English-To-Spanko Dictionary

As a spanko, almost everything has a double meaning to me. Seemingly innocent things that are said in the vanilla world, phrases, song lyrics, even Christmas carols have all lost their innocence. Lol. I can hear or see something and almost always put a kinky twist on it in my mind. I think someone should contact the Webster's people so they can create a special edition dictionary for all those who are spanko-minded. It could be quite helpful, especially to those new to the world of spanking.

I'll define a few phrases. Note: This is all my own perception and may not be true for everyone.

English: A top says, "We'll discuss this later."
Spanko: "Your backside is going to pay for this later."

English: A top replies, "Really???"
Spanko: "You are sooo asking for it."

English: A top says, "It is what it is."
Spanko: "There's no way you're getting out of this one."

English: A top replies to your good intentions, "It won't help, but it can't hurt either."
Spanko: "Oh it WILL hurt later..."

English: A top says, "Go in the other room and wait for me."
Spanko: "Enjoy sitting down while you still can."

English: A top says, "Come here, young lady."
Spanko: "I'm about to make your bottom match those red panties."

English: A top says, "I'm waiting..."
Spanko: "It doesn't matter how you reply to this, you are so dead."

English: A top says, "There is no fair here."
Spanko: "Save your breath, you're in for it now."

A lot of these have the same outcome, don't they? Lol.

English: In reply to being asked to do something, a bottom says, "Why don't you do it yourself?"
Spanko: "I'm so overdue for a spanking."

English: A bottom replies, "Make me!"
Spanko: "Pull me over your knee, now!"

English: A bottom says, "I've been so stressed out this week."
Spanko: "Are you going to spank me already or do I have to ask??"

English: insert generally bratty comment here.
Spanko: "I really need a spanking."

English: A top says, "(Your name here) = toast."
Spanko: "(Your name here) = toast."

English: A top says, "Go get me your hairbrush, young lady."
Spanko: "Go get me your hairbrush, young lady."

Well, not everything is so subtle. Use some common sense, people. ;-)

Some friends started a discussion about the spanko meaning of various acronyms. I'll share some here that I found quite funny.

NASCAR:
Need
A
Spanking
Cuddle
And
Restriction





SWIM:
Spanking
Weekend
In the
Mountains

  NASA:

Need

A      

     Spanking

 Always

FBI:

Flaming

Bottoms

Incorporated

                                                                           CIA:

                                                                           Caners

                                                                           Interrogating

                                                                           Agency

BBB:
Bottoms
Behaving
Badly

                                                                        FDA:
                                                                        Firm
                                                                        Discipline
                                                                        Applied

Here's a few of my own.

BYOB: no, it doesn't mean to bring drinks for that spanking party.

Block

Your

Own

Butt

Bottom:

Blameless

Obedient

Truthful

Terrific

Observant

Man, I couldn't type all that with a straight face..

Okay, the real one now.

Bottom:

Bright

Obliging

Troublemaking

Tricky

Original

Mischievous

Tops:

Tolerant

Omnipotent (well in their own mind, anyway)

Patient

Sympathetic

Did I get you laughing? Alright, the real one now.

Tops:

Terrible

Ogres

Persecuting

Saints

ROFLTIMNLFL!: 

Rolling

On

Floor

Laughing

Though

I

May

Not

Live

For

Long! 

March Madness! A Vanilla Rant

My bracket is "going to hell in a handbasket", as a former history teacher of mine used to say. With the exception of Kansas, North Carolina, and University of Utah I generally don't follow the regular basketball season. But when March Madness comes around, it is always fun to fill out a bracket and see what happens. The fact that someone like me can just make one up and beat out others in the workplace who watched the games all year is pretty cool. Lol. Clearly, pure luck is just as important as skill when the basketball tournament rolls around. There's so many close games and you can never account for what upsets may occur.

I was doing alright through the first and second rounds, then Syracuse lost. Followed by Gonzaga, Notre Dame, and Texas. Sigh. That's what I get for picking a Texas team, I don't even like them. Usually they are a safe bet for at least a few rounds.

Next comes the Sweet Sixteen. With Texas out, I really needed Duke to win. That didn't happen. I switched the channel to watch a different game for a while, thinking they had it in the bag. Then I see the final score, they lost to Arizona 77-93! What is happening here?? Glad I didn't pick Duke to go all the way, which made me win my bracket pool last year. Next, Wisconsin lost to Butler. I have a friend from Wisconsin and if I were a top, I'd so be holding her accountable for that. Lol. But she needn't worry because I'm not a top. ;-) The Duke and Wisconsin losses bumped me from first place to second in my bracket pool. But one more correct pick and I could be back at first. No such luck. Next, number 1 seed Ohio State goes down with a 60-62 loss to Kentucky.
                                                       Grr, why????

