Thursday, June 14, 2012

Things That Make You Go Hmm...

I am completely normal. It's the other people who can go shopping and not see how everything is related to spanking that are a bit off. How could this not stand out at you? And it's COMPLETELY false, by the way. 

Ouchless for who? The one holding it, maybe. Glad your wrist is comfortable. *rolls eyes*

Same with this

Cruelty free? Ha!     

The hearts aren't fooling anyone. This would hurt like a mofo.

from Cane-Iac
I once went shopping for Arnica gel and found it quite ironic that it was sold across the aisle from a wall of bathbrushes. I wonder if the cashier saw me blushing as I hurriedly grabbed a bottle.

I bought a Mason Pearson brush for a friend that was for spanking purposes, but I found it quite funny that one of the reviews mentioned it was "great for a 100 stroke brushing before bed." Who knew I would find such great insight on Amazon!

There really is no section of the store that doesn't scream spanking. 


 Any practical person would realize this is being sold purely to lie across for the strap.
 This could be comfy to bend over.


Silk sheets can feel quite luxurious to lie on as you're being spanked. The downside is they can be slippery, so squirming might result in falling right off the bed. Does it sounds like I'm speaking from experience? I am.

Does anyone use these things in the bath? I mean, really? I didn't think so. They are clearly made to be evil spanking tools.


Most items for the kitchen are used to smack someone with. Silicone is extra stingy.

Men's Clothing

Can you look at men's dress shirts without imagining a guy slowly rolling up his sleeves? 

Women's Clothing

I bet they'd look even better when I'm bent over.

Even a vanilla person must have some spanking thoughts when browsing these.


Who hasn't been threatened to be spanked with their own flip flop?


No, I don't hang out near the men's belts just to watch them being tried on and pulled back off. Didn't you read the beginning of this post? I'm normal.

Lovely scarves. I wonder how they'd feel tied around my wrists.
Roomy handbags are always a plus. Could hide an implement or two in there.

And now you see how everything is related to spanking. It's not just me, not at all. I hope you all enjoy your next kinky trip to JC Penney.


Anonymous said...


Last night, I was with some kinky friends and we were talking about how to "kinkify" things. Your blog proves the point that so many every day items can be used by kinksters.

But, why must a bottom buy an implement? And, in your case, a bag to carry them all for someone to use on your butt? Hmmmm. Oh. I almost forgot, there is no word for fair in the Top Dictionary.

Great post Lea.


Dragon's Rose said...

Sadly, we can't go to a kitchen store without Dragon trying out a few new "implements" on his hand. If it has a satisfactory sting, we leave with it. Spaghetti spoons, spatulas, whisk. The options are endless.

Emen said...

I certainly will enjoy my next trip anywhere, secure in the knowledge I'm so normal. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

I narrowly escaped getting spanked by a flip-flop just recently! I begged Daddy not to use it on me and he is so sweet, he relented:).


P.S. Yes, I deserved it, but sometimes for some inexplicable reason, he just doesn't have the heart to spank me when I beg him not to, lol!

SNP said...

Lea, Great post and lots of fun.
Kitty, I find it hard to believe!

Anonymous said...


It's true...scout's honor, lol!


Anonymous said...

BAWHAHAHA!!! That was great, Lea!

Even though I have no toy collection of my own, I must admit that I keep an eye out for pervertables when I'm shopping, especially in the thrift store.

I guess this means I really do belong here.


Erica said...

This is hilarious! :-D

Finally, someone else who uses the word mofo.

Lea said...

@joey, A bottom doesn't HAVE to carry or buy their own stuff, but sometimes it's preferable to what the top may bring to use otherwise.

@Dragon's Rose, Kitchen stores can be hazardous. They should get warning signs!

@Emen, Yes, we are ALL normal. That's what I'm going to keep telling myself anyway. :-)

@Kitty, Flip flops can be stingy! You talked him out of it, eh? You'll have to tell me privately how you do that. ;-)

@SNP, Glad you enjoyed it! And yes, I find it hard to believe, too!

@Regan, It is hard not to notice them because they are truly everywhere!

@Erica, I do use it on occasion. There's always some mofo out there who makes the term come to mind again. ;-)

Abel1234 said...

Lovely post. I particularly love the "cruelty free" bath brush!

ronnie said...

Hilarious Lea, thanks. Flip flop spanking, no thanks.

Have a good weekend.


Ana said...

Great, Lea, I'm catching up on blogs and blissfully enjoying myself...only to come across this squirm-inducer!!!

But seriously, great post.

Lea said...

@Abel, Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for stopping by!

@ronnie, I recommend hiding the flip flops near tops!

@Ana, Glad you liked it!

playful little brat said...

Haha, I love it!! I have that "cruelty free" bath brush and THAT is one false advertisement!

Lea said...

@playful little brat, Bathbrushes are the WORST!