Thursday, February 21, 2013

Tolerance- Fantasy vs Reality

There are times when I really crave a spanking. Yeah I'm a spanko, so that's not all that surprising. But there are those times when I crave it even more and want something intense. This past week was one of those times. I'd been tired, stressed out, annoyed with work and a variety of other things. I wanted a long hard spanking. One that could relieve my stress. Give me something else to focus on for a moment and free my mind. Give up control to someone I trust implicitly. Get me to the point of having that emotional release.

My head forms these scenarios quite well. I could imagine myself sitting on the edge of the bed, nervously waiting. He enters and tells me to undress and get in position for my spanking. I lie on the bed as he murmurs soft comforting words. This is happening because I need it and it's going to be challenging. Letting go is always challenging but it will be physically as well. I'm startled by the first few swats from his hand to my waiting bottom. As it continues I start to relax into it. The intensity picks up and his hand comes down harder and harder with each smack.

He pauses and rubs my reddening cheeks. I know this is a prelude to the more difficult parts to come. I try to keep my body relaxed, my mind only focused on what is happening right now. Butterflies stir in my stomach as I hear his belt unbuckle and slide through the loops. The belt whips against me over and over, biting into my flesh in quick succession. It takes my breath away and I will myself to stay in position. His hand rests on my back and I turn towards him with a nod to continue.

The belting goes on at a fast pace but the sensation starts to blur a bit. My bottom stings terribly and is emanating heat. It hurts but I'm not completely focused on it hurting. I can feel the tension leaving me as my mind becomes more relaxed. I don't notice the few tears that left my eyes until he is there next to me, wiping them away. The spanking has stopped. He caresses my sore bottom and pulls me close to him. I cuddle up to him laying my head on his chest. And in that moment everything is right.

Ha! Only in fantasy will I ever be that stoic. Here is what actually happened. I made several less than subtle comments throughout the night about how I hadn't been spanked yet. S is a nice guy and helped remedy the problem even though it had gotten really, really late. I lied on the bed and he started spanking me with his hand. I was already feeling a little sensitive before he even switched to the leather paddle. That was extremely stingy to me at the moment and had me squirming all over.

After that covered all areas, he grabbed my dense wooden paddle. It gives much more thud than sting which can be harder for me to handle at times. This was one of those times. With each swat I nearly jumped from the bed. I was wiggling a lot and he wrapped his other arm around my waist to keep me there as he continued to paddle me. He knew I'd been wanting a harder spanking but he's also very good at reading my body language and interpreting my squeals to know when I can't take any more. He ended it not too long after that. I did get to cuddle.

He called it at the right time. I wasn't pushed too far. The spanking was just fine but it didn't go how I'd wanted it to. I was really annoyed with myself. Why do I have to be such a wuss? I had been craving it all week and then I couldn't even handle it. Why does my tolerance vary so much from time to time and what causes that? It's so frustrating! If only life could play out like the fantasy sometimes. I'm interested to hear if this is a common thing. Have you experienced a changing tolerance? If so, what do you think may cause that and how do you deal with it?


Anonymous said...


My tolerance is less when I have not been spanked for a long time. I want a long hard spanking, but I have no tolerance.


Erica said...

You're definitely not alone in this. I think a lot of sneaky factors come into play regarding tolerance -- your mood, hormone fluctuation, temperature, etc.

My tolerance varies as well, annoyingly so. There are times out of the blue where I feel like I can't take anything, much as I want to. I kind of liken it to working out; some days I feel so strong, and then on other days, things I'd done just a week ago feel damn near impossible.

And those dense, thuddy paddles ARE hard to take, even on one's best day.

A.S.S. said...

We just did some spanking play out in the snow (it was actually snowing and it was about 25 degrees). We knew we were doing a video that would be posted on SpankingTube so we wanted the spanking to look good. The first attempt though Suzy dove off the knee and into the snow... lol... because it hurt so much. Had to back things off a bit and try again. Still made for a wonderful spanking and it's a great memory. But of course we got some 'you call that a spanking' type comments.

What can you do though. There are lots and lots of factors that go into tolerance levels, and almost all spankees seem to wish they could take more and/or take what they get with more 'grace.' Instead of battling against the reality that getting spanked really does hurt... we either just adjust the spanking down a few notches, or accept there is going to be some struggling during the spanking.

~Todd and Suzy

Lea said...

@joey, It sucks when that happens, doesn't it? Before the weekend I'll have to try to build a tolerance prior to even getting there.

@Erica, It can certainly be annoying. I'm sure those who don't get spanked as frequently as we do have even more issue with this.

@Todd and Suzy, Being spanked on a cold or wet bottom can definitely be harder to handle! Adjusting for the moment at hand is good advice.

Lea said...

I just discovered that this post was Chrossed. Woohoo!

Kaelah said...

I think my fantasies usually involve much harsher spankings than the ones I normally enjoy for real. My tolerance also varies. I think it is lower when I am, for instance, tired, in a bad mood or having a cold. Sometimes a longer warm-up and longer breaks between strokes can help, but I guess sometimes reducing the severity or postponing the spanking altogether are the only possible ways of dealing with a low pain tolerance.

Congratulations on having been Chrossed! :-)

Bea said...

I was way more impressed with you during the fantasy spanking;)

kiwigirliegirl said...

this is one of my worst faults - my changing tolerance to pain. I have all these fantasies in my head about bending over our stool and taking whatever Sir wants to give me and it just doenst happen...because I cant take it, but the next week I can take more. Last year i was able to take some hell beatings - now? No way. It frustrates the hell out of sir and makes him very annoyed with me. If you find the solution - let me know. But i think it tends to be hormones, the length of time between spankings, all sorts of things really...but dont be too hard on are not alone, and i dont think its anything to feel too bad about :)

Lea said...

@Kaelah, I don't like the options of skipping it, but those are good points. Thanks!

@Bea, I know, right? Lol. Thanks for reading!

@kiwi, Fortunately S doesn't mind one way or the other. He is really good about matching it to what I can handle. And you're not alone either!