Having My Cake And Eating It Too



Sadly, my cake didn't have Peeps on it.

We've all heard the expression, "you can't have your cake and eat it too." Uh, why not? And why would you have cake if you weren't going to eat it? Such a silly saying. This week I celebrated my birthday. I've pretty much passed the point of my age having any significance. Last year I reached the age of being able to get a better rate on a rental car. (Your car insurance rates going down at 25 is a total myth, by the way.) 26 hasn't been too exciting so far, but nonetheless I had quite a day. Many thanks to all those who sent birthday well wishes my way.

Unfortunately I couldn't get work off due to current staffing issues, but I milked being there on my birthday for all it was worth and we all got treated to lunch. Someone even brought me a cake at the end of the day. J made us a nice dinner and we watched a movie, though there were frequent interruptions due to happy birthday phone calls rolling in. Being that this is primarily a spanking blog I'm sure you're waiting for me to get to the good part.

I was wondering about where the whole "birthday spanking" idea even came from. I tried to search Wikipedia but there is only this brief mention of it:

In North America, there is a tradition of "birthday spankings" where the birthday girl or boy receives the same number of hits as their age (plus "one to grow") during the birthday party. Birthday spankings are administered over the clothes and usually by close friends or family members.

Well we all know that seriously needs updating. No, it isn't necessarily over clothes and there certainly aren't any family members involved. And it doesn't account for receiving several sets of swats for your current age. No reason to put a limit on things. If anyone knows more about the origins, please feel free to share with us. Whatever the case, a big thanks to whoever thought it up way back when! Lol. It can even provide a way to feel out a vanilla significant other's feelings about spanking. See if they really get into it. I actually received birthday spankings from J in the past before emerging as a spanko, but they weren't anything like this one.

I had been spanked the night before for other reasons with his hand, a leather strap, and a wooden paddle. That strap always leaves a tinge of bruising behind but I wasn't particularly sore the next day, or so I thought. Then the birthday spanking came. It was at the very end of the night because J is mean like that, leaving me anxious about it all night long. I walked into the bedroom and he was sitting on the bed with all of our implements set out around him. (All the ones we hide under the bed anyway. I realized later that he didn't grab any of the hairbrushes that I actually use daily, but you won't hear me complaining.)

I was bared and bent over the bed as I received 26 swats with his hand. They were mostly nice ones to start out with. "Now you're going to get 10 each with all 10 of these implements and count them out loud," he informed me. I could see that I might soon regret mentioning sprints vs. marathons earlier in the week. Fortunately the counting part was just 1-10 with each and I didn't have to get mixed up with big numbers. Lol. I got 10 with his belt, 10 with the bathbrush, 10 with the ruler, 10 with the other belt, 10 with the wood paddle.

It was around that point I definitely started feeling the effects of a spanking on top of a spanking from the night before. I was wriggling around quite a bit and he placed his hand on my back to keep me in position. 10 with the leather strap, 10 with the crop, 10 with the wooden spoon, 10 with the other wood paddle. He had me lay on the bed for the last 10 with the leather paddle. Well, almost. I got 8 swats with the leather paddle. "Are you ready for the last two?" he asked. "Yes," I said, still squirming from the previous eight. SMACK! SMACK! His hand landed firmly across my reddening cheeks. I don't like things being uneven and complained that he didn't do all 10 with the leather paddle. That led to him giving me two final hard swats with the paddle. So let's see, 26 + 100 + 2 = a marathon. My bottom was quite tender but I soon became distracted by other feelings. That wasn't quite the end of our night, but I'll just leave it at that. ;-)

Birthday spankings, genius.

People Wield Canes

This week I've desecrated the classic "People Are Strange" by The Doors. Strange, cane, spanked, they all sort of rhyme so I felt like spankifying this tune. Enoy.

People Wield Canes

People wield canes when you're a spanko

His belt looks ugly when you're alone

Tops seem so wicked when you are bratty

Before you know it, the panties come down

When you're spanked

Bottom is wriggling in pain

When you're spanked

Noone but yourself to blame

When you're spanked

When you're spanked

When you're spanked

Tops will cause pain when you're a spanko

Nightmares of paddles when you're alone

Bottoms seem wicked adding to your troubles

They seem so set on taking you down

When you're spanked

Bottom is wriggling in pain

When you're spanked

Noone but yourself to blame

When you're spanked

When you're spanked

When you're spanked

When you're spanked

Bottom is wriggling in pain

When you're spanked

Noone but yourself to blame

When you're spanked

When you're spanked

When you're spanked

What NOT To Say- Part 1

The SCONY Mountain Weekend is coming up in less than 30 days. I'm so excited! Prior to the weekend in April, I started sending a daily countdown text to some of my friends and weekend attendees with a theme of sounds of spanking. Now this seemed like a clever idea at first, but I soon found it a little difficult to come up with that many different sounds. I had to get a bit creative but the following list was eventually compiled.

