Last Day- Final Thoughts On Shadow Lane

Originally, I thought I'd go home Sunday afternoon. But here I was on Monday morning still in Vegas. Having a car gave me way too much flexibility. I never wanted to leave. Ron came by the room while I was the only one up to say goodbye. West Coast Hank rules! I really enjoyed meeting him and hanging out. I got ready for the day which involved the hair dryer almost catching on fire and waiting for maintenance to come install a new one. Mr. R was awake by then and had coffee for everyone, thank goodness. I packed all my things. I had told myself I'd leave by 10. It was 11. Chris and A showed up to the room. Surprise, she was still there! Lol.

Mr. R told me he was going to make me cry before I left and pulled me into the other room. We all know I would've cried in saying goodbye anyway, but I wasn't going to argue with him about technicalities right then. He had the F.E.S. in hand (Flesh Eating Strap for those fortunate enough to not be familiar). I reminded him that he'd told me he hadn't used it all weekend and he said he hadn't yet. The man always has an answer for everything. I heard the familiar words "why are your pants still up?" as I quickly took them down and went over his lap.

He pulled my panties down and spanked me with his hand while asking me about some questionable language I'd used earlier. Yes sir, we have discussed this before. No sir, I don't recall how many times I said it but I'm sure you're right. Yes sir, you did say that if we had to talk about this again it would mean soap. #%*! He told me to stand up and went to the bathroom, wetting a piece of soap and putting it in my mouth. Ugh. It was as awful as I remembered from our previous "discussion." I went back across his lap as he spanked me with the F.E.S. and I kicked and squirmed and promised to keep this all in mind before I thought about using such language again. He gave me a big hug and I went to rinse my mouth out. FYI- NOTHING gets rid of the taste of soap and drinking water just makes it worse.

Soon we all headed down to the buffet for lunch. I told myself I would leave by noon at the latest. It was almost 2 by the time we got back up to the room. I talked to Mr. R and Ms. M for a minute and thanked them for putting up with me and inviting me to stay with them throughout the weekend. I'd had such a great time. I never get out all I want to say because I start crying and it's hard to understand my crying voice. This is why I write notes. I think they were trying to keep me from falling apart, because they kept saying "It's okay, it's okay, we'll see you again in only about a month."  I hugged them both and said goodbye to Erin and Harry. A wasn't there at the moment but she'd already gotten 2 goodbyes so I wasn't going to track her down again. Lol.

It was around 2:00. I was lugging my stuff towards the elevator, wiping tears away, when I ran into Beth and Alex in the hallway. Beth asked if I was on my way out and I said I was. She said that she wished we'd had more time to talk and asked if I could stay for just a little longer to hang out, maybe an hour. She is ridiculously adorable and I don't know how anyone could say no to her. And I was a bit flattered that she even wanted to hang out with me. I said okay, I could wait a little while, and dragged my stuff down the hall into a suite full of strangers. Everyone was nice and I enjoyed talking about party experiences and stuff in general. Well, she did most of the talking. ;-)

About an hour passed and now I really needed to go. I was already worried about traffic going back the evening of Labor Day and my vision for night driving is not the best. Beth went with me down to the lobby and said goodbye. I made it to my blazing hot car that had been outside for the past 4 days and fumbled with the GPS to figure out where I was going. I was crying and it was so hot and I went the wrong way from what the GPS told me. All the while fumbling with the damn thing because it wouldn't stay stuck to the dashboard. By the time I actually got on the right freeway it was 3:45.

Crying while driving is difficult and a possibly safety hazard, just FYI. When I get on the plane, I don't have to worry about that. I only have to worry about the people sitting next to me wondering what the hell my problem is. Not counting circumstances and mood swings of late, I'm really not much of a crying person. People at spanking parties have seen me cry more than my ex had in 8 years together. Lol. It's kind of ridiculous. I think I get so emotional partly because I see these friends so rarely, but also because friendships that start in the scene can be so much deeper than vanilla friendships. When you are sharing a part of yourself that you can't with most people, how could they not be? And the people are just great, of course.

The view on the way home

I called my friend SY on the way home because I wanted to jabber to someone about all my weekend experiences. Between him being busy with something and my spotty cell service, we didn't talk long. I had a long drive to process things and try to stay awake. Crying makes me tired. Traffic wasn't terrible though and I got home in about 6 1/2 hours, about 11:00 after the time change.

One thing I was asked a lot throughout the party was if I'd played enough. Here's the thing. I never feel like I play enough. I'm kind of an addict. It's not like I live with someone who spanks me daily, so when it's time for a party I go a little nuts. Last November when I flew out for a one night spanking party for SCONY, I played 11 times in 4 hours. And twice the following day that were hard scenes. I still found myself thinking "oh I wished I'd had another scene with so-and-so." My head says "More!" when my poor bruised ass says "Bitch, are you crazy?"

Because of that, I long ago learned to not directly link playing enough with having a good time. Or I'd always end up disappointed. There is only so much time in one weekend. People only have so much energy. No matter how well I try to plan, there will always be someone or something that I don't get to. But I still have a wonderful time. With this party in particular, I had lower expectations of playing going into it because I rarely play with new people and only knew a few in attendance. And that's okay. Like so many others say, it's about the socializing and time with friends and those funny vanilla moments you remember later on that have you laughing at your desk while coworkers look at you like you've gone nuts. If it was just spanking and no connection, I wouldn't spend all my money on this sometimes expensive fetish of ours. I keep going back because of the people.

Overall, it was a great time. I got to hang out with my friends who don't come out West often. I got to meet some new friends and many lovely bloggers. I pushed my limits at trying to be a little more social. I had some new experiences. I learned I can drive on the freeway for an extended time period and not die. Would I go again? Yes, money permitting, but only if I had someone to go with. It's such a large scale party that I can't imagine going by myself. I'm far from social enough to do that and would probably end up alone in my room for 3 days. I need a talker to accompany me.

To all the new people I met, thank you for taking the time to talk to me. To my fellow bloggers in attendance, you were all as awesome as I imagined you would be. Joey, I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you for being my talker and letting me follow you around. With how many times I was asked if we were a couple, we were definitely around each other a lot. Lol. SCONY friends, I'm so glad you all decided to come. Thank you for putting up with me and all my whining. I wouldn't be me any other way, right? ;-) Only 25 more days until I see some of you again!!