Thursday, August 23, 2012


Tomorrow I will be 27 years old. Is 27 too young to be having a mid-life crisis? It's a significant number to me for a few reasons. It has always been sort of a lucky number. I also picked it as part of my scene screen name when I discovered the online world of spanking, "lea27f," though I was 23 at the time. So I'm almost my screen name age! Coincidentally, my birthday is also the day that my divorce should be finalized thanks to this state's 90 waiting period.

Some people don't think twice about a birthday. It's just another day. No fanfare. I kind of wish I could be one of those people, but I've always wanted birthdays to be special. Why not? The average day is at best boring and at worst really shitty. Might as well have something to celebrate. And thank you Americans for the whole birthday spanking thing. That's always been a highlight since emerging as a spanko.

To my friends, I'm known as the birthday Rain Man. As bad as I've always been at math I have an excellent memory for useless trivia, names, faces, and dates. If you tell me your birthday once I likely won't forget it. For that same reason, don't ever tell me your Social Security number. Seriously. A friend did it once not believing I'd really remember it. He asked me a few months later and I quoted it back to him. He was shocked. He's in the clear though because I never felt like stealing his identity. I don't think Steven is a name that suits me anyway.

If I ever become an old lady and start forgetting everything, I'm pretty sure one of the last memories I have will be Justin Timberlake's birthday. I won't ever forget that, but damned if I don't have to go from my car to my apartment door two or three times because I can't remember if I already locked it when I leave for work. Sigh. Yeah, birthdays. It's always nice to be remembered.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what the hell I'm doing with my life and events of this past year. It has not been a very good year for many reasons. Divorce, loss, major health issues with family members, crazy family issues in general, work stress, disappearing friends, financial strain, every insecurity I have about myself rising to the surface. Change. I don't adapt well to change.

The other day, the new person in my office started throwing things away and rearranging how everything was stored and I was getting so damn annoyed. My OCD was definitely on a red alert day. I don't care that those folders have been sitting there unused for the 7 years I've been here, leave it alone. Don't fuck with my environment! Lol. I know that sounds totally crazy.

I feel like the older I get, the less real friends I have. Is it just me or is that the way of things? I feel I'm not in the same place as most people I know. The single crowd has been in party mode since high school and I've never been one to go get drunk and smoke weed every weekend. The settled down people are married with several kids so have no life outside of that anymore. You only get invited over if you have a child to bring for a playdate. Single friends get phased out completely. I'm a lost old soul who doesn't quite fit anywhere.

The scene has been one of my bright spots. I'm glad that I finally decided to get involved in things locally because I've had fun and met a lot of great people. I'm sorry they've met me at a time that I'm such a basket case though. To all my friends, the real ones out there who've stuck around through crazy times, you are noticed and appreciated. I truly care for you. If only everyone could be close by.

Here's hoping that year 27 is a good one and a fresh start in many ways. Hey, I have 2 major spanking parties happening in about the next 6 weeks, so can't complain too much right? What's that? When do I not complain? Hey, I heard that! I think this will be a fun weekend with a few different things going on and hopefully a good spanking to tell you all about later. Until next time, this is lea26f, signing off.


wordsmith said...

Happy birthday tomorrow Lea! 27 seems like an excellent age to me ;-) Even better is 35. I could say lots of reassuring things, but I expect you have heard them all...the thing I have learnt is to be happy now, and not always be waiting or planning for some dream. When you look back, you'll realise you were already in that dream and never realised it!

Emen said...

Happy Birthday. I hope it's special. And two spanking parties coming up. Sounds like a celebration to me!

A.S.S. said...

Happy (early) Birthday! It's hard to believe you're only 27 based on your blog posts (that's a compliment). Might have to question your wisdom on sharing your birthday as you head into two spanking parties though... lol.

~Todd and Suzy

eileen061209 said...

"I feel like the older I get, the less real friends I have." As I have grown older, I have fewer friends. Our interests, activities and boundaries change.

But the 2 or 3 loving, loyal friends I keep company with these days fit my needs. And I know that those 2 or 3 lines of communication, though sometimes difficult to consistently keep secure, are what make me feel safe, feel cared about and feel that no matter will be okay.

Going through a divorce, changes, stress all make for an emotionally bumpy year, lea. Maybe it will help if you can remember the words we learned to a song one weekend in the mountains. It was something about holding on tight to your dreams.... You remember. I know you do.

Anonymous said...


We have to celebrate your birthday next weekend. Yes. The whole weekend. We will have lots of fun so you can put the past year behind you.

I am honored to be your friend. In the next six weeks you will be surrounded by many more friends. So cheer up, I know lots of people who would love to celebrate your birthday again in October.

Big Hug,


SublimeWifey said...

