Sunday, October 26, 2014

Shadow Lane 2014- Part 2

Here is the long awaited other half of my Shadow Lane experience. I've been far too behind on blogging and even had some spankings focused on that since, but I'll get to that later. In the previous post I was only on day 1 so this will recap the rest.
The picture on the left was in the bathroom of our hotel room at Shadow Lane. S thought the crane looked very sinister and was worth photographing.

Saturday started off with the Bad Boy's Party that was being hosted by Harry. My friends who had arrived so late on Friday night hadn't gotten a chance to talk to our friend Harry yet so we all headed up to say hi. It drew a good crowd and everyone seemed to be having fun. Not being a female top, I think my presence there was misleading so I ended up waiting in the hall with my friend M. We moved on to brunch and getting ready for the day. In the afternoon, the first open party was the TTYL party- Tights, Thongs, Yoga Pants, and Leggings. It was a full house with lots of play happening.

I met up with Harry and went back to my room to play. He didn't have his whole bag with him so I picked through some of what S brought and he selected some things to use. We've played several times before and it's always been fun. I laid on the bed and he strapped me with S's find from the vendor fair. We chatted throughout catching up on what's been going on and already excited for the October SCONY weekend. There are never enough spanking parties for a spanko. :-) He used a few other straps and two different floggers. I got very relaxed into it and was well warmed up for the day. We ended with a hug and I went back to the party to find S.


S and I went back to our room to get some time to ourselves. He got a full demo on how his new implements worked. Review- They hurt! Lol. I'm a terrible reviewer. The round leather paddle had two distinctly different feelings depending on which side he used. The one side had a bit of a thud and was nice for sensation without much pain. The other side was VERY different and stung a lot. That one got me squirming and I continued being very squirmy with the long leather strap. It's not a flexible leather so the feel is almost closer to wood than leather. It's heavier and more in the middle of the sting and thud scale. The two wood items from Compass Rose are beautiful and wood and they hurt. Very stingy. :-) That is my review for the new items. I was quite sore after that but had a little break before heading to my next planned scene with DS.


DS and I have never played before and met in person for the first time at the newbies party the day before. We'd been chatting extensively on Fetlife prior to the party about having a scene, preferences, wants, and all that good stuff and I felt comfortable going into it. He started with a hand spanking and then moved to a flogging. I stood so he could flog my back and bottom, then turned around for my breasts to be flogged and strapped. I rarely have impact there and it was an interesting sensation. That's a delicate area and I had a few bruises later since I don't have leatherboob like I sometimes have leatherbutt. Lol. Don't have pics of that though, sorry. ;-)

After that I laid across his lap on the bed and he pulled my panties down to continue the spanking. He had about a million and five implements. :-) I can't recall everything he used at this point. We talked throughout and he would show me what he had. He kept me guessing by rarely getting into a typical left, right, left, right pattern. The speed and intensity really varied as parts would speed up and really have me squirming, then slow, then switch to a different toy. My bottom was on fire by the end of it. It was a fairly heavy scene intensity-wise. I really enjoyed it. We sat and talked for quite a while after. I got my hug and went back to the room. S took the above picture. It doesn't nearly do the color justice.

It was time to get dressed up for the evening's dinner/dance. We met up with A, M, SNJ, and SY to go get a table in the ballroom. Saturday night is a buffet style dinner with a dance floor opened up after. (For the adventurous.) The meal was good, the dessert was even better. A few of us went to a corner of the room to take pics of each other since we were all dressed up. Ahem, I still don't have copies of any of those. Should've used my own phone. I got entranced watching DL doing a double strapping scene to the side of the room during dinner. Very cool.

Eventually we went back to the room to change. We did a tour of the open suite parties throughout the night going from one to the next. I didn't play more that night. Around 2 in the morning I was getting hungry so S and I ventured around the casino to find the world's slowest service at a 24 hour sandwich shop. There were all of 3 people in there and it took over a half hour to get a pastrami sandwich. I mean WTF? And it ended up being a bad decision and I was feeling a bit ill the entire next day. Note for next time- pack some snacks to have in the room for late night munchies.

Sunday started off with Spanking Court with Judge Strict Dave. This is where I finally saw some people emerge who I hadn't located all weekend. If you ever come to one of these events, do NOT miss this! It's so much fun. Probably even funnier if you know the people involved in the cases, but entertaining nonetheless. There were some hilarious cases. Spankos are very, very creative people. I'll just leave it at that. And I kind of wished I had entered a case and totally thrown it just to get a guilty verdict and strapped by the judge. Lol. Afterwards we got some lunch and headed to one of the open suites while many others were in DL's suite for the Judicial Singapore Caning event. I hadn't signed up for it because I didn't know if the serious tone would be in my headspace at the time. But I heard such great things from attendees later that I think I may go if it returns to the party again.

The couch became free in the suite so S and I grabbed the spot to play. He started off the spanking with his hand and then switched to a strap. From the marks in the picture there was definitely a cane involved, possibly two. Even though I've had to do it locally for years, I still don't like playing out in the open with so many people around. But I think I had tuned out the surroundings fairly well. I was able to relax into it and just focus on the sensations and on S. A friend actually commented to me later how surprised she was to see me playing in there because she knows I prefer a private setting. The scene went well though. S is an expert at reading me by now. Well, as far as during a spanking at least. ;-) We left to go get dinner at the restaurant downstairs while a few of our other friends actually went to attend a wedding. I had to get through one goodbye that night since A was leaving for the airport. I was glad to get to see her again and have some time to talk.

Sunday night was similar to Saturday night. We wandered around to different suites to see what was going on. I didn't play again the rest of the night. Alex came over and chatted with me, S, and our friends in one of the suites. She's so sweet and adorable. It was nice to catch up with her a bit. Overall for the party I was terrible at talking to other people besides the little group I already knew. That led to not playing as much as I would've liked. Though admittedly, even when I've played 10 times in a night at other events I still always feel like I didn't do everything and talk with everyone that I wanted to. Such is life. So much to do, so little time. Monday left just enough time to get some brunch, say goodbyes, pack, and leave. I managed to not cry when saying goodbye to my friends but it didn't last long. As soon as we were driving away and hitting the freeway, I was in tears. S actually pulled over to find Kleenexes in the trunk. Very sweet.