29- whackle

28- slap

27- thwack

26- smack

25- thud

24- swish

23- craaack

22- whack

21- wham

20- thump

19- whap

18- whump

17- spank

16- thwap

15- wallop

14- tap

13- whip

the second 13- Muahaha (sounds a top makes, of course)

12- snap

11- thwock

10- whoosh

9- strike

8- whup

7- thunk

6- oomph (and the final six are sounds a bottom makes)

5- Oooww!

4- Eeep!

3- Aahh!

2- D'oh!

1- ####!

If you noticed there were two 13's that was due to a malfunctioning countdown clock that was a day off. So with this next weekend fast approaching, the idea of countdown texts was brought up again. A dear friend (let's see if I still think that in a few weeks) suggested a theme of "Top 30 Things NOT To Say To A Top." I know what you're thinking. Whaddaya kiddin me with that? Is he trying to get me killed? No, says the voice of reason, though I may soon wish I was dead.

Nevertheless, I took the bait and started compiling a list of ideas. Yes, I put my bottom on the line for the entertainment of all. I'm selfless like that. Now once the text a day is finished and the weekend is here, I will post part 2 of this with a complete list. I know you are all on the edge of your seats. I will now mention one specifically though, as that takes us to the next part of my story.

#27 was "I wouldn't want you to hurt your widdle hand." I had mentioned these texts I'd been doing to J and he thought it was a funny idea. Now in real life I'm quite the angel and really would never utter most of these things out loud. Or so I thought. Fast forward to Thursday night, we were getting ready for bed and I said something "with an attitude" that set off his top radar. He jokingly made a comment about spanking me for it and I said "I wouldn't want you to hurt your widdle hand." Do you see where this is going?

Now he knew that I was joking and that this was one of the things from the list, but was he going to let that opening slide? Um, no. I quickly found myself lying across his lap as he sat on the bed and his hand delivered several firm swats to my bared backside. SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! "Are you still worried about my hand?" Yeah, not so much. Why do tops have to ask rhetorical questions anyway? Must be so that we don't get a chance to use one of our witty retorts. "What's hurting now?" he asked. SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! I assumed that was rhetorical as well and didn't reply with much more than an Oowww!

I soon went to sleep with a well-warmed bottom and am now pondering over what else is in store for me. How do I get myself into these predicaments? You'd think I kind of like it or something.

To be continued...

Man's Best Friend

It was one of those days

Feeling stressed

Dejected

A sense of loneliness taking over me

But he is always there

His tail wagging as I walk in the door

Clinging to me

The simple act of curling up on my lap making his day

And mine too

His sense of empathy so acute

Surpassing any person in that moment

That is why he remains man's best friend



Holy Schnike, That's Gonna Leave A Mark!

Poor implements, they get a bad rap sometimes. These innocent and often beautiful pieces of wood and leather end up in idle hands and are used to strike fear in the hearts of bottoms everywhere. Don't blame the implement, blame the top!

Okay, maybe some things are worse than others, but I think it really comes down to how it's used and who is wielding it. A leather belt can be used in a soft, sensual way whereas the innocuous wooden spoon can get one hopping.



My paddles from Kitty

They're so pretty, how can you hold a grudge? I think there are so many stories and themes related to particular implements that it affects how we perceive them. The cane is a classic example and honestly, I'm kind of afraid of it. It always sounds so severe. But recently I read a story by Ronnie at Heart and Soul that changed my perception a bit and showed that there are other ways to use it. Scary or not, a caning is something I'm quite curious to experience one day. I know, I know, curiosity killed the cat.




My Domestic Discipline Strap from The London Tanners

I know certain implements like the belt and strap tend to automatically put me in a particular headspace, too. I wrote a bit about that in this recent post on perception of pain. If my mind is in a serious headspace, the spanking may very well feel worse than it really is.

A few weeks ago, J was giving me a maintenance spanking. In addition to what usually goes into that, he strapped me with the implement pictured above after the maintenance was over for a sort of "funishment" session. It wasn't over a really serious reason but I was in trouble for something. I'm not even sure how many swats I got with it, I don't think it was really much more than 10, but it brought me to tears. I can probably count on both hands how many times that has actually happened. I think it was caused by a combination of things including my headspace, how much I dislike that friggin implement, any build-up of stress I'd been experiencing recently, and the hardness of the spanking itself. But the latter was probably the smallest factor. J said he didn't really use it any harder than any other time. It does wrap easily though and I always have little bruises from where the end of it connects on my bottom. Some say that goes away a bit when you get leather worn in, but I don't know that I care to use it enough to become "worn in"!