Happy almost Birthday! Make a weekend of it. You deserve it. Yes, friends come and go and as you get older more go than come along, but the hope is to foster real and meaningful relationships. Not the surfacy relationships of our youth that allowed us to have 12 best friends, but deep authentic friendships with just a few people who will support you and love you through everything. Even as I say this, I'm sure hoping I'll get there someday.

27 will be a good year, a year of fresh starts. Fresh starts in relationships. Think of that new person throwing away old folders as another chance for fresh starts at work. Fresh starts at the spanking parties.

Have a great birthday weekend!

SNP said...

Happy Almost Birthday. Have a great day and fun weekend, Lea!
All the best to you:)

Lea said...

@wordsmith, Thanks! Here's a terrible joke for you. Why did the little boy cover himself in wrapping paper? ... Because his mother told him to live in the present. ;-)

@Emen, Thank you! Yes, two parties will be a lot of fun!

@Todd and Suzy, Well, I did say I'm an old soul. ;-) Thank you.

@eileen, I do prefer quantity over quality, but sometimes it would be nice to have both. I do remember the words. I also remember another song, something about what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I question that one sometimes. Lol.

@joey, I'm hoping next weekend will be a blast. Thank you. I don't know about this "re-celebrating" in October though. Let's see how next week goes first. ;-)

@SublimeWifey, Thank you! I think it will be a fun weekend and there are many more exciting things to come.

@SNP, Thanks! Hope you enjoy your weekend as well!

Erica said...

It's now tomorrow, so Happy Birthday, Lea! I am twice your age, so I will resist the urge to go slit my wrist when I read about how OLD you think you are. (sigh) All relative, I suppose!

I too hate change, and I know it's been a year full of them for you. Birthdays always feel like a mini fresh start to me, so I hope this is start of a happy, healthy and fulfilling year for you.

See you next week!

Susie said...

Happy Birthday Lea! My guy and I find ourselves in a somewhat similar situation. Middle aged with no kids. People don't really know what to do with us sometimes and we feel like we don't fit. I remember my late 20's and while at the time I didn't want to be married, I felt much like you are right now--like others have moved on to different things and it was a lonely place at times. I had to find my spots, just like you are doing. Who knows what will come of it! Likely something very good!

Wow...that was some happy birthday comment. Sigh, sorry! 27 was a good year for me. I'm wishing you a much, much better year with joy, new friendships and lol...many spankings and the hugs that go with them.

Marne said...

Happy Birthday, Lea! Friends will cheer you up very shortly. And October is just around the corner. See you then!

Huge hugs -


Kaelah said...

Happy Birthday, Lea! 27, huh? Wow, I feel slightly old now... Anyway, here's to many birthday spankings! :-)

Anonymous said...

Lea, Darling,

You are suffering from a Tantalus complex. You are neck deep in the water and dying of thirst. Listen, loneliness is part of the human condition. You know, it's possible and quite common to feel lonely in the middle of a crowd, so it doesn't really have much to do with what others are doing, thinking or feeling.

Did you know we have an awesome friend in common? His name is joey. This guy is sharp. I told him that I was worried about trying to go to CM alone. He asked one of his friends if she would reach out to me, and he gave me her name. That was genius. Joey couldn't help me himself because he isn't going, but he knew somebody who is (or has gone, at any rate)so he made the connection.

Some of the best things in life come about as a result of making connections like this. We always know somebody who knows somebody who has something we need. And we always know somebody who knows somebody who needs something we have.

Go out there and cast your net wide. You are such a funny, smart, worthwhile person, deserving of all the happiness in the world. New friends and new love are within your grasp, you're just going to have to reach out for them.

All we are saying, is give "peeps" a chance! ;-P Got it?

Happy birthday, dear Lea.

Your friend, who feels lucky to have found you,


Lea said...

@Erica, Thanks! Some say that age is a state of mind anyway. That's probably why I feel so old. Lol. Looking forward to meeting you in a few days! :-)

@Susie, Married Without Children just doesn't have the sitcom ring to it. ;-) Thank you for the birthday wishes!

@Marne, It is sooner than I realized! I really need to pull my money together!

@Kaelah, Well you sure don't look old! Thanks! And I did get a spanking. :-)

@Regan, Give Peeps a chance, lol. Got it. Joey is great and has offered to help be my wingman this next weekend already. I am well aware of the good friends I do have and you are one of them. Thank you.

amy_0077 said...

Hey Lea, my best year so far was when I was 27. Maybe it will be for you also.
46 days til the Weekend! Yeah, I know you have that 'other' weekend that you're going to. Hope you have a lot of fun.

Lea said...

@amy, One can hope! 46 days, wow I can hardly believe it!