Thursday, February 7, 2013

One Year Ago ~ Why To Attend A Munch

One year ago today, I hesitantly walked into a Whole Foods. I wasn't hesitant because I was worried about being hit by a wayward Subaru in the parking lot, but because I was about to attend my first munch.

I was not completely new to the scene. I'd been attending SCONY events for about 3 years already. But one of the appealing things about SCONY is that it is all the way in New York. I wasn't really worried about running into my neighbor at a party.

In between attending bi-annual spanking weekends I was getting a bit lonely. I'd nearly written Utah off as a kinkless wasteland because it's Utah. There couldn't possibly be any kinky people here, much less spankos. Right? Wrong. I searched my local area on Fetlife and was surprised at how many groups there were out here. Many were aimed at fetishes I did not share, but many others were open for everyone. And that is where I found the information for an upcoming munch.

Now here I was at Whole Foods ordering some coffee with knots in my stomach. People were scattered around at the tables but I'd already spotted the group I was looking for. A small sign was on the table and I recognized a few faces from their profiles when browsing through who was attending. I still almost turned around and left. What am I doing? Am I even going to fit in here? I'm going to say something stupid and make a bad impression. What if nobody talks to me at all?

I got my latte and walked over, sitting at the far end of the table from most of the conversations going on. Before I could say anything, I was greeted with a smile and a hello. Asked my name and if I was new. Was it that evident? Lol. There were more people arriving, more introductions. Small talk. I didn't say a whole lot. Everyone was so nice, so... normal. There was talk of a party a few days away and I was encouraged to attend if I wanted to.

This will be baffling to my regular readers I'm sure, but somehow Peeps came up in conversation. Then I knew for sure I'd made at least one new friend. When I found out she also had Singstar that sealed the deal. I did end up going to that party that was a few days away. And then another one. Another munch. Another party. There can be so many events going on in the same weekend it's hard to choose which one to attend. In fucking Utah. Who knew?

There are so many great people in the scene. Such a variety of interests and activities, amazing intelligent people willing to share their knowledge and open their homes. I'm so glad that I made that first step and got to know what was out here. If a shy spanko like me can do it, anyone can. Admittedly I'm not much better at talking to people now than I was a year ago, but I'm more comfortable and I have my people to hang with.

To all my friends, acquaintances, lovers, spankers, and everyone else who took a moment to notice and say hello to a shy new girl, thank you. I still may be one of very few spankos in Utah. I may have a much more limited focus and shorter fetish list than others. But that doesn't matter. It is the people who keep me coming back. All of you who continue to share a smile and a hello. I'm thankful to have met so many great people and have learned so much from many of you. And it all started with a cup of coffee.

*Unrelated side note- Today is James Spader's birthday. Everyone should watch Secretary tonight and get or give a spanking in his honor. I think it's what E. Edward Grey would want.


Anonymous said...


Thank you for sharing your experiences at a munch and local parties. Hopefully, your words will encourage some people to attend one and learn about the scene.

I have had a similar experience with a local group. I was surprised that there are so few spankos at the parties and munches.

But, I have learned a lot about other fetishes and I have made some very good friends as well.

I have a party on Friday night with a large group. I hope to play at least once.

Terrific post.


Marne said...

Lea, I appreciate your words of encouragement. I have NEVER attended a munch. Maybe you sparked my interest.

You may be a bit quiet, Lea, but it's obvious that you're bright, fun-loving, and perceptive. I think other people view you differently than you see yourself!

Huge hugs -


Susie said...

I'm so glad you found some friends there. Well, I know you have friends...but these kinds of friends. LOL, you know what I mean. :)

ronnie said...

Thank you for sharing your experience Lea. Very brave, not sure if I could go to a munch.

Funny, I posted a clip from Secretary today and I'm going to watch the film this weekend if I can find the video. Didn't know it was James Spader's birthday yesterday.


Regan Marie said...

Okay, I AM afraid to go to a munch, but I must say, you have given me something to think about.



Kaelah said...

I'm happy to hear that you have met so many nice people at your local gatherings, Lea! One might not believe it at times, but it seems that there are kinky people everywhere. :-)

Lea said...

@joey, There are certainly varied interests represented but a lot of nice people.

@Marne, Aww thank you! April can't come soon enough to see you all again!

@Susie, I know what you mean. ;-)

@ronnie, It's a good movie to watch any time!

@Regan, Well you ARE in Jersey. Those people are crazy! ;-)

@Kaelah, There really are. Especially coffee shops!

Our Bottoms Burn said...

Yes, there are normal kinky folks everywhere. The same ones you see at the supermarket. Oh wait, you were at the market.

Lea said...

@Our Bottoms Burn, Yep, I was. :-)