Thursday, June 9, 2011

Spank Deprivation

I came across the term "spank-deprived" over on Erica's blog this week. When I hear that phrase, it makes me think of sleep-deprived. As I thought about it, there are a lot of similiarities to being sleep-deprived and spank-deprived.

From Wikipedia:
Sleep deprivation is the condition of not having enough sleep; it can be either chronic or acute. A chronic sleep-restricted state can cause fatigue, daytime sleepiness, clumsiness, and weight loss or weight gain. It adversely affects the brain and cognitive function. Few studies have compared the effects of acute total sleep deprivation and chronic partial sleep restriction. Complete absence of sleep over long periods is impossible for humans to achieve (unless they suffer from fatal familial insomnia); brief microsleeps cannot be avoided. Long term total sleep deprivation has caused death in lab animals.


Now let's change a few words here and see how it still fits:
Spank deprivation is the condition of not having enough spankings; it can be either chronic or acute. A chronic spank-restricted state can cause fatigue, daytime moodiness, clumsiness, and humor loss or tension gain. It adversely affects the brain and cognitive function. Few studies have compared the effects of acute total spank deprivation and chronic partial spank restriction. Complete absence of spankings over long periods is possible for humans to achieve (unless they suffer from self spanksomnia); brief spanking daydreams cannot be avoided. Long term total spank deprivation has caused death.

The similarities are weird, huh?

Here are some side effects that lack of sleep or spanking may result in:

-aching muscles ... Don't let your rear end atrophy!
-confusion, memory lapses or loss ...Is that why tops ask so many questions? They are trying to exercise our minds?
-depression
-hallucinations ...See spanking daydreams above.
-hand tremors ... That gives a top having an "itchy palm" a whole new meaning!
-headaches
-increased blood pressure
-increased stress hormone levels ...Not getting that stress relief spanking is a bummer.
-irritability ... YA THINK??
-temper tantrums (No joke, that was really listed on Wikipedia!)

Quiz: Are You Sleep Spank Deprived?

1. How many hours of sleep spanking do you get every night?
a. 10-12
b. 8-10
c. 6-8
d. 4-6
e. Less than 4 hours

2. How would you best describe your energy level each day to spank?
a. I'm like the Energizer bunny
b. I feel good for the most part
c. I'm usually sluggish and tired
d. I'm exhausted and barely have enough energy to lift my arm.

3. Do you ever have the urge to nap spank/be spanked?
a. Every afternoon about the same time
b. Once in a while
3. Rarely
4. Never

4. When it comes to caffeine implements, you...
a. Avoid them at all costs
b. Keep them to a minimum
c. Enjoy my fair share
d. Use a great deal
e. Use implements from the time I get up to the time I go to bed

5. How would you describe your overall mood?
a. Content
b. Happy
c. Irritable
d. Sullen
e. Distracted

6. Which bests describes your sleep spanking health?
a. There's not a month that goes by when I'm not spanked.
b. I can't remember the last time I was spanked.
c. I get spanked once a year.
d. I get spanked every few months.

7. How would you describe your sleep spanking schedule?
a. I'm spanked late and wake up early.
b. I get spanked at a decent hour every night.
c. Some nights I'm spanked late, some nights I'm spanked early.
d. There are nights when I'm only spanked for an hour or so.

Okay, I don't really know how to calculate the results since not all of this converted easily from the sleep quiz. Lol. You'll just have to figure it out.

However, if you are spank deprived or sleep deprived, I've found that a spanking is a great cure for insomnia. They really should add that to the sleep literature... Way to kill two birds with one stone. Sweet dreams.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think it's clear from your research findings, Lea, that spanking deprivation can be a cause of insomnia.

Karl Friedrich Gauss

wordsmith said...

Lea, presumably you don't actually fall asleep during the spanking process? I'd be horrified to think of you missing all those valuable lectures. May be you should invest in a recording device, or something stingier? :-)

joeyred51 said...