Being Labor Day we actually didn't have very bad traffic. Made it home in about 6 hours, the same as on the way there. I kind of wish I would've had a buffer day from work to rest and stop crying every 10 minutes, but I had to be back the next morning. That whole week was rough. I don't think I've ever had such a bad drop after a party. I think it was largely due to S being there with me. I've never had a few days away with him before. It was a wonderful fantasy world for 4 days where I got to have a boyfriend all to myself, away from work and stress, and spankos were everywhere. So many people who just get it. Who wouldn't love that? Perhaps I can relive the magical time in 2015.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Shadow Lane 2014- Part 1

I recently attended Shadow Lane for my second time. I first went in 2012 when some of my SCONY friends decided to come out west for it. Vegas is only about a 6 hour drive for me so it's the easiest party for me to get to and who can complain about not having to buy a plane ticket? A few friends from around the country were going to be there, some attending for their first time, and I decided to join them. Plans did change slightly when S told me he'd like to go with me. That was a nice surprise. We've never had a weekend away together before and he's never been around more than 2 spankos at one time before (shout out to you, jenna_kins). It was going to be interesting!

I figured he would love people because spankos are fucking awesome. I mean how could you not like them? But it was a completely new crowd to him, a largely new crowd to me, and two introverts don't make a right. He was kind enough to start off our drive to Vegas with including 'N Sync music on his Spotify playlist for the road. Now that's love. And he did the driving which made my would've-been-cramped legs very appreciative. It was early but that avoided most of the traffic and we arrived around noon. Things had already kicked off for many attendees who had been at the hotel for days and there was a cigar social happening by the pool. I didn't get a chance to make it down since I was rushing to take a shower and change before I went to the newbies party with S.

We got ready, I got a brief belt spanking, and we were off to the suite hosting the newbies event. I'm avoiding all names where I didn't directly talk to the person and get an okay to use their name here or are known publicly in the scene so it's going to be a lot of initials. C & S host the newbies party every year and it's a nice way to start off the weekend and meet a few other new people before meeting a LOT more people. I attended it when I came in 2012 and got a look like ''haven't you been here before?" I said I had been once, but was here with S who has never been to any spanking party. I follow rules, I promise I wasn't crashing. I met DS for the first time who I had been talking with online prior to the party. We chatted with a few people, thanked the hosts, and it was time to go to the room and change AGAIN.


Exhibit A
The next event on the agenda was the Uniformed Top event/costume party being hosted in DL's suite, where much of the weekend was taking place. I read something on FetLife beforehand saying that everyone could dress up, not just tops, and figured I could get another use out of a former Halloween costume. For those not sick to death of seeing me dressed as Wonder Woman, see Exhibit A. For anyone who was there, I was the Wonder Woman mostly sitting off the side not talking to anyone. This would become a prevalent theme. But it was nice to have S with me doing the same thing so I wasn't a complete loner.

I did finally see a familiar face when C came to the suite. We had met the previous time I attended and had plans to play at this one. It was fairly crowded and really, really hot which gave me more reasons to not interact or try to initiate anything. In addition to my usual reason which is I hate having to initiate play. It was fun seeing all the different costumes and uniforms around. There were doctors, a fireman, a beekeeper, and even Tinkerbell. I recognized a few faces from FetLife interaction and the previous party. I played with S and we created an impromptu play space with me bending over a chair. He gave me a hard hand spanking. Wish I would've had a pic taken after. I was nicely pink. His hand has come such a long way. I'm so proud. *sniffle*

We left to go back to our room and passed a couple in the hall. The woman complimented my costume, and I said thanks, then the guy said "Wow, she must be like 6'10''!" as if I wasn't standing right there. Just kept walking. You all know how much I love commentary about my abnormal height, especially from complete strangers, so that was fun. I was still eagerly awaiting a car full of friends from CA who were still stuck in traffic going on 7 hours. I'm glad I came from the Salt Lake direction and not L.A. I changed outfits and S and I got dinner at one of the restaurants in the hotel. That hit the spot after not having eaten since 6 that morning.

Exhibit B
Soon after that it was time for the vendor fair in the ballroom. We checked in and got our name tags and S had his attention go right to the tables selling implements. So many pretty things as you'll see in Exhibit B. He bought a leather strap and leather paddle from Miguel, a favorite paddle maker of Ms. M. The basket woven look of the handles is very unique. Miss Rose was there as the face of Compass Rose Creations and had a beautiful selection. He picked a smaller one in bloodwood and the long one made of morado. He's going to need a bigger toy bag soon. :-)

I found many friends down at the vendor fair. I was surprised to run into NJD who I know from SCONY. I hadn't known he would be there so that was one more familiar face. I caught up with my friend A from Texas. We discussed how our CA friends were still stuck in traffic on their way there. I chatted with Alex Reynolds, Erica Scott, and SpankCake who joked that it was the blogger's circle as we were standing there talking. Alex introduced me to Paul Kennedy who was ever so nice. In thinking back on it, I'm kicking myself for not signing up for the British detention event that occurred throughout the weekend.

I left to head to a scene I had planned with B at his room. We had met at the prior SL and had been planning to play this time. I soon had my skirt up, panties down, and was across his lap on the bed. He warmed me up with his hand as we talked about our drives there and caught up with other goings-on. He had me move to stand and bend over a chair while he used some different leather implements. Then I laid across some pillows on the bed as several leather paddles kept the heat on my bottom going. I ended up across his lap again for a final few swats from his hand. Then we finished with a hug.

I went back to the room to find S relaxing. Not long after, I got a text that my CA friends had finally arrived. Almost 11 hours after leaving L.A. Man, I'm glad I don't live out there. How infuriating that would've been. M came to the room and met S and we chatted for a while. We followed her back to their room not far down the hall from us to greet SY and SNJ. SY had actually visited me in Utah about 2 years ago and met my S, but this was his first time meeting everyone else. They were understandably exhausted after the drive in, but we went to check out some of the suite parties. I think we went to every suite that was listed as open. It was actually really cool that at this party somebody had organized everything on an app called Guidebook. You looked up Shadow Lane and had to have a code and then it would list the main activities, times, and suite numbers that were open to everyone. That made it pretty easy to navigate the party.

We checked out one suite and then went to the next. None of us were great at socializing outside of ourselves, but at least we were present. Lol. Even having been before, I find it really hard to break into a circle of friends standing around talking, much less approaching someone to play. I always feel rude and like I'm interrupting. For other shy introverts like myself, I strongly recommend networking online as much as you can ahead of time because it makes that SO much easier. Especially at a party of this size. I recognized so many faces from online but still felt awkward and didn't approach many people. Even ones who have been on my FetLife friends list for years. I definitely missed Joey. He was there the last time and is such a social and friendly personality. It made it really easy for me to just follow him and get to meet everyone we knew from online. Several others said they missed you too, Joey.