The Elite 8 begins tonight. I'm hoping for wins from Florida, Connecticut, and Kansas as all my other picks are shot to hell. Kansas is now the only #1 seed left in the tournament, and who I picked for my ultimate winner. Please Kansas, go all the way! I need that money. Lol.

Maybe a little spanking fun could be some added motivation for the team?

Late To Work Again

"How are you doing today?" he asks over the phone.
"Just another day at work. But... um... I got here late this morning," I quietly reply.
"Oh," he pauses. "Well we'll discuss that later won't we?"
gulp I mumble a yes before the phone call ends.

The anticipation of a spanking to come is one of those things I love to hate. Of course if a promised spanking never comes, then that sucks. But sometimes life just gets in the way. Off and on throughout the day I think about what's going to happen later, wondering how bad it's going to be. Being late to work is a repeat problem which I know will make it even worse. It's something that has been addressed several times. Ugh. I just need to wake up 10-15 minutes earlier and I wouldn't have a problem with it. I don't even remember my alarm going off, maybe it didn't work properly. I'm never late by very much, but pointing that out isn't going to help anything now is it? No, it's not. If you check your Top-to-English dictionary, "excuses" and "explanations" are one and the same.


Finally work is over and I'm at home. He had to work the later shift today so I'm left for several hours alone before he'll be back. I think about pointing out all the things I've been doing well with lately and that it's been a long time since I was punished for being late, but then discard that idea. I know it won't make a difference but my mind still tries to come up with reasons to distract from the issue at hand. He comes home and makes something to eat for dinner as I watch him from across the room. The longer he takes the more the butterflies in my stomach go wild. Finally, he looks over at me and says "go in the bedroom and wait for me." Gulp.

I go into the bedroom and sit on the edge of the bed for a minute before he comes in. He silently walks past me into the bathroom, grabs the larger of my two hairbrushes, and sets it down on the bed. Then he grabs the wooden paddle from under the bed and sets it next to the brush. Oh god, the brush AND the paddle? As he reads my thoughts, the scolding begins.
"What are we here for?" he asks.
"Because I was late to work," I mumble.
"I can't hear you, young lady," he sternly says.
"I was late to work," I state slightly louder.
"And we've talked about this before, haven't we?" he asks.
"Yes," I reply as I cast my eyes downward.
He puts his hand under my chin, lifting it to make me meet his gaze. "Well clearly the message didn't get through which is why you'll be spanked with the hairbrush and the paddle tonight. Stand up and bend over the bed."

I bend over the bed and he starts with a flurry of smacks with his hand. It isn't long before my pants come down and the swats get harder. "Owww owww!" He lets up for a moment but only to get the chair by the desk and pull it out into the center of the room. "Come here," he orders as he sits in the chair. I hesitantly go to him and he pulls me by the wrist and leads me over his knee. I wince as he starts with the hairbrush. SMACK! SMACK! "Why are you in trouble?" he asks. SMACK! SMACK! "Oooww because I was late to work!" "And have you been late to work before?" he asks as he picks up the pace. SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! "Yes I have! I'm sorry!" He pulls my panties down to my knees and switches to the paddle. THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! "Are we going to have to discuss this again?" THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! "Oooow oooow!" My legs are kicking and I can hardly stay in place. "Nooo, I'm sorry!" He pauses and rubs his hand over my burning cheeks. "You'll get 10 more with the paddle and I want you to count them and tell me you won't be late again." THWACK! "One, I won't be late to work again!" THWACK! "Two, I won't be late to work again!" THWACK! "Three, I won't be late to work again!" THWACK! "Four, I won't be late to work again!" THWACK! "Five, I won't be late to work again!" THWACK! "Six, I won't be late to work again!" THWACK! "Seven, I won't be late to work again!" THWACK! "Eight, I won't be late to work again!" THWAAACK! "Ooooww!", I struggle to catch my breath, "Nine, I won't be late to work again!" THWAAACK! "Aaah! Ten, I won't be late to work again!" He sets the paddle down and rubs my bottom. "It's done now. I don't want to have to do this again," he softly says. "You won't have to," I sniffle. "I'm sorry."

