Sunday, October 16, 2011

Odds And Ends- What The World Is Searching For

My Blogger stats had wigged out by the time I made my tenth post on here. No idea why, it just stopped updating statistics for new content and everything else. Fortunately, someone had recommended I use Google Analytics, which I highly recommend, and that is how I gather my current information. A recent observation I made is that if you put the word "caned" in the title of your blog post, your numbers will skyrocket. Lol. Definitely a fixation there amongst spankos.

Keyword searches always show some humorous results. Poor innocent people searching for recipes for their leftover Peeps and finding a spanking blog instead. O_O James Spader is worthy of his own category.

"james spader office desk spanking" Sorry to inform you, there have been no spankings on The Office so far in this current season. I remain hopeful.

"pretty in pink Spader," "does James Spader love spanking?" "i love james spader," "james spader is kinky," "james spader secretary," "james spader spank," "my love for james spader is not normal," "james spader spanking in Boston Legal." Nope, no spankings on Boston Legal either. Still a show worth checking out though. Most of those searches actually stuck around for a few minutes. Thanks for reading, Spader fans.

Here are a few others from the interesting to the downright odd.

"spanking sounds" 
"blood pressure and spanking," Whatever works, dude.
"crabby cure spanking"
"going spanko" Once you go spanko, you never go back-o?
"help me get my lea back" I'm right here!
"holy schnike" I'm guessing the Tommy Boy fan didn't find what they were looking for.
"how late is late for work" 
"ice cream spanking"
"its not you its me blog lea paine" ???
"letter of disappointed"
"peepsters available for other holidays"
"what are vanilla people" Downright boring.
"soundproof hotels london spanking" Never been outside of the U.S., but I'm a fan of Holiday Inn.
"spanking stories bee stings nurse spanking" Wtf?
"strictly spanking for naughty matures" ???
"top things not to say to a friend" If your friend is a top, I hope my post helped.
"upturnedbottomswithkickingfeet" Now that's a wordmash. Report to Mr. Lewis.

On the subject of "vanilla," I always giggle to myself when I'm out at a restaurant with a vanilla person and they order anything vanilla. Does anybody else observe things like that? The other day someone brought in a bunch of candy to the office and I came across this. ---> Yes, it's a vanilla flavored Tootsie roll. WHY would you do such a thing to a Tootsie roll? That has got to be the dumbest thing ever created behind the Vanilla Frosty. This is my experience at a Wendy's. Me- "I'd like a Frosty, please." Cashier- "What kind of Frosty?" Me- "Um, a real one." There's a reason no one cared to create the Vanilla Frosty for over 30 years. Leave the ice-milk blend that contains no real ice cream alone! Sorry, I have strong feelings about chocolate. Lol.

I think I need to try to make some new friends. I feel like I'm at a different stage of life from so many these days. Most of them are married and already have 2 kids each. I'm married but don't appear to live like it, my apartment is like a freaking college dorm with my husband and his friends having constant LAN parties. If you don't know what that means, be glad. I really don't have much to talk about anymore with a lot of my vanilla friends, though high school associations are all that brought us together in the first place. The friends that are closest to my heart are all in the wrong parts of the country for me to see often. Moving is not a real option. I've never attempted to look for or get involved in any sort of "scene" locally. The main reason is because I love SCONY so much and all my friends I've made through there. Also, going across the country to attend events provides a lot of anonymity. Who knows who I may run into if I meet people locally. I know, if we recognize each other then we are in the same boat because they probably want to keep their kink quiet as well, but it's still a bit scary.