At one of the suites I ran into Nancy and Tom who I know from previous parties. Tom and I went to play in one of the bedrooms. He's always a lot of fun and just has this excited and happy to be there vibe all of the time. I went across his lap and he spanked me with his hand. He has one of those stingy hands which I really like. My bottom was plenty warm and stinging as he'd ramp up the intensity, then slow back down, then repeat. He finished with his signature final ten swats (and HE does the counting. Nice!). We hugged and returned to the party. It was getting late at this point and it had been a long day. S and I said our goodnights and went back to the room to crash. My next post will continue with Saturday. Stay tuned!

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

How To Survive The Community As A Kinky Shy Introvert


I wrote this on Fetlife a few days ago and it's had an overwhelming response after making the Kinky & Popular list. I wanted to share it here as well since some of my blog readers don't frequent Fetlife.

1. You may not want to do it, but do it anyway.

I don't have any secrets or shortcuts to making things easy. It's not easy. Some days it's really fucking hard. Not all introverted people are shy. And not all shy people are introverts. However, I am both. I just won the weirdo lottery I guess. Left handed, spanko, abnormally tall female, shy introvert. Awesome. I'm considered pretty tame by many in the BDSM community, yet would be an outcast and pervert by much of vanilla society's standards.

Talking to people is hard. Putting myself out there is hard. But I do it anyway. (Well, sometimes.) And when I don't do it I know that I only have myself to blame when what I want doesn't happen. You know that quote, "you are not a beautiful and unique snowflake." There are people coming in and out of this community every day. There's nothing about me that will stand out over any other person. Not unless I do something to make people notice me.

It's easier to say "well nobody talked to me there" than to put it on myself to talk to them. It's easier to just stay home than to deal with a big crowd of people where I may have to sit next to, or god forbid talk to, a stranger. I have a hard time finding play partners locally. It's easier to just not play than to have to do the dreaded asking and risk rejection. Easier, yes. Getting me anywhere? No.

For over a year and a half of attending things in the local community I avoided a certain group because you have to stand and say your name for introductions in every class. And do it again should you want to say anything during the class. That probably sounds like a completely ridiculous thing to try so hard to avoid. But I hated the sound of it. And I still hate it. But I go and do it anyway because it's silly to miss out on seeing people and learning things just because of that. Though I do rebel by never asking a question because I don't want to have to do it more than once per class.

I see so many new people posting on here saying they are interested in kink but the pathway to the community by way of munches stops them from getting involved. They are shy. They are socially awkward. They fear being stuck in the middle of a big crowd of strangers with nothing to say. I hear you, people. You are not alone. There are so many of us out here that are the same way. The "fake it til you make it" method is being used ALL the time.

I wish I could say it gets easier, but it may not. Each day can present a new struggle that you just have to push yourself past. Some days you may not be able to do it. But the next day you may. There are still events I'm more likely to attend because I know some of the people there a little better as opposed to the other thing happening on the same day where I'd be alone. I still feel awkward trying to break into a circle of friends to say hello. My heart still thumps when I raise my hand to tell a joke that I hope hits the mark and is worth the anxiety of standing in front of everyone. I do it anyway.

Friday, August 29, 2014

Rocky Mountain Rebellion

Two weeks ago, I attended my first ever leather conference held right here in my hometown of Salt Lake City, Utah. Formerly named Rocky Mountain Olympus Leather since it's inception in 2010, it is now renamed the Rocky Mountain Rebellion. It involves 3 days of classes and workshops from a variety of presenters, vendor fairs, play parties, and a leather title contest. Oh and of course lots of kinky people! In the cons column, it does not include much time to sleep. Lol.

I haven't attended the event in past years so didn't really know what to expect. I wasn't originally planning on going but got to thinking about it and figured if I wanted to see what a leather event of this scale was like it was most logical (and cost effective) to try out the one in my own city first. And certain people were so excited about it that it was a bit contagious. I also ended up volunteering. Yeah, she was that good.

Things started off early Friday when I arrived to do a security shift at the host hotel. Vendors were setting up, classes would be starting in a few hours. If you checked in that day, I was the one sitting there in the horrific greenish neon shirt making sure you had your badge on. It was a tough job but someone had to do it. This is actually the first event of it's kind in Utah to be held at a hotel. Being kinky in Utah comes with it's own hardships and requires being careful with local laws and venue limitations. I think things at the hotel turned out fantastic. The hotel staff was always nice and helpful and the RMR staff and volunteers kept things running smoothly.

I didn't make it to any of the classes on that day by the time I was done with security and then pulled in to a quest to find a Starbucks. I went back home to have dinner and get ready to go to the party that night with S. I kept hearing someone's voice in my head repeating how it's very beneficial to stay at the hotel so you didn't miss out on things. Yeah, they were right. The constant driving back and forth got annoying fast. S picked me up and we went to that night's party. Many of the people I normally play with were busy themselves running around volunteering and setting things up. There was a cigar social going on outside for all those who enjoy cigars and socializing. I was trying to keep from getting more mosquito bites. More on that later.

S and I found a place to play and got set up on one of the spanking benches. I wore an army green button down dress and was a redhead for the night. I don't have any pictures though because I'm a good girl and followed the rules of no phones/cameras for the privacy of all attendees. So no post spanking pics from this event. :-( S had some new toys he got shortly before this event that I mentioned in my birthday spankings post. He had a mini sjambok that stings like hell that he used for a bit. Several other things from his bag got some use including a long, thin strap and a delrin cane. The result of that on my bottom wasn't quite the hue of the hair but I was left with a nice afterglow.

Saturday morning I was back at the hotel for another security shift. I learned from the previous day so made sure to have my coffee and McMuffin on the way there. I was able to make it to the afternoon classes. I went to "Blaise Wrap: Cling Play/Polyvinyl Suspensions" taught by Simon Blaise. He taught about bondage and suspensions using cling wrap as a safer alternative to rope. The demo was really cool to watch and the end result being all wrapped up in blue was pretty, too. I also went to "Magical Tops, Fighter Pilot Bottoms" taught by Master Konraad and slave jazz. I enjoyed watching their dynamic together and they were funny too. This class got into sub space, slight of mind, and some psychological "tricks" to get your partner into the headspace you want for your scene.

