27

Tomorrow I will be 27 years old. Is 27 too young to be having a mid-life crisis? It's a significant number to me for a few reasons. It has always been sort of a lucky number. I also picked it as part of my scene screen name when I discovered the online world of spanking, "lea27f," though I was 23 at the time. So I'm almost my screen name age! Coincidentally, my birthday is also the day that my divorce should be finalized thanks to this state's 90 waiting period.

Some people don't think twice about a birthday. It's just another day. No fanfare. I kind of wish I could be one of those people, but I've always wanted birthdays to be special. Why not? The average day is at best boring and at worst really shitty. Might as well have something to celebrate. And thank you Americans for the whole birthday spanking thing. That's always been a highlight since emerging as a spanko.

To my friends, I'm known as the birthday Rain Man. As bad as I've always been at math I have an excellent memory for useless trivia, names, faces, and dates. If you tell me your birthday once I likely won't forget it. For that same reason, don't ever tell me your Social Security number. Seriously. A friend did it once not believing I'd really remember it. He asked me a few months later and I quoted it back to him. He was shocked. He's in the clear though because I never felt like stealing his identity. I don't think Steven is a name that suits me anyway.

If I ever become an old lady and start forgetting everything, I'm pretty sure one of the last memories I have will be Justin Timberlake's birthday. I won't ever forget that, but damned if I don't have to go from my car to my apartment door two or three times because I can't remember if I already locked it when I leave for work. Sigh. Yeah, birthdays. It's always nice to be remembered.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what the hell I'm doing with my life and events of this past year. It has not been a very good year for many reasons. Divorce, loss, major health issues with family members, crazy family issues in general, work stress, disappearing friends, financial strain, every insecurity I have about myself rising to the surface. Change. I don't adapt well to change.

The other day, the new person in my office started throwing things away and rearranging how everything was stored and I was getting so damn annoyed. My OCD was definitely on a red alert day. I don't care that those folders have been sitting there unused for the 7 years I've been here, leave it alone. Don't fuck with my environment! Lol. I know that sounds totally crazy.

I feel like the older I get, the less real friends I have. Is it just me or is that the way of things? I feel I'm not in the same place as most people I know. The single crowd has been in party mode since high school and I've never been one to go get drunk and smoke weed every weekend. The settled down people are married with several kids so have no life outside of that anymore. You only get invited over if you have a child to bring for a playdate. Single friends get phased out completely. I'm a lost old soul who doesn't quite fit anywhere.

The scene has been one of my bright spots. I'm glad that I finally decided to get involved in things locally because I've had fun and met a lot of great people. I'm sorry they've met me at a time that I'm such a basket case though. To all my friends, the real ones out there who've stuck around through crazy times, you are noticed and appreciated. I truly care for you. If only everyone could be close by.

Here's hoping that year 27 is a good one and a fresh start in many ways. Hey, I have 2 major spanking parties happening in about the next 6 weeks, so can't complain too much right? What's that? When do I not complain? Hey, I heard that! I think this will be a fun weekend with a few different things going on and hopefully a good spanking to tell you all about later. Until next time, this is lea26f, signing off.