Tonight I started browsing for local stuff on FetLife and most of what I found was quite intimidating. Very BDSM realm. Not that there is anything wrong with that, I'm just clueless on that front. A lot of profiles read like this- "36/F/polyamorous pansexual sadomasochist." Okay, not seeing the words "top" or "bottom" here. I need a kink dictionary to figure out wtf half of that stuff means. Lol. I would probably seem quite vanilla to them with my comparatively minimal interests. I'm not even looking for play partners, just some people that'd be fun to hang out and chat with that may have some thread of a common interest with me. How does anybody meet new people these days anyway? I don't like most of my co-workers. I don't attend church or school. Aside from SCONY, I've pretty much known the same people my whole life. I don't know. I'm terrible at meeting people. I'm shy and probably don't appear to be very interesting unless by some rare chance a person has an obsession with Peeps or 'N Sync. You need to know Justin Timberlake's birthday? I'm your phone-a-friend. I guess I'll see what happens.

October has been less than fantastic so far. I feel so tired and work has been awful. So ready for my co-worker to return from maternity leave in a few weeks. By the time she's back I'm going to need to take a mental health leave. September was a really good month, the abundance of spankings and chance to see a lot of friends certainly helped. I was definitely Tender in September. Even after I returned home from my trip, there was a spike in the frequency of spankings. The other day I was joking about something with J and he said, "I like when you're like this. Do I just need to spank you all the time?" Um, duh. YES!


Anonymous said...

Your SCONY friends really miss you lea. I wish there really was a Star Trek beam for our distant friends. Also, some male members cannot wait to see you to discuss your new icon on FL. You are sooo naughty!!

James Spader said his favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla on an episode of The Office. I wonder if he has a FL profile; I doubt he is really vanilla. It is probably an inside joke among the writers of The Office.

I am glad that J is spanking you often. Good for you.

It was a fun party last night, I really wish you were with us.


PS I did not top, I was too busy.:D

Marne said...

We were thinking about you on Saturday evening, Lea, wishing you were with us! Amy wore her, "NOT Lea!" name tag, too! We need a wealthy SCONY spanko with a private jet...

alex reynolds said...

I checked out Google Analytics on your recommendation. :) It seems pretty awesome. Thanks for that!

kiwigirliegirl said...

not sure what to say lea but i hope you start to feel a bit better soon :) regular spankings from hubby might help
other than that *big hugs* love kiwi xxxx

Kathy said...

Dear Lea, I miss you:-( As I wrote you today, in an email, I wish airfares were cheap, because you have folks who would gladly give you a place to stay, enjoy your company. It's not much comfort,but despite the miles that separate us, good friends are always close , both in heart and mind.
Big hugs,

Lea said...

@joey, Glad you had a good time at the party. Wish I could've been there. Sort of... Lol. Um, what do you know about how people feel about my icon?? We need to talk later...

@Marne, I know, right? Who is going to recruit Bill Gates into spankoland? He'd have us all covered.

@alex, I really like it. Don't trust Blogger, it has too many glitches.

@kiwi, Thank you. *hug*

@Kathy, Indeed you are. Thank you. *hug*

PK said...

Just followed your your like back from Kwiwgirliegirl. I'll be back to read more. Meanwhile you can find my blog and Fantasy Friday at

There are three years of great stories from many different writers if you go back and check on the Fridays. And I'm always looking for new stories. So if you ever write fiction and you'd be willing to share... well, I'd love to hear from you.


Erica said...

LOL -- always love those keyword phrases! You got some bizarre ones there.

And you know what? I love vanilla ice cream/soft-serve. Go figure. But vanilla Tootsie Rolls? Blecccchhhh!

Lea said...

@PK, Thanks for stopping by and sharing your link, I'll definitely check it out!

@Erica, Vanilla Tootsie rolls are just wrong. Homemade vanilla ice cream would be my preference.

sarah thorne said...

keyword searches in stats always amuse me. I always wonder what people who are obviously looking for something vanilla are thinking when they click on my site or blog!

Vanilla tootsie rolls = yuck!

As for the local types of events, I have found the same. They include the spankos, of course, but the group itself is mainly BDSM oriented and I, too, find that quite intimidating. I am sure they're all great people, and maybe I will venture out to a munch (that happens very close to where I am, btw). But for now, I am just a tad wary.


Lea said...

@sarah, I'd like to think that we lead some vanillas into exploring things after they land on our blogs accidentally. Hehe. Good to see you back!