There was a break for dinner and then at 7 was the contest. I've never attended one before and it was very interesting. This year was special in that they were introducing a completely new format of the titleholder contest. Previously there would be a competition for Mr. RMOL and a Ms. RMOL. This year was the first Rocky Mountain Person of Leather contest. From their website- "Each year, a single Rocky Mountain Person of Leather will be selected not based on race, gender-identity, sexual-orientation, physical appearance, age, or disability, but rather on their ability to articulate their views, passions, and dedications and to make an impact in their communities. We will expect these People of Leather to act as mentors, educators, role models and spokespeople throughout their title year."

As the event's producer Andrew Love would say, it's kind of a big deal. It is the first contest of it's kind to have an open to everyone format with one winner. The contest was fun to watch. If you have no idea what a leather titleholder contest is like, imagine Miss America minus the swimsuit portion and misogyny. There was a panel of judges and two contestants this year- John G. and Simon/Alexandria Blaise. Each had a portion where they had to answer questions, one sillier and one serious. They both had to auction off items for travel funds that are used throughout the titleholder year. Each gave a speech. And the last category is the fantasy scene portion. Both were very entertaining to watch but I won't give away all the secrets here. If you want to know what it's like, come next year. :-) At the end of the contest, Simon/Alexandria Blaise was announced the winner and the first ever Rocky Mountain Person of Leather. Sin in the City is a leather event in Las Vegas coming up at the end of February and will host the International Person of Leather contest.

After the contest concluded I headed over to the party. S and I found a spot to play at the beginning of the night. He brought his new flogger this time and tried that out. It's a bit whippier than other floggers he has so produced a lot of sting. But that's not a complaint. And it's red and pretty. I waited far too long to write this post so the order of toys used is alluding me. But there were many mostly stingy things. One thing I'd been hoping for in that past 2 days was a nap scene. Unfortunately for me, most of the furniture was outside from the cigar social. I did nab a spot on the couch and managed to take a nap. And I got eaten alive by fucking mosquitoes. I had one other scene with someone whose name also starts with S but not the S I previously mentioned. I'll have to think of an anonymous nickname for him later. A variety of toys was also used in that scene including some stingy wooden things and a metal lollipop paddle. By the time I got home around 4 am, I still had a nicely roasted bottom.


Due to the lateness of the previous night, I didn't make it to the last few classes on Sunday morning. There was one presenter I really wanted to see too. Maybe next time. I helped set up the final after party for Sunday afternoon and hung around there for a while at their BBQ. I was pretty fucking tired at that point. I can only imagine how the people who ran the event were feeling. I said my goodbyes and drove home for the final time that weekend. I was really hoping someone would show up at my door with a Slurpee but nobody did. Woh woh. It was a hot weekend. Oh and this picture on the right is just ONE mosquito bite. This is why I don't go outside. I ended up with 8 of those on my arms, legs, and feet. Stupid flip flops. And that is my recap for the event! It was an overall good experience. Thank you to all the organizers and staff and people who made it happen! It takes so much time and energy to put on something like this and it really shows their love for the community. If you'd like to know more about this and related events, check out these links.

Rocky Mountain Rebellion website
Rocky Mountain Rebellion Fetlife group 
International Person of Leather
Sin in the City
Beyond Vanilla- hosting the Heartland Person of Leather contest

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

My 29th Birthday: A Group Spanking

I turned 29 on Sunday. I have one year of life left before becoming irrelevant. Next year's birthday is going to suck. But this one was great! I had a very busy week and weekend. I got some quality time with some of my favorite people throughout the week and lots of spankings. What more can a girl (and a spanko girl at that) ask for? Okay, a million dollars would've been nice. But spankings are a great runner up!

I was happy to have a new and special belt broken in on me. Maybe that can be repeated sometime without waiting for my next birthday. Hint to the belt's owner should he be reading this. :-) That was fun. I love belts if I haven't mentioned that recently. On Friday I went out with S to one of my favorite restaurants. He was nice enough to bare through it despite the huge weekend crowd and noise level of the place making it so we had to yell at each other across the table. But the food was good as always. And I'm loving this new beer by Schofferhofer. It's a grapefruit hefeweizen. I know, I know. That sounds absolutely disgusting, right? Grapefruit flavored beer? Really? But it's so good. Give it a try. Very refreshing for the summer.

On Saturday I went out to lunch to another favorite place with my parents. Traveling 80 miles for a lunch destination would seem crazy if not for the special occasion. After my food coma, I still had plenty of time to get ready for the second annual Sexy Olympics party that evening for members of NLA-U. Making this party even greater was that my birthday would hit at midnight so birthday spankings were certainly in the plans. S and I slipped away for some private time to play earlier in the night. He recently got some new toys from CANE-IAC including this flogger and a sjambok jr. He may have had me in mind when ordering because they fucking STING!

The flogger can be used nicely and he warmed me up with it a bit, rotating between that and his hand. But when he really gets going with using it then it got quite stingy. Why are you complaining about sting, Lea? Didn't you say you like sting? "Like" is relative. I do prefer sting to thud. The sjambok on the other hand does not have a nice mode. I don't think it took much effort or force on his part to have me squirming off the spanking bench. It packs in the sting and CANE-IAC's product description is quite accurate. He didn't go too hard on me though knowing I still had my after midnight spanking coming. My bottom was a nice shade of pink and I got some cuddling time after.


We went outside after to observe some of the Olympic games taking place. There was a relay race, some very slippery lube wrestling matches, and a naked Twister game. Several people were awarded medals as winners of the Sexy Olympic Games. Bruce Jenner was not present. I snacked on some Greek food and caught up with friends before DM'ing for an hour. And there was delicious chocolate Costco cake. More on that later. I have never actually been at a kinky party ON my birthday before so this was a new experience. I had also never had this many people involved in a spanking though I've been co-topped on a few occasions. A while after midnight some helpful volunteers were rounded up as I bent over the ottoman in the living room. I considered being 129 but seeing all the implements they brought with them, I opted to stick with the 29. 

