Sunday, December 22, 2013

The Twelve Days Of Fucking Christmas


December can be rough. Some people just seem to lose their damn minds when the holidays approach. This is my Twelve Days of Christmas parody on some of the annoyances that we've all probably encountered at this time of year. Except the Peeps. Those are not an annoyance. Enjoy!

The Twelve Days Of Fucking Christmas
 
 On the first day of Christmas December gave to me
a package of snowman Peeps

On the second day of Christmas December gave to me
2 malls to avoid

and a package of snowman Peeps

On the third day of Christmas December gave to me
3 snowstorms
2 malls to avoid
and a package of snowman Peeps

On the fourth day of Christmas December gave to me
4 credit card bills
3 snowstorms
2 malls to avoid
and a package of snowman Peeps

On the fifth day of Christmas December gave to me
5 stomachaches
4 credit card bills
3 snowstorms
2 malls to avoid
and a package of snowman Peeps

On the sixth day of Christmas December gave to me
6 pints of eggnog
5 stomachaches
4 credit card bills
3 snowstorms
2 malls to avoid
and a package of snowman Peeps

On the seventh day of Christmas December gave to me
7 trips of shopping
6 pints of eggnog
5 stomachaches
4 credit card bills
3 snowstorms
2 malls to avoid
and a package of snowman Peeps

On the eighth day of Christmas December gave to me
8 days of crazies
7 trips of shopping
6 pints of eggnog
5 stomachaches
4 credit card bills
3 snowstorms
2 malls to avoid
and a package of snowman Peeps

On the ninth day of Christmas December gave to me
9 angry phone calls
8 days of crazies
7 trips of shopping
6 pints of eggnog
5 stomachaches
4 credit card bills
3 snowstorms
2 malls to avoid
and a package of snowman Peeps

On the tenth day of Christmas December gave to me
10 throbbing headaches
9 angry phone calls
8 days of crazies
7 trips of shopping
6 pints of eggnog
5 stomachaches
4 credit card bills
3 snowstorms
2 malls to avoid
and a package of snowman Peeps

On the eleventh day of Christmas December gave to me
11 hours of traffic
10 throbbing headaches
9 angry phone calls
8 days of crazies
7 trips of shopping
6 pints of eggnog
5 stomachaches
4 credit card bills
3 snowstorms
2 malls to avoid
and a package of snowman Peeps

On the twelfth day of Christmas December gave to me
12 rude customers
11 hours of traffic
10 throbbing headaches
9 angry phone calls
8 days of crazies
7 trips of shopping
6 pints of eggnog
5 stomachaches
4 credit card bills
3 snowstorms
2 malls to avoid
and a package of snowman Peeps
 
Happy fucking Holidays!
 

6 comments:

Erica said...

A-FUCKING-MEN!! Brava! LOL

joeyred51 said...

Lea,

Very naughty!!! I hope that Santa spanks you on Christmas morning. :)

Miss you.

Merry Christmas and Hugs,
joey

kiwigirliegirl said...

i concur with joey lol. merry xmas leah hugs kiwi xx

Marne said...

That parody definitely deserves a Christmas spanking! Hope you get many.

Merry Christmas, Lea. Can't wait to see you again.

Huge hugs -

Marne

Kenzie said...

Lol Oh Lea! I love this! Definitely had me laughing out loud! :)

Lea said...

@Erica, You definitely crossed my mind when I was posting this. ;-)

@joey, I miss you too! Happy fucking holidays! ;-)

@kiwi, I wish Santa had spanked me! That would've really completed the day.

@Marne, Happy holidays! May can't come soon enough!

@Kenzie, Glad you enjoyed it!