Lea,
I would add focus to the list. A spanking, like sleep, can assist the spankee in the learning process. Say for example learning a new language or making us better able to count. Of course too much sleep can dull the mind, not so with spanking.
Awesome post Lea!
joey

eileen061209 said...

My dear lea...finally an accurate diagnosis for my symptoms. I know that I am spanking deprived out here in California; but I never understood the toll it was taking on my general health.

Now I realize my aching muscles, confusion, memory lapses, headaches, irritability and temper tantrums [I suffer from all of these conditions] are not at all due to a severe character flaw. Now I know for sure IT'S NOT MY FAULT!

bree512 said...

1.None so e (sigh)
2.a
3.Ever second of the day so a (sigh)
4.d
5.c,d & e (I am in trouble)
6.a
7.Once a month so None of the above (sigh)

Conclusion: I should find another hobby because this one, according to this article, is killing me! Yikes! I need some sleep.

Grrrrr!!!!!

Darn it! I just spilled by glass of ice tea.

I love old movies. Watching "Small Town Girl". Thank God for TCM. They don't make men like they used. sigh.

Can a spanking improve your sense of humor?

Actually, I have no problem falling asleep. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...(insert spanking daydream here)...
Oh! Ummmm...where was I...oh yes...I have no problem falling asleep, it's getting to bed that I have a problem with. I stay up too late.

At least I haven't totally lost my sense of humor....yet.

:>p :>)

Erica said...

Oh, this is priceless! LOL

I believe you're onto something here. Both types of deprivation make me exceedingly grumpy.

Lea said...

@Karl, Indeed, I think so too.

@wordsmith, No, no, of course not. To date, I haven't fall asleep during a spanking. However, my mind may wander. "That wall really needs to be repainted. Tomorrow I need to get to the bank before it closes at 1, then gas up the car. Did I lock the office door when I left work today? I can't remember... Oh shoot, did he just ask me something?" "Uh, 16 sir?"

@joey, Too much sleep can indeed dull the mind. I was exhausted this week. Last night, I practically slept from the time I got home until this morning, over 12 hours! Was still tired. Ugh.

@eileen, no not your fault at all. Spank deprivation, it's real! I should add it to urbandictionary.com...

@bree, All things in moderation. I think spanking can definitely improve one's sense of humor. You go too long without one then you get crabby and less funny.

@Erica, I think if Grumpy of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs had gotten his spankings, we would've known his as Spanky instead of Grumpy.

Dave Wolfe said...

There must be an entire industry full of medically-trained Tops ready and eager to take on this problem!

Some folks believe in natural cures, so HERB'S OL' KNEE comes to mind.

Another simple and non-medicinal aid would be to try nightly application of some SPANKRITE STRIPS®.

If that doesn't bring relief, the next step will be CRYIN'ALL P-M.

If a heavier remedy is required, there's LUSPANTSA® and AH'MBEIN SMACKED®

Well, I'd come up with more, or better, but I'm going to bed. Night!

Dr. Ken said...

Lea--as a Top who doesn't have anyone to play with on a regular basis, I'd definitely consider myself "spanking deprived."

What to do....what to do.....

Dr. Ken

Lea said...

@Dave Wolfe, Haha all good ideas. You may want to start marketing them before someone steals the idea!

@Dr. Ken, I hope you can avoid the hand tremors. That would become quite a bother.

Spanking OTK said...

Hello, you have a very nice blog here. I wonder if you like exchange links betwen our blogs. let me know!

Best regards

Xavier

eileen061209 said...

I see the gentleman, Dr. Ken, shares my situation: The playground is always empty.

Kind sir, if you are in dire need of a playmate, as am I, pack up your toys and come to my place. I'm always right here in central California....unless I am playing in the Poconos.

Lea said...

@Spanking OTK, Welcome and thanks for reading! I've added your link.

@eileen, We both really need to move, don't we? Spanking seems to be a dying art in the western U.S.