I honestly lost track of how many people were behind me aided with an implement and a smile. There were at least 10 because I decided on two swats from each person. S started it off with two. Then the next person gave two with a quirt. Then there were two with a paddle. Then two with what looked like a boat oar. Two with a pair of round wooden sticks. Two with a pair of acrylic ruler looking things. A few pairs of hands. Some people were nicer than others. :-P I kept the count out loud throughout. It got up to 26 and we'd run through the line of people. S provided the final three. There was no singing of happy birthday but how coordinated can you expect a top to be? Singing and hitting at the same time? Come on. So that was the end of my first group birthday spanking. Sort of. On the way out, I realized D had been occupied elsewhere during the festivities and had mentioned earlier about bringing a full size cricket bat just for me. People are just so thoughtful in this community. Ha! She provided one final swat with the cricket bat which I believe counts for the one to grow on. I was much redder than these pictures depict.

That was the end of the party for me. But Sunday brought brunch and a birthday spanking just from S. Later that evening I had a family party which involved a nearly identical Costco cake to the one NLA had. It is now taking up half of my fridge and I Googled earlier how to properly freeze cake. There is no way it'll be gone in the next few days before I go out of town. At work today, guess what someone brought in? Another Costco cake. Lol. I have cake coming out of my ears. I left that one at the office and I'm sure there will be no complaints from the night staff. I received many happy birthday wishes from friends and family between Facebook, texts, a few phone calls, and even a real card from my Jersey mom K. <3 Thank you to everyone who remembered and helped make my birthday special. And if you didn't, you are now dead to me. Kidding! Or am I? :-P

Thursday, August 7, 2014

That Tricky Label Thing


This is cross-posted from my FetLife page after some recent musings about the labels we use in TTWD.

Welcome to Fetlife! Now set up this profile!

Gender- Female (I realize that this very first option is just as difficult as the rest of these for some.)

Sexual Orientation- Straight. Usually. Straight but sometimes enjoying female fun with the right
female? Heteroflexible. Is that what that means? Urban Dictionary is down. Shit. Fluctuating/Evolving? That leaves too big of a question mark. I'll just go with straight.

Role- Administrative secretary. Oh, this means role in a scene. This one is easy. Bottom. What are the other options? I'm definitely not a Domme. I don't top anyone so switch wouldn't apply. Unless that counts in the bedroom where I sometimes enjoy being in control. Hmm. Masochist? Hell no! I'm a pain wuss. But does it only mean in the physical sense? I have stayed in a job I hate for 9 years.

Submissive or slave? Ehh... With certain people those traits are stronger. I don't want to open the door to the "Oh you're a sub? Then do as I say!" Domly Dom internet strangers. kajira/kajirus? Fucking Urban Dictionary is still down. Brat? Sometimes. Primal? I don't like steak. Vanilla? Only with chocolate syrup added. Fetishist, yes. Kinkster, yes. Let's go back to bottom.

How Active Are You- This is getting kind of personal, isn't it? I mean yeah, I spend a lot of time on the couch. But who doesn't enjoy marathoning seasons of their current obsession on Netflix? I Live The Lifestyle When I Can. Sure, that can apply to exercise and to kink.

Looking For- Someone to play with, check. Friendship, check. Events, check. A relationship? Maybe if the right person came along. But is advertising that opening the door to more douchebaggery in my inbox? Let's skip that. A Master? Mentor? Ehh. Same as above.

Location- I'm not in a tiny town where I'm concerned that internet creepers could stalk me so will go with my actual city.

Age- Still young enough not to lie about it.

Done! Wait, now I have to write about myself? I suck at that! Okay, think. A short summary that will catch the attention of those whose attention I want to catch. Not many people read these things so short is key. Can I tell everything somewhat interesting and/or important about myself in 4 paragraphs? Of course not. But I need to move on to the next section.

Relationships In- There aren't many so that's easy. And throw Peeps in a few times because I find it funny. Done. Websites- Included the blog address. Upload a new picture- About 100 of my ass and 1 of my breasts for good measure.
I'm finished!

Well, not really. That was just a basic setup of a Fetlife profile. We've all had to fit ourselves into labels for our entire lives. Pick an orientation, a political party, a college major, a career title, a religion. Don't have one? You'll be given one. Now you're an atheist and probably an asshole about it. Pick up your T-shirt at the next meeting. http://www.pinterest.com/pin/572590540096928380/

Relationship status? That's a deep pool to swim in. If you don't fit the M/F monogamous relationship mold then get used to over-explaining those dynamics for the rest of your life. Even if you do fit that, someone is bound to stick their nose in your business of what you do in your bedroom and why.

Role in the kink scene? That's a tricky one. You may play different roles with different people. This is something I contemplate a lot and got me thinking about this whole subject of labels. From the beginning of becoming involved in the scene I was firm about saying I'm a bottom. Just a bottom. Bottom vs submissive was a label struggle that only really existed in my own mind.

Why? Partly because I don't like the negative stereotypes that too often come with the label of submissive, and even slave. That it means you can't think for yourself so need someone to tell you what to do. That you're weak or less than. Do I think those things are true? Absolutely not. I know many very strong people in the community and in life who identify as an s type. So why do I even care what the naysayers think about it?

A friend recently asked me how I felt about being in service to someone. I replied that I'm not sure I completely know what that even means. What I got from the ensuing conversation is that it means whatever you want it to mean. If you poll 10 kinky people about the definition of just about anything, you are likely to get 10 different definitions back. None are particularly right or wrong except to those individuals.

I understand the purpose of having labels. They can help narrow things down from a zillion options. But most of us don't fit into one box. And that's perfectly fine. I still have more questions than answers. Do I always know what to call myself? No. I can explain it but it may take a while. I do know how I feel and who I love. I know who/what they are to me and who/what I am to them. That's the part that I think matters. Labels are for soup cans, after all.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Why Bother If There's No Sex?


I know that my blog has a somewhat different audience than those I interact with regularly on FetLife so I'm cross-posting this. 