Back to my point though, a lot of it comes down to who is using it and how it's wielded. For people who haven't had any or very much experience with implements, my recommendation is to go slow. You can always build up to more later but you can't take back something that was way too severe from the get-go. And one bad experience can make someone shy away from a particular implement for good. Warm up to it and if you don't like it at all, there's a lot of variety out there of other things to try. Or you can just forget implements all together and leave them to what they should be used as- wall decorations.

Getting To Know Lea

This has been moving around the blogosphere so I've decided to force upon you some info about me. :-)

What is your screen name? - Lea or lea27f, depending on the site I'm on. It was taken from Lee Holloway in the movie Secretary and don't even start about how it's "spelled wrong".

How long have you been practicing TTWD -  Thinking about it? Almost as long as I can remember. Actually being spanked as an adult? About 2 1/2 years.

 What is your astrological sign - Virgo because Virgos rule!

What part of the country do you live in -  Western United States where the real sized mountains are.

Do you have any children -  No

Do you have any grandchildren - No

What is your favorite color? Red. Yes, really, and not just for the reason you are thinking.

Morning or Evening - Evening. Morning people give me a headache. Go be chipper somewhere else, please.

Favorite food - I'm a really picky eater. I probably eat chicken most often.

Favorite ice cream - Black raspberry 'n cream cheese, though the company that made it is no longer around. :-( This is also a good one. ---->

Favorite sport - Football or basketball. I differ here as I find that most of the spanko world seems obsessed with hockey and baseball, my two least favorites. Think it has something to do with the prevalence of hitting things within those sports? Something to ponder...

Favorite TV Show - I admittedly watch Days of our Lives daily. Yes, there are still soaps on T.V. I also like House, the various Law and Order series, American Idol, Psych, Monk, Weeds, and have recently been going through a marathon of L.A. Ink.

Favorite Movie - Can't choose just one. Secretary, Man On Fire, Orange County, Scarface, Zoolander, and The Butterfly Effect are all favorites. I also own every movie Tom Cruise has ever been in. Weird, I know. Lol.



Yes, I had this poster on my wall years ago.
But I covered Britney's face with a sticker, lol.


Favorite Type Of Music/Band - Can't choose just one here either. The Beatles, Earth Wind and Fire, 'N Sync, Billy Joel, Mariah Carey, Foreigner. My tastes are all over the map.

First person who welcomed you to blogging -  Bonnie, of course!

Title of your first blog entry - Introduction

What are you wearing on your feet right now - Nothing. I'm usually barefoot when I'm inside my house.

What's your favorite day of the week - Saturday or Sunday, anytime I'm not working really.

What are you listening to right now - The repeated music of the Wii that someone left on in the next room.

Chocolate or Vanilla - Chocolate. I giggle to myself when I'm with any vanilla person who orders something that's literally vanilla.

Tea or coffee - Cawfee, to say it New York style.

Favorite non alcoholic drink - Wuda (aka water, also said New York style)

Favorite alcoholic drink - Vodka tonic or anything overtly sweet and fruity.

Favorite vacation spot - The Poconos! It's a good timeshare, why else would I go to the same place repeatedly? ;-)

Favorite Season - This Season. Or do you mean times of the year? In that case, fall. Lower temperatures and the bugs die off, so it beats spring and all it's allergies.

Place you want to visit - Wherever there will be friends and a good time.

Favorite Spanking Implement - Hand or belt, depending on my headspace.

Favorite Spanking Position - OTK, though I really think it should be called OTL (over the lap). Blasphemy to even suggest such a thing, I know. But if I were literally laying on someone's knee that would be quite an odd uncomfortable position indeed.

What do you love about TTWD? - The power exchange. The connection I feel with the top. Someone being able to break through my barriers and allowing me to let go. And of course being able to connect with all of you out there and knowing I'm not alone in this thing.

If you had to start all over again, would you still choose TTWD - Absolutely.

Best piece of advice you can pass on about TTWD - Get to know the other person & don't rush things. Enjoy every moment of it as well ! (This was MarQe's original answer and I think it's a good one so will leave it there.)

Ask And Ye Shall Receive

What is it that is so hard about asking for a spanking? Maybe some people don't have this issue, but it has always been a problem for me. That may sound silly. I'm an adult, I should be able to ask for what I want. Just be direct. But I hate doing it. Even after years of practicing this lifestyle, I still sometimes struggle to even say the word "spanking" in person when it is actually happening.

"What happens when you behave this way, young lady?"

"I get a spanking, sir."

