Sunday, August 21, 2011

What NOT To Say- Part 1

The SCONY Mountain Weekend is coming up in less than 30 days. I'm so excited! Prior to the weekend in April, I started sending a daily countdown text to some of my friends and weekend attendees with a theme of sounds of spanking. Now this seemed like a clever idea at first, but I soon found it a little difficult to come up with that many different sounds. I had to get a bit creative but the following list was eventually compiled.

29- whackle
28- slap
27- thwack
26- smack
25- thud
24- swish
23- craaack
22- whack
21- wham
20- thump
19- whap
18- whump
17- spank
16- thwap
15- wallop
14- tap
13- whip
the second 13- Muahaha (sounds a top makes, of course)
12- snap
11- thwock
10- whoosh
9- strike
8- whup
7- thunk
6- oomph (and the final six are sounds a bottom makes)
5- Oooww!
4- Eeep!
3- Aahh!
2- D'oh!
1- ####!

If you noticed there were two 13's that was due to a malfunctioning countdown clock that was a day off. So with this next weekend fast approaching, the idea of countdown texts was brought up again. A dear friend (let's see if I still think that in a few weeks) suggested a theme of "Top 30 Things NOT To Say To A Top." I know what you're thinking. Whaddaya kiddin me with that? Is he trying to get me killed? No, says the voice of reason, though I may soon wish I was dead.

Nevertheless, I took the bait and started compiling a list of ideas. Yes, I put my bottom on the line for the entertainment of all. I'm selfless like that. Now once the text a day is finished and the weekend is here, I will post part 2 of this with a complete list. I know you are all on the edge of your seats. I will now mention one specifically though, as that takes us to the next part of my story.

#27 was "I wouldn't want you to hurt your widdle hand." I had mentioned these texts I'd been doing to J and he thought it was a funny idea. Now in real life I'm quite the angel and really would never utter most of these things out loud. Or so I thought. Fast forward to Thursday night, we were getting ready for bed and I said something "with an attitude" that set off his top radar. He jokingly made a comment about spanking me for it and I said "I wouldn't want you to hurt your widdle hand." Do you see where this is going?

Now he knew that I was joking and that this was one of the things from the list, but was he going to let that opening slide? Um, no. I quickly found myself lying across his lap as he sat on the bed and his hand delivered several firm swats to my bared backside. SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! "Are you still worried about my hand?" Yeah, not so much. Why do tops have to ask rhetorical questions anyway? Must be so that we don't get a chance to use one of our witty retorts. "What's hurting now?" he asked. SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! I assumed that was rhetorical as well and didn't reply with much more than an Oowww!

I soon went to sleep with a well-warmed bottom and am now pondering over what else is in store for me. How do I get myself into these predicaments? You'd think I kind of like it or something.

To be continued...


sarah thorne said...

"What's hurting now?" <<<

I still woulda answered, "Ummm....your hand, Sir?" :-D

That's a good list, and there are just soooooo many things that can go on a list such as that.

Actually, probably anything that comes out of our mouths that isn't-- "I'm sorry!" or "Yes Sir!" or "I won't do it again!" -- is fair game to be part of the list!


Anonymous said...

I love your countdown clock and the comments. I used all of the ones you have sent so far on Friday nite so now they are field tested. LOL. And, yes you are right about not saying them to a top. Ouch.

Lea said...

@sarah, It's all about options. :-)

@joey, Glad to know they've been tested and I would imagine the outcome ended with an "ouch."

kiwigirliegirl said...

lol cool idea of the countdown and how many sound effects words are there???
Sometimes we have to learn the hard way of things NOT TO SAY to our tops hehehe :) I figured that out over the weekend with the wooden spoon lol

ronnie said...

Love it Lea, very good. Now I can't wait to read your "What not to say to a top."


Lea said...

@kiwi, there are a LOT of sound effects! I had to get creative though. Wooden spoons are way more evil than one would imagine.

@ronnie, Looking forward to sharing the whole list. It's received quite a response from those who've been on my daily list. Can't say that's a GOOD response though. Depends on how you look at it. Lol.