I will get to my vanilla rant on this topic a bit later, but you are all tuning in for spanking talk so we'll start there.
Body language. This is an important thing to be able to interpret, especially in the spanko world. So much of what we do involves non-verbal communication. We all have heard the saying actions speak louder than words. Reading one's signals can be tricky, especially when playing with someone new. Although there's certainly no replacement for discussion between both parties as to what both want to get from their experience, picking up on those non-verbal signals is also key.
Personally, I hate asking for a spanking. I don't know if others have this issue, but I just hate it. I know that noone's a mindreader (especially men, I mean, come on) ;-) so I tend to let my body language and attitude do the talking. The picture on the right isn't directly related but I found it quite funny, so there ya go. If a woman is ready to stab you with a fork, she's not happy. Body language lesson learned.
Does that mean if I'm really pissed off that I'm looking to be spanked? No, I'm just really pissed off. Lol. But a more playful pouting? Yes, that can be a signal. Knowing the difference is where that tricky part comes into play.
Am I listening to you?
Is your scolding having an effect on me?
Well, of course. I always listen. You don't have to laugh THAT loud, sheesh... If I smile or giggle while being scolded or even spanked, does that mean I'm not taking it seriously? Not necessarily. It's usually just nerves. Everyone is different though. I've heard terms like "consensual non consent" (confusing, I know) that refers to both parties being in agreement about spanking taking place even though one may be resistant to it at the moment. The better you know your play partner, the easier it becomes to know what makes them tick and what really is a signal. And of course, I'm speaking from a bottom's perspective but it's important to pick up on a top's body language too. Believe it or not, they aren't always in the mood. I know, crazy right? So one needs to learn when THE LOOK means "you are so getting it" or when it means "cut it out, really."
Now to my vanilla rant. This is what made me originally think about this subject. I have two words for you- elevator chatter. Yay or nay? I cannot comprehend why people can't just be quiet for the 10 second ride from the first floor to the fourth. What drives people to feel the need to have to fill up every possible silence with useless chit chat? My body language could not be a clearer sign that I don't want to talk to you.
I'm purposely not making eye contact. I'm doing anything to appear busy while being in the elevator. Looking at my watch. Digging through my purse when I'm not really needing anything. Faux texting on my phone. The faux texting is used at the mall too, I mean who doesn't want to avoid those freaking mall kiosk vendors that you are forced to walk by to get from one end to the other?
But alas, people just aren't getting it. Nearly every time, someone feels the need to say "can you believe the weather out there?" or god forbid, "wow, how tall are you?" Oh, I'm tall? Really? Thanks for telling me, I never was aware of that! But that's a whole different subject... The comedian Kevin James has a funny stand up bit about what he calls "the chatter people". He talks about how you can always pick them out, how they always seem really happy to be wherever they are, and you know when they are going to approach you while you think "oh no, he's coming to me, he is coming to me." Lol. So true...
This ignorance of my body language is a constant annoyance, especially at the workplace. So the point is, if we're sharing an elevator ride, shut your trap! Lol. This is probably sounding completely antisocial here, but if I know people, I love to talk. For 15 seconds with strangers in an elevator however, no conversation is necessary. Just stare at those floor buttons until it arrives where you get off. Just one more motivation to use the stairs...
I hope my words have touched someone out there, and the next time you are in an elevator you will think of me and your mouth will stay closed. :-)