Tuesday, March 1, 2011
2 Years Already?
Today is the 2 year anniversary of when I joined SCONY! It has been quite a journey so far. Sometimes I can't believe how fast it went by and how so much has happened since then. But at the same time, when I'm waiting for the next mountain weekend to come up it goes really slow. Lol. I've been reflecting back on how I've changed as a person and a player since the beginning.
As brand spanking new-bie Lea, I was SO nervous about everything. I'd chatted frequently with my new friends for about 6 months before I entered the public scene and attended my first ever spanking party/weekend in October 2009. On the plane ride out East, it was so nervewracking. My mind was running wild with what was going to happen. What was I doing? I'm really flying across the country to meet people and be spanked? I wasn't scared in the sense that I thought I was going into an unsafe situation at all. I'd talked with people extensively and had a good feel for a lot of the personalities of the group and the people were great and very understanding in answering my millions of questions. Lol. But actually going out there and acting on it, was a different story.
Anyhow, the first night about half of the overall group had arrived. That helped give me a little more time to put faces with names and get a feel for everyone. I was blown away with just how great everybody was. I had heard over and over from everyone that the people were great and I'd fit right in, but now I could attest to that myself. I was welcomed with open arms (and awaiting hands, of course...) and everybody was so friendly and funny and great to be around. I was still very shy at this point, may be hard to remember for the people who know me now. :-) But I quickly turned chatty and even broke out of my shell a bit in order to sing a song in karaoke that night. I also learned that singing country wasn't the biggest hit with this group. Lol. As the weekend progressed, I felt more and more comfortable. And, unfortunately for my backside, that makes my sarcastic sense of humor more prominent. Hehe. There were many opportunities to chat and related with others about this kink we all share, many more to be spanked, and I even got to catch up on an episode of Days of our Lives that I was behind on, but not without MUCH protesting in the room. Sheesh. I had many threats of bodily harm if I turned that on again, even from a fellow bottom! Lol. These were the days of my life and I was getting to experience it to the fullest. (pardon the bad plug :-) )
Getting to meet like-minded folks is great. I felt more normal and that I certainly wasn't alone in this world. There were so many different people from all walks of life that were brought together to share our common interest and that's a wonderful thing. It was interesting to hear other's perspectives about it and how it's practiced in their lives. And how often can you be in a room full of people and be able to approach anyone and have an enjoyable conversation? Not often for me. (See above mention of shyness.) I learned to expand a bit on what I thought my limits would be. I had originally had a fear of implements and wasn't sure what to expect but I had many good spanking experiences there and learned it's more about who is wielding it and how, than what it is. Poor implements get a bad rap sometimes. Communicating what you want is the key and leads to an enjoyable experience for the top and the bottom. That weekend I also had my first spanked to tears experience. I'd never had that happen before, and it's happened very few times since. That's not always what I'm looking for in a spanking, but it was a good thing to experience. It certainly involves more of a psychological factor, for me, and doesn't come just from the physical pain of a spanking. I felt safe and cared for and the whole emotional buildup around the whole trip and experience all factored in. Parting was such sweet sorrow. I bawled having to say goodbye to all my friends. I still do that every time, actually. I know, I'm such a sap. I went back home, returned to vanilla life, had some difficulty sitting at my desk for a few days ;-) and shared with J all about the experience. It helped us evolve a lot together now that I had a better feel for what I wanted out of it.
I've attended two more mountain weekends since and they have been equally wonderful. I've had so many good experiences and have made deep friendships that go well beyond the kink. So what's changed over time? I am still shy, (I know, I know, believe it or not) but I feel more confident now than I used to. I've become better at communicating what I want and listening to others. I'm still sarcastic as hell. >:) Sorry, no amount of "correction" will completely get rid of that. And no, that's NOT a challenge. Hehe. I've pushed my limits some and try to be open to new things. For example, I always have had a fear of wood but this past week I am now the owner of not one, but TWO wooden paddles. Crazy right? Reviews to come on that later when they've been properly worn in. :-) I believe my relationship with my husband has benefited by being completely open and sharing my deepest needs and desires. How couldn't it? I dont' consider myself a newbie but am far from a veteran. I'm not sure what you call in-between but I suppose that's where I'd fall into. The learning process never truly ends. And I've started this new blog. I hope that just like the many people who've helped me through this process, my words may help some other nervous newbie out there. If not, I hope it's still found entertaining. So happy anniversary to me! And may all of you continue to enjoy your own journeys as well.