Recently this post by @munchkin went K&P: What "no sex" doesn't mean

The basic idea I got from it was not that spanking + sex is wrong in any way, but that people who agree to limits in advance should stick to those and not to try and sneak something in during or afterwards. I agree wholeheartedly. I didn't want to hijack her post so am putting some of my thoughts here that were brought up from reading it and the comments.
Comments to the effect of "silly women thinking they can dangle a piece of meat in front of a dog's mouth and not get bitten." Oh silly me! When I negotiated for a spanking I really wanted to be sexually assaulted, right? Comments suggesting that one should reconsider participating in an arousing act with someone they don't want responding in an aroused manner, because spanking is always sexual for everyone, yes?
Sigh. If you want spanking mixed with sex, cool. If you like to keep the two completely separate, cool. If spanking isn't even on your fetish list, cool. The "is spanking sexual" debate comes up over and over and over and OVER again. I'm in the "it depends" camp. What starts to bug me is when people talk in absolutes. The comments of "why would you even bother if there's no sex?" That is what I'll address here.
Why bother with spanking? Here are some reasons, speaking only for myself.
-Because I'm a spanko
-Because it fulfills a desire/need that has been with me my entire life
-Power exchange
-Stress relief
-Emotional release
-Discipline
-Birthdays!
-Because it's just a lot of fun!
-Bonding with a top/partner
-Fantasy exploration and fulfillment
Can it be hot? Hell yes! Some of my greatest orgasms have followed a good spanking. But for me, it doesn't have to be a means to an end. It's a main course. It satisfies me, sometimes physically, but more times emotionally and psychologically. The bond between play partners is just fucking awesome. It's a special connection. It can be hard to describe. It doesn't have to be about the sexual energy. (But if that's there too, cool!)

I'd imagine others into rope play or wax play or fill in the blank may be able to relate to some of the above things, even if spanking is not their great love. These are my own reasons. I know what works for me. You know what works for you. You don't have to like what I like and vice versa. That's why there's negotiation. If someone doesn't enjoy spanking then I wouldn't even want to play with them. If I've gotta have a, b, and c, and you only like x, y, and z then we aren't compatible play partners. And that's okay.
I've got a popular ass and plenty more people I can go see. No need to vilify each other for what we want. So is spanking sexual? Yes? No? Let's agree to disagree. I hope that maybe this can give some perspective to those who wonder "why bother?" If they're still scratching their heads, that's okay. I don't need to convince you that you should like what I like. But don't tell me that I'm doing it wrong because we see things differently. I am the one who knows what works for me.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Changes


Recently my would've been 7th anniversary passed by. 7 years from my wedding on that popular date of 07-07-07. Has it really been that long?  In some ways it feels like a lifetime ago, in others almost as if it were last week. So much has changed. Change. It's always been a four letter word to me. Something that I typically dread, but an inevitable entity. I like things to all be neatly wrapped and defined. I want to see all the ins and outs and know the end goal and that it's achievable. That gives me comfort and the motivation to try. I avoid sticking my feet into murky waters when I can stay safely on the shore while watching others swim.

But that's not how life is, is it? There are not many things that are clear and defined. Certainly not where people are involved. People are eager but fickle, loving but hurtful, always changing and growing. Sometimes that growing brings us closer and sometimes it pulls us apart. What would I tell that girl about to walk down the aisle 7 years ago? Don't do it? Give yourself more time to get to know YOU? Damn, the paycheck changes when switching taxes back to single is fucking killer? I probably wouldn't tell her anything. She didn't choose wrong. She chose to go down a path that worked for that particular time in her life.

Everything makes me who I am now. The good and bad experiences and memories, the lessons learned. Sometimes I like that person and sometimes I don't. There are times I wonder if my life would've been a whole lot easier if I stayed on a traditional path. I'm approaching my 29th birthday soon. Then next year will be 30. That dreaded year of reflection and what if's. Would I be happy if I'd stayed a good Mormon girl and been a wife and mother? If I'd followed the overwhelming local culture and done what was wanted and accepted? Ugh, kids. At least I've done one thing right.

Now I find myself in relationships that are much more complicated than I'd ever dealt with in that long ago vanilla life. I question my place in them more often. The secrecy remains one of the most difficult parts about polyamory. I'm not quite as dramatic as the "shout it from the rooftops" types, but it's hard to not be able to share with others in your life about someone you love so much. Secrets and lies because it's not conventional or accepted. That part doesn't get any easier. 

On the plus side, my relationships have different rewards. I am far from perfect, but the nature of things has made me learn to be much better at communicating. My personality is the type to hold things in and I don't think I do that as much anymore. I can't or I would eventually implode and take those around me down with me. I realize now more than ever before that I find a lot of joy in caring for others and making my partner happy. Not too long ago, a friend said that I'm someone who knows what she wants. I don't always agree, but I think I'm getting better at it.

Do I know what I want? That really depends on context. In short term immediate goals, sure. I'm a spanko. I want a spanking. See, that was easy. In the scene I still feel that I don't have a firm place. I love my spanko friends and I wish I was closer to all of them. I'm glad we have technology at our fingertips that makes it easier to stay in touch and biannual spanking weekends for in person contact. Locally, still a question mark. I've been fairly active in my local community for a few years now. I served on the board of a group for a whole year. I go to various munches and parties and gatherings. Sometimes I feel like the more involved I try to be, the more disconnected I feel.

I'm not sure why that is. Maybe it's seeing what I perceive as such close friendships and relationships and not feeling like I have that here. I'm kind of a loner and an introverted personality to begin with.  It feels like an unreachable bond when being around those who have built that up with each other for years and years. Maybe I am asking the wrong questions. Instead of wondering "why don't I fit in?" or "How can I belong like that person?", I should ask "How can I show others how awesome I am so that they don't miss out?" If I keep thinking that then it could become true, right?  Sometimes things hit me, like this passing anniversary date, and I needed a chance to think and cry and write and mourn what I thought my life would be. I know I do have love in my life. I know that I have friendships, albeit many long distance. I am grateful for that and for all those who have stuck by me through the changes. <3

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

30 Things You Don't Want To Hear At A Spanking Party


I always send out a 30 day countdown leading up to the SCONY mountain weekend. The theme for it this year was things you don't want to hear at a spanking party. Some you may have personally heard before. Feel free to share that story. :-) Enjoy!