He helps me up and tells me that since this is a repeat problem, I'm going to sit in the chair facing the corner for a few minutes. I pull the chair to the corner and sit down. My backside is on fire. Having to sit in the corner is sooo much worse than standing for those who haven't experienced this. After minutes that seem like hours, he tells me that I can come out from the corner. He pulls me into a long embrace and tells me that he loves me. "I love you too," I sniffle. I cuddle with him on the bed as he rubs some lotion on my sore backside. "It's after 11:30," he reminds me. "You're not going to be late tomorrow are you?" "No, I'm not," I reply. I soon fell into a fitful slumber. ...And no, I wasn't late the next day. I really am a good girl most of the time. :-)

The Implements

Results of my blog poll: What Do You Like Best To Spank/Be Spanked With?

the good old hand- 29 votes
belt- 11 votes
strap- 2 votes
paddle- 15 votes
cane- 14 votes
The FES- 5 votes

AND THE WINNER IS...

In many similar discussions I've been part of, the hand generally gets the most votes. There's just something about the human touch, the intimacy of skin to skin contact. The hand got my vote as well. Hands are all around us adding an extra thrill to those of us that are spanko minded. It's always available and you never know when it might be used...  The hand also has great versatility, it can be soft and gentle or fast and furious. I read a comment where someone stated something to the effect of  "spanking by hand is the cake, other implements are the icing". For the record, I'm just fine with plain cake. It's still cake, after all. Too much icing gives me a stomachache. ;-)

Nice logo on the belt, right? Thank you Google images. Hehe. What can one say about the belt? I've heard it described as the symbol of masculine authority. I like that. I definitely have a whole headspace just for the belt. It's not something I can casually play with, the belt screams discipline. It means business. And like the hand, it's discretely present, leaving you wondering when it's going to be coming off next. Then there's the whole ritual of removing the belt. Hearing it swish through the belt loops, being doubled over, the sound of it in the air, knowing it's coming, waiting for the impact. shivers

The strap has some of the qualities of the belt. The thwapping sound of leather as it comes down across your bottom and oh, what a sting it leaves behind. To some, it brings to mind school scenarios and corporal punishment.

As a subcategory here, I will mention The F.E.S. No image available as noone in their right mind would get close enough to it to take a picture. What is the F.E.S., you ask? If you don't know, count yourself lucky. It stands for Flesh Eating Strap and belongs to a fellow Scony member. It's a strap type implement made of blood, sweat, tears, and leather. Or so I hear. Where can you get one? Nowhere, you sadist. It is one of a kind and was hand made by the devil himself.

The paddle had the second highest number of votes. What kind of nuts are voting on this blog? Paddles can come in leather but it generally makes me think of wood. As you may have seen in a blog entry I made earlier this month, I've recently become better acquainted with wooden paddles. Depending on the type of wood, they can pack some sting but most tend to be more thuddy. Quite an effect even with little impact used. Wood is often to blame for leaving marks if you aren't careful.

And last but not least, the cane. Loved by few, feared by many. Not for beginners, the cane requires an experienced hand. This is the implement I've had the least experience with myself, but I still find it scary. Lol. It just seems really severe to me. It would definitely put me in a discipline headspace and not be for casual play. But for those who love the cane, a proper caning is considered almost an art form.


This concludes my talk on implements for today. What's your favorite icing? :-)

Body Language

I will get to my vanilla rant on this topic a bit later, but you are all tuning in for spanking talk so we'll start there.

Body language. This is an important thing to be able to interpret, especially in the spanko world. So much of what we do involves non-verbal communication. We all have heard the saying actions speak louder than words. Reading one's signals can be tricky, especially when playing with someone new. Although there's certainly no replacement for discussion between both parties as to what both want to get from their experience, picking up on those non-verbal signals is also key.

Personally, I hate asking for a spanking. I don't know if others have this issue, but I just hate it. I know that noone's a mindreader (especially men, I mean, come on) ;-) so I tend to let my body language and attitude do the talking. The picture on the right isn't directly related but I found it quite funny, so there ya go. If a woman is ready to stab you with a fork, she's not happy. Body language lesson learned.

Does that mean if I'm really pissed off that I'm looking to be spanked? No, I'm just really pissed off. Lol. But a more playful pouting? Yes, that can be a signal. Knowing the difference is where that tricky part comes into play.

Am I listening to you?

