behind me and makes me face him.

That look he gives me, those words he says,

I cannot bear to look him in the eye.

He guides me to bend over the chair

I jump as the hairbrush comes down hard across my bottom.

I feel his hand at the small of my back

Keeping me in my place.

He asks me a question

As I hear the cane swish through the air.

Answer him! 

But the words stick in my throat

SWIIIISH CRAAAACK! SWIIIISH CRAAAACK!

The sting of the cane reverberates through me

I know the answers

Why won't they come more easily?

His tone, those words,

Are like a pin prick to my heart

Tears fall silently down my face
The taste of salt and regret reaches my lips

I gasp as the strap connects hard and fast with my tender flesh
The swats continue as my mind battles itself.

I can't take the pain. Yes, I can.

I earned this. I need this.

Submission overcomes me, that word I cannot say aloud.

Why do I fight it so?

He always wins

We both do.

He breaks me

Then helps put the pieces back together

"I don't want to have to do this again. But I will."

"I know, sir. I know."