30 Things You Don't Want To Hear At A Spanking Party

30. Oops!
I'm sure this will end well.
29. I've never done this before, but how hard can it be?
Spanking needs skill? Fuggedaboutit.
28. Nice sandals. When is the last time you ever cut your toenails?
When over your lap, we notice your feet. Just sayin'.
27. SPIDER!!
Self explanatory.
26. I can't find Jayson!
It's never good if we lose the manager of our party location.
25. What rules? What website?
You mean there are rules and protocols to understand and I can't just sign up last minute, show up, and expect complete strangers to play with me? Pfft.
24. Has anyone ever thrown up on you from anxiety before?
I actually posed this question to a top before my first spanking party. I was nervous! He said no, but if it happened he'd deal with it.
23. I hear a lot of percussion at this party but no singing yet. This IS the Singing Club of New York, right??
Oh we sing. In our own screaming melody. >:)
22. I don't want to alarm you but there is something wrong with your butt. It's got a crack in it. Hah!
We've heard ALL the jokes. Really.
21. What do you mean by "consent?"
Think back to your kindergarten days. Don't touch what isn't yours.
20. I'm on a bean and cabbage diet.
'Nuff said.
19. Can you wrap this up soon? I have play planned with Top XYZ in a few minutes.
Don't be a buzzkill and give yourself enough time if agreeing to play.
18. We regret to inform you that there is a statewide champagne shortage so we can't make any Mimosas.
Because Mimosas.
17. Where are the kidneys again?
Maybe a basic anatomy diagram should be included with party materials.
16. You're not a top? I bet I could make you want to top me.
Bet you couldn't!
15. Just so you know, there IS indoor plumbing here. Showers and everything.
Shower.
14. I don't know the words to the Alma Mater!
Shh. Just mouth "watermelon" when the rest of us sing.
13. Is that blood?
I sure hope not!
12. Oh, I hope it's okay that I don't have any feeling in my hand... little accident years back.
Hmm... as long as you have some leather and not just wood I think we can work it out.
11. Don't worry, the doctor said it's not contagious anymore.
Do you have that in a written doctor's note?
10. Yes, I'll play with you. But first I'll need you to sign here, here, here, and here. Actually, we'll have to play tomorrow. It's too late to get this to a notary tonight. Where are you going?
The Over-negotiator. Don't we love them?
9. Limits and preferences? I thought you were supposed to be a sub.
Maybe we should revisit #16 because I'm more in the mood to hit you now.
8. It's time to introduce you to the FES.
That's the Flesh Eating Strap for any who haven't had the pleasure.
7. There's been a mix up and rooms are overbooked. It's alright, we'll set you up with a sleeping bag in Room 10.
A reference to a room reserved for discipline throughout the weekend. Some probably wouldn't mind. ;-)
6. We regret to inform you that the spanking party has been canceled due to good behavior.
An unlikely story.
5. Hi, I'm Tom Ryder
Author's Note: He's a great man with a wonderful sense of humor so surely didn't mind this joke. Um, yeah.
4. When does the swinging portion of the party start?
A few of us have met the "when do we pair off for sex?" guy. I'm glad it was just once.
3. What do you mean you don't wear a belt??
I personally find this very upsetting as it's one of my favorite implements.
2. Is that a paddle in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Take it as a compliment that I said paddle and not cane.
1. You may think you're into spanking, but it's really just a gateway, man.
Oh of course. What kind of weirdos like "just" spanking?

That's the close of the spring countdown! If you have any good ideas for a theme for my fall weekend, please share!

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Leather & Lace


A few weeks ago, NLA-U had their annual formal members only party. The members parties are always a lot of fun and they really go all out. This was also my last party as a board member of NLA-U as the year term was coming to a close. Anyone who has been involved in running a group, helping out, and volunteering knows the immense amount of work it takes. I've always appreciated the people who give their time, effort, money, and even open their homes so the rest of us can have a group and somewhere to host it. Even more so now that I've been behind the scenes to see how much it takes to keep things going.

 
The theme for this party was Leather & Lace. These are some pictures of the end result of a lot of decorating.


Everything looked fabulous. There was a very nice spread for food, even if we didn't get to have the fun of coming up with punny 80's references this time. ;-) I was in charge of dessert and had an idea for a cake and getting leather and lace related images screenprinted onto it. I got quite a look from the person at the bakery explaining what I wanted and giving her images of leather boots and a corset. Lol. But I think it turned out nicely and tasted great too!


There was a space set up at the beginning of the party where people could get their picture taken while they were all dressed up. I was able to get a rare pic of me and S. I got a new dress for this party that has a black lace back and a burgundy front. This is me here. I'm packing this dress with me for my SCONY trip tomorrow to get another use out of it. This can work for a Kentucky Derby theme, right? Err... I don't do hats.


So that was the look of things. But what about spankings? That's what we're all here for, right? :-) S and I went downstairs to find an open space. I laid on a massage table with my dress raised as he surveyed his toy bag. He almost needs multiple toy bags for each party now. Too much stuff. He really should get rid of some of them, like anything wood or that awful rubber thing. :-P Nobody wants that. 

He spanked me with his hand for a warm up and moved on to some of the other things in his bag. He rotated through a few different straps and canes that had me squirming on the table. Everything was stingy. Me- "It's stingy!" moving from side to side. Him- "But you like stingy" continuing the spanking. Me- "Well... sometimes... but it's stingy!" We may have had this conversation before. Bottoms are just so difficult, aren't we?


 After my bottom was reddened, well warmed, and stinging, we were at our stopping point. I got a little cuddling time and then took a few pics. The lighting wasn't great for showing the red but you can see a few of the vertical cane marks there. It is probably no surprise to anyone reading this that any night ending with me getting spanked is a pretty good night for me. :-) I'd call this one a success!

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Happy Peepster 2014!


My internet decided not to work all day until now so this Easter greeting is more belated than I planned.

Today is Easter! This is one of my favorite times of the year because people are often thinking of me. And why is that? Because they see Peeps! Everywhere! Dunkin Donuts has recently gotten into the spring spirit with this adorable limited time donut.
I've received links to many articles lately featuring Peeps. 



The annual diorama contest held by the Washington Post has just finished up. This year's winner takes Peeps back in history to Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have A Dream" speech.



One of the finalists created this take on Everybody Poops titled "Everybody Peeps." Now you know where marshmallow creme comes from!


I recently gave centerPeeps making another try. If you take a look at Pinterest you'll find many versions of this idea.


So remember, there is always a use for Peeps! Even if you don't like to eat them or roast them, the possibilities are endless.


Or you can always send them to me. :-) I'll add them to the pile.



I hope you all enjoyed your Easter whether that included any celebration, Peeps, or just a nice weekend day to sleep in.



Saturday, February 15, 2014

It's Like Totally 80's!

A few weekends ago, NLA-U hosted an 80's themed play party. Being a board member I was involved in the party planning. One of the most fun parts was coming up with ideas for punny 80's references. S was very good at this as well. It would have had to be a 200 person buffet line to fit them all in and I was certainly not going to cook, but I thought these deserved an honorable mention.