Is your scolding having an effect on me?






Well, of course. I always listen. You don't have to laugh THAT loud, sheesh... If I smile or giggle while being scolded or even spanked, does that mean I'm not taking it seriously? Not necessarily. It's usually just nerves. Everyone is different though. I've heard terms like "consensual non consent" (confusing, I know) that refers to both parties being in agreement about spanking taking place even though one may be resistant to it at the moment. The better you know your play partner, the easier it becomes to know what makes them tick and what really is a signal. And of course, I'm speaking from a bottom's perspective but it's important to pick up on a top's body language too. Believe it or not, they aren't always in the mood. I know, crazy right? So one needs to learn when THE LOOK means "you are so getting it" or when it means "cut it out, really."

Now to my vanilla rant. This is what made me originally think about this subject. I have two words for you- elevator chatter. Yay or nay? I cannot comprehend why people can't just be quiet for the 10 second ride from the first floor to the fourth. What drives people to feel the need to have to fill up every possible silence with useless chit chat? My body language could not be a clearer sign that I don't want to talk to you.

I'm purposely not making eye contact. I'm doing anything to appear busy while being in the elevator. Looking at my watch. Digging through my purse when I'm not really needing anything. Faux texting on my phone. The faux texting is used at the mall too, I mean who doesn't want to avoid those freaking mall kiosk vendors that you are forced to walk by to get from one end to the other?

But alas, people just aren't getting it. Nearly every time, someone feels the need to say "can you believe the weather out there?" or god forbid, "wow, how tall are you?" Oh, I'm tall? Really? Thanks for telling me, I never was aware of that! But that's a whole different subject... The comedian Kevin James has a funny stand up bit about what he calls "the chatter people". He talks about how you can always pick them out, how they always seem really happy to be wherever they are, and you know when they are going to approach you while you think "oh no, he's coming to me, he is coming to me." Lol. So true...

This ignorance of my body language is a constant annoyance, especially at the workplace. So the point is, if we're sharing an elevator ride, shut your trap! Lol. This is probably sounding completely antisocial here, but if I know people, I love to talk. For 15 seconds with strangers in an elevator however, no conversation is necessary. Just stare at those floor buttons until it arrives where you get off. Just one more motivation to use the stairs...

I hope my words have touched someone out there, and the next time you are in an elevator you will think of me and your mouth will stay closed. :-)

A Bit Of Top Appreciation

In the spanko world there are definitely a few "Creepy McCreepys" (term borrowed from a Fetflife discussion) out there. Negative encounters tend to stick in people's minds. But what of all the good folks out there? It's not always discussed as often. This is a little tribute for all the good people out there in the spanko world. It's assumed bottoms are all wonderful people, hehe, but what about the tops? They get a bad rap sometimes.

They've been stereotyped as being uptight, bossy, lacking a sense of humor, and griping at you if you do this. ---> 
                                                       

 <---- Or this.     

                                                                                                   Or this.  (I sooo need this shirt) ----> 



C'mon, you know I had to get a few jokes in there. ;-) But seriously, being a top is difficult job. They put a lot of time and effort into understanding a bottom's headspace when sometimes we don't completely understand it ourselves. They work at making us feel comfortable and discussing with us what we want to get out of our spanking experience. They make us feel safe and at ease. A bottom places a lot of trust in a top and building that trust isn't always easy.

  A toast to all the great tops out there, ladies and gentleman!

What are some traits of a good top?

Character

Trust

Wisdom

Love

Integrity

Honor

Courage, too.

Tolerance

Communication

To these good tops stay true. :-)

To all the good men and women out there, thank you for tolerating me and for all that you do. You truly are appreciated. I tip my hat to you.

   

And last but certainly not least, to my husband, I love you. Thank you for all that you do and for being open to taking this journey with me.

P.S. To those of you who think I'm majorly sucking up here, it won't help but it can't hurt either, right?

;-)

Paddles And Brushes and Belts, Oh My!



The Stringman in Padeo, from kittysexoticpaddles


My new merchandise has officially been tested out and I have one word for you- OOOWW! What was I thinking, buying wood?? They were so pretty though, that's what lured me in. Lol. The first paddle is so cute and shaped like a guitar, I've never seen anything like it. It's made from Padeo which is a lighter, springier wood. It has more sting than thud, but also covers more area than the other paddle due to it's unique shape.