The words catch in my throat. Every time. It's always harder when it's for something serious. There's been a time or two where I've just laid myself across J's lap while he was on his computer, just to see what he'd do. That's playful, not as big of a deal. But when I really want it, need it, those are the times when it is the hardest for me to communicate.

I think some of it is because of my headspace. I want my top to just know when I'm needing it and act on that. Having to initiate things by asking for it can kill that mood. I know that noone is a mindreader and it isn't fair to expect them to do all the work, but I just wish it was easier. When you know a partner really well it can become easier to pick up on their signals and know what they are wanting. But even then, some things can get lost in translation.

Maybe part of the reason it is so hard to ask is because it really puts me out there in such a vulnerable state. There is some factor of shame or embarrassment in having to ask to be spanked and admitting that I really need it. It places me in a very submissive position and it's not easy to go there in my mind.

I'm guessing someone out there can relate to this and that is why "bratting" in the scene and in a party setting is always such a constant discussion. Many of us are looking for more subtle ways to indicate that we want to play without directly asking. For some there is fun in the chase and the game leading up to a scene that plays into one's headspace. From discussions I've seen on the subject, it seems that many tops are okay with that to some extent as long as the bottom isn't too over the top or out of control with it. But others just don't like it and want every bottom to approach them and just directly ask to play.

That can be a really hard thing to do, especially when you are new to the spanking community. It's quite intimidating to approach someone and put yourself out there, for a top or a bottom. As I've stated above, I still have a hard time with it. But at the same time, the best thing I could share with someone who is new to all of this would be that communication is the key. Communication helps you find out if you click with someone. It can help you feel more comfortable about playing with a person to begin with and can help prevent awkward situations from popping up.

There is a lot to discuss with a potential partner in TTWD. If it is a bit awkward to do in person then email, IM, chat, whatever. Get all your cards out on the table before you plan on playing. And if when you are together they just aren't picking up on your signals and you don't want to ask, check ahead of time if it's okay to throw a Nerf football at their head as a sign that you're good to go. ;-) Communication.

Bears And Tops- Brothers From Another Mother?

I can already feel that grave getting deeper, but I will continue on for the sake of my readers. I'd hate to deprive you of my humorous post, even if it comes at the risk of my backside. So noble of me, I know.

Today's topic is the similarities between tops and bears. Now stay with me here. A conversation about bear safety made me realize that there are a lot of similarities between a bear encounter and a top encounter. Intrigued? Please read on.

First of all, don't be fooled by the cute ones. A bear is a bear and can be very dangerous. One should always approach with extreme caution. The one on the left, it looks like it might be nice, right? One wrong move and you won't be thinking that for long.

Here are some facts about bears:
-The sound made by a bear is referred to as a growl. Who hasn't heard a top growl?
- Many of the species hibernate for 3-5 months. Tops like their rest. Ever wake one up unexpectedly? CRANKY.
- Territory marked by clawing, biting, and rubbing trees. There's nothing about smacking in there, but close enough.
-Size can be between 5 and 7 feet. I've yet to meet a 7 footer. Think Yao Ming is a spanko?
-Bears hear very well. Ever mutter around a top? They always hear you.

At all times:

- Remain a respectful distance from the bear. Everyone likes their personal space.
- Stay in your vehicle! Your best shot is a getaway car, don't let yourself be cornered!

If the bear retreats or seems to ignore you:

- Take pictures, watch for a few moments, and then move on. I don't even know what to say to that... Lol.
- Never feed a bear. Once you provide them with beer and Oreos, you'll never be rid of them.
- If the bear approaches your vehicle, leave immediately. 'Nuff said.

Here are some general safety tips.

- Stay alert. Keep an eye out for bears so you can give them plenty of room. Look for recent bear signs such as tracks, fresh diggings, or tree scratches. If there are loose switches lying around, be especially cautious.
- Travel in groups. Bottoms should always stick together!
- Choose routes with good visibility when possible. Never let a top sneak up on you.
- Make noise when approaching, such as loud talking or singing. Who doesn't like being serenaded? If a bear hears you coming it will probably leave the area. I'm not so sure about that.
- If you encounter a bear, remain calm and avoid sudden movements. That could prove difficult.
- Throw something onto the ground, like your camera, if a bear pursues you. It may be distracted by this and allow you to escape. Create a distraction, got it!
- Never run from a bear! They will chase you and can run faster than 30 mph. They always catch you in the end. Resistance is futile, but we still try.
- Play dead! Some tops don't like the lack of reaction.
- Once the bear backs off, stay quiet and still for as long as you can. Bears will often watch from a distance and come back if they see movement. Me, quiet? No can do.

If all else fails, carry some of this and never get within arm's reach!