Fleetwood Mac'n'cheese
Mozzarella Styx
CHiPs and salsa
Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Likes Baby Back Ribs
Bon Jovi hoagies
Hall and Oatmeal cookies
Sweet Dreams are Made of Swiss (cheese and cracker platter)
Tootsie (pops)
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Legumes
Caddysnacks
Truffle shuffle truffles
Purple Rain-bow pops

Drinks: Growing Pains-a colada
Like a Virgin daiquiri
Girls Just Want To Have Rum
Welcome To The Jungle Juice
Beverly Hills Pop
Beetle-juice

Veggie options: Saved By The Bell peppers
Carrot Styx
Total Eclipse of the Artichoke Heart
New Kids on the Broc-coli
Cauliflowers in the Attic

Thought up for SY, who loves Rush:
Tom Slawyer (cole slaw)
Fly By Night brownie bites
Neil Peart dessert

You can see how thinking these up can be fun. Come up with your own 80's food item and share in the comments!

These made the cut and were served at the party:

Lil Smokies and the Bandit II
As You Wish sandwiches
Space (meat) balls
Adam Ants on a log
Totally Tubular pasta salad
Pretty in Pink cookies
Brown rice and cocaine (no cocaine was served)
TaB and throwback sodas
In Your Deviled Eyes (deviled eggs)
99 red velvet cake balls
She's My Cherry Pie
Tango and Cash-ews

I'm getting hungry just writing this. Lol. Awesome food names aside, there were plenty of 80's outfits around from Madonna-esque stacks of bangles and leather jackets to neon colored tops and leggings. And big hair of course. I don't own any 80's clothes and had this same problem when SCONY had the same theme a while back. I did save my snap bracelet from that party to wear again and clipped some pink extensions into my hair. For anyone who still doesn't know who I am, I was checking your ID's at the door for the first two hours of the night. *waves* Fortunately there was some time left for spankings.


You didn't think this post was going to be all about food, did you? :-D T and I went downstairs to play. He had recently acquired a new implement that looked like a long thinner leather strap on a wooden handle. Apparently it is called a rebenque. I love belts and straps so was happy to try it out. It was fairly whippy, had some sting to it which I like. He also spanked me with a wooden spoon-like thing (which I consider more of a paddle), a cane, and his hand. I was very squirmy throughout the spanking and left with a well warmed bottom. It was remarked that you could probably fry an egg on it. We didn't try though so I can't comment on the practicality of that.

I was DM for an hour and then at the very end of the night found a space to play with S. I laid down on a massage table thinking he would be somewhat nice to my already sore bottom, but he wasn't. >:(  It's like he thinks I enjoyed being pushed or something. He started spanking me with his hand to warm me up and had his case of toys nearby. He cycled through some straps, canes, a leather paddle, and I'm not certain what else. He owns a lot of things. Your collection grows when you start seeing a spanko. I somehow managed to not wriggle off the table and fall to the floor. He kept one arm across my back to keep me in place. Details blurred a bit but I was well attended to and left happy. I'd say it was a successful party!

Friday, February 7, 2014

Ode To James Spader


Happy birthday to James Spader! He is 54 today. What should you do in honor of James Spader's birthday? Cuddle up and watch Pretty In Pink tonight. Have some sex, tell some lies, and watch some videotape. Catch up on The Black List on your DVR because it's so good. Have a dinner of one scoop of creamed potatoes, a slice of butter, four peas, and all the ice cream you can eat. Or my personal favorite- give or get a spanking while watching Secretary. That's what I plan to do. Below I'm reposting an older post of mine about why I love James Spader and the movie Secretary.
 


Okay so this is a spanko blog, you can see where this is going. For anyone who hasn't watched the movie Secretary, why are you still sitting there reading this? Go rent it, now! Alright, that's as toppy as I'll get. I've always been a fan of James Spader. From the unlikeable pretty boy Steff in Pretty in Pink to the over the top nerdy Mr. Richards in Mannequin.






Sex Lies and Videotape, White Palace, Crash. He's clearly an actor who likes to keep off the beaten path. I was an avid fan of The Practice and have every season of Boston Legal on DVD. But it was after watching Secretary that James Spader earned a special place in my heart.










Secretary came out in 2002 and although I reside in the home state of the Sundance film festival, I didn't see it until several years later. I don't recall why it came up, but a coworker who was an independent film buff mentioned it. I went and got myself a copy and watched it many times. I always hid the DVD in my computer desk drawer, as if someone seeing I owned it would immediately out me as a spanko. Lol. But at the time, I had not come out into the lifestyle yet, didn't know there was a lifestyle. One thing I did know was that the first spanking appears 49 minutes into the film. Seem a little exact? Go look it up. I've watched that scene a few times. ;-)


Secretary is about much more than spanking, of course. The dynamic between Edward and Lee's characters, played wonderfully by Maggie Gyllenhaal, is fascinating to watch. In more mainstream media, it seems that any characters into kink get portrayed as freaks. The Killer Inside Me, anyone? This movie is the only one I've seen that seems to give a more accurate perspective of how these characters think and feel and that they are otherwise "normal" people.


I don't know what a vanilla person's perspective on this movie would be since I'm spanko minded, but I always notice the little details when watching this. How she intertwines her fingers with his after he first spanks her. The look on her face when she goes to look at her freshly spanked bottom in the mirror. His quiet but firm tone of voice. Her happiness at eating four peas as her family looks on in awe. Her cunning delight when she finally gets called into his office again after the worm incident.



In the overall picture of the movie, the spanking parts are brief. But the relationships between these characters is what pulls me in. And there are so many things that I can relate to. Upon seeing the part where she swats herself with the brush, I thought other people have done that? Lol. The scene where Lee is making out with her boyfriend and tries to place his hand on her bottom but he keeps moving it up to her back. Then she even lays across his lap sticking her bottom up high which just makes him think she wants to have sex. That always makes me laugh.


Am I personally into everything that they do in the movie? No. Please don't tie me to a stove and throw tomatoes at me. But this kinky love story will always remain a favorite. So much so that I even borrowed her name as my own scene name. Gasp. Yep, the cat is out of the bag, my name's not actually Lea. And don't even start with me on how I spelled it wrong... Lol. As for James Spader, I'm glad that he can delve into the unusual roles. E. Edward Grey will always be my favorite. And now, some memorable lines.



E. Edward Grey: Look, we can't do this 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Lee: Why not?

God, I love this movie.