Captain's Choice Gemini in Australian Canarywood, from
kittysexoticpaddles


The second paddle is dual sided, made of two different kinds of wood, Australian Canarywood on the one side and Bali Lacewood on the other. These are considered more middle weight woods. (I don't wanna meet the heavweights! :-O ) That adds up to one thick mother ------. Lol. This one packs more thud than sting. I've never bought paddles before and Kitty of Kitty's Exotic Paddles was really helpful when ordering these and made suggestions on what to get for a wood newbie. I highly recommend checking her stuff out. The woods are just beautiful and have a nice shine to them, each has really unique markings. (I can hear your sarcastic thoughts now, "what about YOUR markings?" Yeah, yeah...)



Captain's Choice Gemini in Bali Lacewood, from
kittysexoticpaddles


Okay, end of the infomercial section. You want to hear about the damages, right? Sadists... ;-) So the evening started off with a maintenance spanking. These usually fall on Sundays but this week it was on Tuesday night due to our schedules. J had laid out both the paddles and my hairbrush on the bed. And a hairbrush you ask yourself? I was thinking the same thing. "But... but... why is this out? We're already testing out the paddles tonight." J said "I know, the hairbrush is part of the maintenance, the paddles are after." Sigh. With his hand on the small of my back, I hesitantly bent over the bed. The butterflies were really kicking it now. With maintenance spankings, I tend to relate things in exercise terms, not sure why. Lol. It's usually 1 set of warm up spankings by hand, 1 set of harder spankings by hand, 1 set of harder "doubles" (two in a row flurries to each cheek) by hand, and 1 set with the choice of implement for the week (aforementioned hairbrush). Needing to be able to warm up to using the wood in hopes of not being a black and blue mess, this was over the pants to start with. After getting through with the hairbrush, it was time for the first paddle. SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK! Wow, what an impact! And this was with the "lighter" of the two. SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK! This was still over the pants and it left quite a sting, I was already struggling to stay in place. He switched to the other paddle and the swats continued. Now in play is the "thud" part. My backside was really heating up now. The pants came down and I laid out on the bed as J continued to interchange the paddles. I tried not to squirm but my legs were kicking at this point. No, he was not injured during any of this (sheesh, why is he the one you're worried about?).


vertical view of double sided paddle


Out came the straight back chair and he pulled me over his knee. Yes, these paddles have the added bonus of being manageable in an over the knee position. Goodie... rolls eyes. My bottom was bared and just when I thought it couldn't hurt any more, yeah... it did. One can only manage so much kicking being over the knee and trying not to slip off onto the floor, so I restrained as much as possible. I'm not one to really curse while being spanked, but I was pretty close to muttering a few choice words this time. My backside was on fire. Just when I wasn't sure that I could take any more, he eased up and the paddle portion was finished. Now, my favorite part of the whole spanking is always afterwards. Aftercare. After a long embrace, I laid down on the bed and he gently put some lotion on my burning rear. But not before he doubled over his belt and gave me a few smacks with that! So twisted, I know. Letting me think it was over before pulling that move. Lol. Now I was quite curious to assess the damage myself. I mark notoriously easy and have a very fair complexion so long ago gave up on the idea that maybe I could build a tolerance and not ever bruise. I checked myself out in the mirror and was fairly pleased with the results. A bright overall redness with some bruising that was clearly going to show more the next day, but not too bad considering. Of course, J said he was hardly even swinging it. Fellow bottoms, we've all heard this haven't we? "I took it easy on you..." Yeah, yeah, whatever. Tops.... rolls eyes. It was about time to go to bed, but not before I turned the thermostat down a few notches. My bottom was certainly radiating enough heat to keep me warm for the night... So off to sleep I went, J's arm around me, basking in the afterglow.

2 Years Already?

Today is the 2 year anniversary of when I joined SCONY! It has been quite a journey so far. Sometimes I can't believe how fast it went by and how so much has happened since then. But at the same time, when I'm waiting for the next mountain weekend to come up it goes really slow. Lol. I've been reflecting back on how I've changed as a person and a player since the beginning.

As brand spanking new-bie Lea, I was SO nervous about everything. I'd chatted frequently with my new friends for about 6 months before I entered the public scene and attended my first ever spanking party/weekend in October 2009. On the plane ride out East, it was so nervewracking. My mind was running wild with what was going to happen. What was I doing? I'm really flying across the country to meet people and be spanked? I wasn't scared in the sense that I thought I was going into an unsafe situation at all. I'd talked with people extensively and had a good feel for a lot of the personalities of the group and the people were great and very understanding in answering my millions of questions. Lol. But actually going out there and acting on it, was a different story.

