Sunday, March 4, 2012

The After Hug

Who doesn't love a good hug? Well, a lot of people actually. And in some settings, I'm one of them. In the vanilla world, I don't really like being touched. I've been at work parties where people hugged everyone goodbye and I felt extremely awkward doing so. I like to cuddle but once the cuddling is done, I turn back toward my side of the bed and go to sleep. I can't sleep with someone touching me.

When I discovered the spanking world and began meeting people, I found them to be a very affectionate bunch. Everybody hugged, all the time. Nice to meet you! Hug. Good morning! Hug. Haven't seen you in a few hours! Hug. After a spanking. Hug. Time to head home now. Hug. It awakened my inner hug slut. I loved it. Maybe it was something about the closeness I already felt with everyone because of TTWD, but hugging fit in nicely.

There is a type of hug for almost every situation. There's the friend hug.

The greeting/so happy to see you again hug

The consoling hug

The I'm trying to distract you from something else hug

The happy hug

The comforting hug

The sexy hug

And my personal favorite and an important part of aftercare, the after the spanking hug

The whole ritual of a spanking is very important to my headspace. It starts with the anticipation beforehand, communication with the top, reasons laid out, scolding if the occasion calls for it. Undressing and being put into position. Then the spanking itself. Sometimes cornertime. Then the aftercare. The aftercare is the most important part for me. Of course, not every spanking is some intense and elaborate emotionally mindfucking scene where I need to be cuddled for a half hour after. 

I bet you didn't know the alternative definition of SSC was Scolding, Spanking, Cuddling. Okay I'm kidding, totally made that up. Don't want to confuse any new people. But even for a more basic playful spanking, I like a minimum of a hug afterwards. Spank me. Hug me. Easy enough, right?


Anonymous said...


You are so right Lea. The hug is important to me as well. The deep emotional connection of a spanking seems to demand a hug. Anything less would be a huge letdown.

Well said,

Anonymous said...

In 'nilla land, I am a very "Do not touch me at all" kind of gal. Yet, I've been hugged by co-workers, near strangers, and once a manager gave me a hug and a very, very unwanted smootch on the cheek. GROSS!! But, among people I know and are comfortable with, different story. It's amazing how different people are regarding their views on touching. Depending on culture, upbringing, or just plain old personal preference, some people are hands on, others, hands off.

Susie said...

I'm with you. If I didn't get great hugs after I would go into complete meltdown and all sorts of bad things would happen.

Marne said...

Lea - Huge HUG!


Anonymous said...

I've got it all backwards. For me, the spanking is the reward, and the hug is a punishment. Okay, I exaggerate a wee bit, but not much.

Hugging is hard for me, but I really wouldn't rather do without it. I like the hug part of the ritual because it lends a sense of closure to the scene. It reminds me and the
playmate that everything is okay and now that the play is over, we are back to being friends. I think maybe this has become tradition because otherwise we run the risk of having negative feelings spill over into real life.

It's true that spankos are a tactile group! I find that alarming and enticing by turns. But I remember thinking, my first weekend back in September, watching everyone greet each other with such warmth and affection, that next time...that will be me, so excited to be reunited with friends that I can't help but hug the stuffing out of them.


Erica said...

A spanking without a hug leaves me feeling somewhat unfinished and out of sorts. Whenever I watch a video where the spanker just abandons the bottom afterward and leaves her alone to cry, I want to crawl through the screen and hug her myself.

sarah thorne said...

I love love love hugging my spanko friends! Like you, I am generally a completely hands-off-I-need-my-personal-space kind of person. But in the spanking world -- I love all the hugging!!


kiwigirliegirl said...

im a hugger but only with certain people. I liked your definitions of the various spanking scenes....its funny how we need the "whole" thing and not just part of it.
cool post :)
love and hugs kiwi xxx

Lea said...

@joey, Absolutely. Hug deprivation after a spanking would be the definition of cruel and unusual punishment. Lol.

@Adriane, It's funny how our opinions on it can change depending on the setting. Of course, after I've been half dressed over someone's lap, a hug doesn't seem like much of an invasion of privacy. ;-)

@Susie, It is definitely a critical part of my aftercare and it seems that many agree.

@Marne, HUGE HUG back!

Lea said...

@Regan, So am I allowed to hug you in April? I better be!

@Erica, I totally get what you mean. Some people just don't like it, I guess.

@sarah, I think as a whole, I've hugged my spanko friends more than my own mother. Lol.

@kiwi, My head definitely needs that ritual and regularity to it all. The hug being left off the end would just make me mad. ;-)

Newt said...

I am hug slut everyday in every way.
I have been known to hug the UPS man and the Fedex guy. This is not a exaggeration.

Sometimes words can't convey.
A hug always can.

Hugs slut, #35348494,
Newt kai

Lea said...

Haha, does the UPS guy come back a lot?

Newt said...

Same guy for a year and half. So F*ing hawt in a weird way. You know I have to get my mail order on when i don't see him a while.... Just sayinn. LLBean order=Ups=HUG.
i embrace my hug slutness. Out loud and proud.

Lea said...

@Newt, Hahaha! I love it!

ronnie said...

I only hug certain people and not all family and I don't like to be hugged by someone I don't know.

Hugging after a spanking is totally different. Sometimes I don't like to be hugged after a spanking.

Good post Lea.


Anonymous said...


I'm not a hugger. I'd much rather give a handshake if I have to have physical contact with someone, but if I really love someone, then hugs are great, and especially necessary for me after a spanking! I really love the pictures you chose for this post, also.


Emen said...

See Me
Feel Me
Touch me
Heal me

Lea said...

@ronnie, Different strokes for different folks. ;-)

@Kitty, Glad you liked it!

@Emen, Mm hmm.