After the longest flight ever, partly due to the anticipation and also the ridiculous layovers and flight plan, I arrived. I met up with 2 friends and we got a car and went to the weekend location together. Actually, I met one friend first and we had to go to a different airport to locate said second friend, but that's a whole different story. Lol. So we were on our way. They both had been to a weekend before so helped to ease my nerves a little more by sharing their previous experience there. My first impression was already a good one, they were great and so friendly. A few twist, turns, and tolls later, we were there. (Tolls? What's with all these toll stops? There isn't one toll road in the entire state of Utah! Thank goodness for that because with my sense of direction, I'd be circling back to the same one and be out of cash before I reached my destination.) In what the Pennsylvanians call "mountains". I'm from Utah, so I have a different perspective on that. Lol.

 Anyhow, the first night about half of the overall group had arrived. That helped give me a little more time to put faces with names and get a feel for everyone. I was blown away with just how great everybody was. I had heard over and over from everyone that the people were great and I'd fit right in, but now I could attest to that myself. I was welcomed with open arms (and awaiting hands, of course...) and everybody was so friendly and funny and great to be around. I was still very shy at this point, may be hard to remember for the people who know me now. :-) But I quickly turned chatty and even broke out of my shell a bit in order to sing a song in karaoke that night. I also learned that singing country wasn't the biggest hit with this group. Lol. As the weekend progressed, I felt more and more comfortable. And, unfortunately for my backside, that makes my sarcastic sense of humor more prominent. Hehe. There were many opportunities to chat and related with others about this kink we all share, many more to be spanked, and I even got to catch up on an episode of Days of our Lives that I was behind on, but not without MUCH protesting in the room. Sheesh. I had many threats of bodily harm if I turned that on again, even from a fellow bottom! Lol. These were the days of my life and I was getting to experience it to the fullest. (pardon the bad plug :-) )

Getting to meet like-minded folks is great. I felt more normal and that I certainly wasn't alone in this world. There were so many different people from all walks of life that were brought together to share our common interest and that's a wonderful thing. It was interesting to hear other's perspectives about it and how it's practiced in their lives. And how often can you be in a room full of people and be able to approach anyone and have an enjoyable conversation? Not often for me. (See above mention of shyness.) I learned to expand a bit on what I thought my limits would be. I had originally had a fear of implements and wasn't sure what to expect but I had many good spanking experiences there and learned it's more about who is wielding it and how, than what it is. Poor implements get a bad rap sometimes. Communicating what you want is the key and leads to an enjoyable experience for the top and the bottom. That weekend I also had my first spanked to tears experience. I'd never had that happen before, and it's happened very few times since. That's not always what I'm looking for in a spanking, but it was a good thing to experience. It certainly involves more of a psychological factor, for me, and doesn't come just from the physical pain of a spanking. I felt safe and cared for and the whole emotional buildup around the whole trip and experience all factored in. Parting was such sweet sorrow. I bawled having to say goodbye to all my friends. I still do that every time, actually. I know, I'm such a sap. I went back home, returned to vanilla life, had some difficulty sitting at my desk for a few days ;-) and shared with J all about the experience. It helped us evolve a lot together now that I had a better feel for what I wanted out of it.

I've attended two more mountain weekends since and they have been equally wonderful. I've had so many good experiences and have made deep friendships that go well beyond the kink. So what's changed over time? I am still shy, (I know, I know, believe it or not) but I feel more confident now than I used to. I've become better at communicating what I want and listening to others. I'm still sarcastic as hell. >:) Sorry, no amount of "correction" will completely get rid of that. And no, that's NOT a challenge. Hehe. I've pushed my limits some and try to be open to new things. For example, I always have had a fear of wood but this past week I am now the owner of not one, but TWO wooden paddles. Crazy right? Reviews to come on that later when they've been properly worn in.   :-) I believe my relationship with my husband has benefited by being completely open and sharing my deepest needs and desires. How couldn't it? I dont' consider myself a newbie but am far from a veteran. I'm not sure what you call in-between but I suppose that's where I'd fall into. The learning process never truly ends. And I've started this new blog. I hope that just like the many people who've helped me through this process, my words may help some other nervous newbie out there. If not, I hope it's still found entertaining. So happy anniversary to me! And may all of you continue to enjoy your own journeys as well.